STRESS is the ever-present force which can have both a positive or a negative effect on you, depending on how you take it. However, if you fail to recognise how stress’attacks’ you and think that it can’t be beaten, you’re sure to follow the down trail soon.
One of the most agonising kinds of stress is the one that comes from living with a person that gives you a hard time at home.
People I believe are of two types - first, those who look for happiness around themselves and the surrounding people, and second, those that always find the faults first. People of the second type may be really nice on the inside, but because of their primary disposition, often become what we call trouble makers.
Well guys, if you are living with one, here are some tips that you can follow to make life a little lighter.
1) First of all, remember, our goal is to help you first and not the troublemaker, so leave the latter for a more experienced mouthshut-ter(literally!).
2) Get a friend. I know that your grey matter is oozing out, and you can figure out almost everything, but still, get someone who listens. And if you don’t feel comfortable talking about personal matters, find an ONLINE LISTENER. Flush out the negative thoughts and emotions and all the burden of dealing with it alone(aha!). And after talking about it with all the sugars and spice, forgive your partner. ALWAYS REMEMBER TO FORGIVE YOUR PARTNER for that one offence that got you talking to your listener friend.
2) Talking it out is just as crucial as
WRITING IT DOWN. Get to know yourself better by asking questions like -
’What exactly was about the other person that upset/angered you?’
’Was it the words, or was it something deeper?’ . If is it the words, just forget it. Knowing your partner, you should expect that once in a while. Don’t be disheartened by that, there are far more people in your position than you think!
If it is something deeper, write down in your diary that you will talk about it some other time when both of are in a better state of mind. I have often wondered how Scarlett O Hara from Gone with the Wind used to say’I won’t think about it now, I’ll think about it tomorrow’. With practice, you can learn to not think about it right now. Believe me, you can. And that is because after you’ve faced it 100 times, you will know that its the best way to solve a problem.
Ask these questions -
’What emotion are you going through now?’
’Are you upset?’
’Are you feeling guilty?’
’Are you angry?’
’Are you hurt’?
When your’ve recognised the right emotion, just repeat to yourself - I WILL NOT LET MY DAY BE RUINED.
The second phase of your turnaround should be followed regularly if possible.
1) Reward yourself for being yourself everyday.
2) Indulge
Indulge in something you really love. Learn the power of self enjoyment. I follow a ceremonious bubble bath regimen once of twice a week. Take a book to the bathtub or play your favorite music. Read poetry if you like it.
3) Play with Kids. If you don’t have kids, play with pets.
4) Create a serious hobby. It creates and maintains an independent dimension in your life. Something that belongs to you and you only.
If you don’t like doing things alone, get involved in community work or group activities.
5)Plan a picnic with friends. An outing is great. I remember one of my friends telling me how travel opens up the mind.
6) Do something that makes you proud of yourself. Cleaning that clustered attic or writing that winning business proposal, everything counts.
The important thing is to follow this regularly. Make your feel-good feel-right routine part of your life. Over time it will calm down both yours and your partner’s nerves(hopefully!).
Good luck!