’You may be sorry that you spoke, sorry you stayed or went, sorry you won or lost, sorry so much was spent, but as you go through life, you’ll find? you’re never sorry you were kind.’
In moments of extreme despair, how does one cope with anguish? People who lose their minds, commit suicide. But that is an easy escape route for a coward. Man in general is brave and strong. So it is difficult for him to lose his mind or commit suicide. Rather, it is natural for him to want to live, to struggle on with life and try to put some meaning into it.
What is it that tugs at our souls to stretch ourselves a wee bit more, to carry on with life that has apparently lost its meaning? Is it ethics, our spirit to survive or the curiosity to know what lies ahead? Life is a mystery which each of us tries to unravel in our own way.
It is often said that in order to come to terms with his complex surroundings, one has to be detached from it. But sometimes it is also the attachment that gets us going. Remember the poem?Home they brought her warrior dead? It was the intense love for her child that had rekindled the widow?s will to live. One looks for a cause, something to adhere to in order to fight against life?s odds. His attachment drives him through bad weather and cruel reality with such a might that when he looks back later, he cannot help marvelling at his own strength! Thus, it is essential to develop a motivation in life. It is the primary force to steer him through hard times and lend him the sensibilities to deal with stress.
While motivating oneself, one should also remember to be gentle and kind to others. Kindness is like perfume; it fills life with fragrance and makes one feel good. And when he feels happy, he generates a sense of confidence that makes him feel proud of what he is and leads him to do good to others.
A good deed is like an eraser. It wipes out the despair in one?s soul and fills it with contentment. Each selfless act brings forth a whiff of happiness, which in its turn makes life worth living. Ultimately, we all strive for our own happiness but when it is attained through spiritual achievements, life becomes less complicated and more liveable.
However, it is not easy to accept life as it is. There is so much that disappoint, frustrate and hurt us. Our hopes are shattered, our dreams are squashed. How do we tackle these defeats? Only a strong mind can do it and to be?strong? means to be?in control? of oneself. This can be achieved only through introspection and self motivation. Our mind is a blank slate. Our desires are the writings on it. If we are confused, the writings will overlap and become illegible. On the other hand, if we are focussed, the slate will show the writings clearly and the mind will go about it accordingly. Therefore, to overcome despair, one has to maintain a clear mind and constant self motivation. We all know that a stagnant pond breeds algae and a running brook keeps its water clear. So let us not be the stagnant pond; let us be the running brook!
Nevertheless, to possess a strong mind, one needs a strong body as well because a weak body is easily defeated, both physically and mentally. Therefore it is essential to maintain a healthy body in order to fight negative forces like stress and depression. This can be acquired through regular physical exercise of any sort?walking, swimming, jogging, aerobics, working out at gyms, yoga or any sports activity. Exercise improves blood circulation and removes toxic elements from the blood. As a result, one feels energetic in body, fresh in mind.
Another important aspect is to prevent oneself from being over powered by stress although those are the moments when one feels the least inspired, in fact, the most fatigued! Beware! Don?t let go of yourself! Pull yourself out! Think of the orphan out there who is struggling with his loneliness, the hungry street urchin who is fighting for a piece of bread, the handicapped girl who is trying to cope with her adversities! Compare and see how fortunate you are! No, I?m not preaching. I do it myself. Whenever I feel depressed, I go to?Ashadaan?an orphanage in Byculla.
I visit the physically handicapped children, feed and interact with them. And their undaunted spirit makes me realize how lucky I am! I forget my petty complaints and return home filled with gratitude for what I have been blessed with in this life! The most educative part of this practice is to witness how easily the children are pleased?a simple meal, some little gift or just a few kind words make them beam with joy! Their happiness invariably spreads across, lights up my spirit and makes me forget my personal woes.
I will quote here two lines of a song we were taught in school:
Count your many blessings, name them one by one?
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done!
Counting one?s blessings is a very effective way to cope with despair.
Before ending, I?ll return once more to the 8 basic rules to manage stress and despair:
Be involved with life.
Exercise kindness.
Exercise good deeds.
Practise spiritualism.
Be introspecting and self motivating.
Maintain a healthy body.
Count your blessings.
Count your blessings.
?One must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being.’