Whoa....Why is everyone slamming Geoffrey’’s (G’s)down so mercilessly??? But do not worry, I am here to defend the place....
I’’ve been hunting for a topic to review after a weekend of somnolescence. But as it happens (beginner’’s luck), after a blistering display of vague reviews, I suffered the all too common affliction, known the world over as ’’authoritis ceaseonova’’ (writer’s block). Hunting in cyberspace..vainly looking for a likely topic to fire my loins..(oops got carried away out there, I mean imagination)..I suddenly see the sub-topic Food & Drinks (ah ha). I hunt for one of my fav watering holes and there it is Geoffrey’s(G). But would you believe it..ITS BEING SLAMMED by all and sundry.
Oh cruel people, how could you say all the mean things about G that you have??
OK, enough of pontificating (read meaningless drivel)
Let me start the serious stuff on Geoffrey
Location - Its off Marine Drive , Mumbai’s most picturesque road, with the Queens necklace (lights bordering the road), famous restaurants & pubs on one side and the sea on the other. G’s is the Pub at Hotel Marine Plaza. The hotel lies between Pizzeria and the Oberoi, and is easily seen from the main road.
Styling - Geoffrey’s as the name suggests is quintessentially ’’Oh so English’’.
Now, though that is not its strongest point, any connoisseur of the stuff that ’’makes you forget the hardships of this cruel world’’(as Jerome K. Jerome put it), would agree, when it comes to a watering hole that just makes you want to put your feet up and relax, the English hit the proverbial nail on the head when they designed the English Pub. There is a lot of woodwork, on the walls and the floor, with the traditional Grand Bar in the centre. There are convenient nooks and corners (just right for a couple), and the larger tables (for 4 - 7 people). What this creates is a wonderful feeling of comfort (like an old house which has seen a lot of laughing inhabitants, if u know what I mean), where you can come after a hard days work, or with some good friends, out for some serious catching up.
Service - Now this is seriously one of G’s strong points. There are a lot of friendly blokes floating around ready to refill your glasses, or the snack’s and sauces bowls (that’s a part covered later. I promise). They have a tough job, with the kinds of crowds flocking to the place and they manage beautifully. Normally, there would be time lag of about a couple of minutes or so, max five before your order is filled.
Drinks - Ah ha, now we come to the biggie. Well..let me just say that they have the crispest beer I’ve had in Mumbai (Fey on you, oh you disbelieving fans of yonder Café Mondegar & Alps).And at 90 bucks for a big huge mug of beer (at least one and a half times the norm hmm... did I just hear some jaws drop to the ground), it’s a killer man. Go for it, tiger and put it away. I seem to keep getting carried away - time for a deep breath). In addition they have a great range of Whiskies, vodkas, cocktails, most of them priced at par with the market (hey, I never promised you the moon did I). They have a great Barman’s Special, which can be quite expensive though.
Snacks - People who do not know me, can guess what a hard core foodie I am.. I mean would you believe it, I have a separate section for the snacks, in a Pub (I promised)..What gives, man??? Well, let me tell you what gives. Geoffrey’s gives and gives...and..(yup)..goes on giving. They have these most amazing Tortillas (cheesy), crackers and sauces. Absolutely complimentary, and never ending. I have still never had dinner there (who can afford it..hehe) just fill up on the snacks, guys. Trust me on this one. Of course for the so inclined (read loaded), there are a host of snacks to choose from.
Music - Hmmm.. There are some who enjoy the ear-shattering, cacophonic music, euphemistically termed as Dance/Trance music (believe me, good trance is extremely different from what is commercially available today). Well, they needn’t come to G’s (except on Sat, as covered below). These good folks (thank god there are still some alive & kicking), play Rock, Rock & Roll, Jazz, Blues & Country(did I hear some gasps of disbelief yes..all my cyberfriends out there, other than Toto’s in Mumbai, Geoffrey’s is the only place where I have heard-Floyd , GNR, Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, Elvis, Beatles, Police, Clapton, Don Williams and what have you..being played on a regular basis. Need I say more.
Pricing - Oh oh..well not everything in this review is all Milk and Honey
One has to be unbiased you know. This is where G’s proves that it is sitting in one of India’s primest of the prime locations (I’m sorry, but I just made that up, couldn’t resist). Everything (but for the aforementioned Beer and Snacks), is on the pricier side (esp. the cocktails). A decent round of drinks (3 large), snacks and dinner would easily eat away 1500 or so(for two people).
Crowd - This is one of the nicest features. Most of the people are here to have a quiet drink with friends, and to generally catch up on the happenings in each others lives..EXCEPT on Saturday ( Hey, I promised an unbiased review).
Saturday Night Fever - Please, please discard all that I have said till now, if you happen to be deciding where you want to spend your Saturday. G’s, like all the other hapless pubs in Mumbai, suddenly becomes a disco on Saturday night. With all the accompanying frills, dance floor, strobes, teeny-boppers, loud & completely incomprehensible music. Harrrumph..
Please don’t misunderstand me, I love dancing just as much as the next man, but I would enjoy it only if the dance floor has enough place...(In G’s, one has to stand on one’s toes and move a finger..and if the effects (strobe lights make the place look like a home for the mentally challenged), create the right zing (if you know what I mean). The music makes you to tear your hair out by the roots. Sheesh..The only point I can think of in their favour, is that ALL places in Mumbai seem to go through the same devilish metamorphosis. on Saturday night. But why oh why, do this to an otherwise heavenly place.
Oh well, if there was no hell, would we appreciate and yearn for heaven...(think about it..maybe someone can write about this, huh..any takers..)
Anyway, I think I have conveyed some sort of image of G’s. The rest will have to be experienced in the flesh. Please go on a weekday, Friday is a good day to go, with a couple of good friends and enjoy yourselves. Believe me. You won’t regret it.
Hope you have as good a time there as I have had. Write and tell me about it.
Cheerio