There was a time when I used a spade instead of a spoon and a pitch fork instead of it’s smaller cousin. But, I was happy and growing larger by the day. It was great to have a few beers with the guys(or a few too many) and not worry too much. And exercise? Nah! You gotta be kidding me, doesn’t that like, hurt? So the trousers got tighter and then had to be replaced by bigger ones. Nice suits became a reminder of past days and t-shirts only highlighted that I was turning into Mr Blobby. But did I care? Hell no! Not until one fateful day.
I stepped out of a shower in another anonymous hotel room, but this bathroom was fitted with a full-length mirror. Oh despair! I saw a shaved, naked womble looking back at me through the looking glass. Was this a hideous vision of the future, akin to Dickens’s Christmas Carol? Nope! This was the here and now, and what a frightful site it was. Excuse me if I begin to sound vulgar but how else am I going to describe the depths of woe I felt? My’behind’ was no longer tight, more like hanging jellies at the top of my legs, my stomach(more like gut!) was saying a very intimate’hello!’ to my pelvis and did that baby hang! My chest would have looked great in a 36D bra and my arms wobbled more than rippled! I was disturbed by the Jabba the Hutt creature that had emerged from the shower.
So what was I going to do? My first plan was to just skip lunches. I was successful at that but the net result was that I was still a blob! Why? Because all that happened was my metabolism slowed down and I just retained the bulk of my weight!
Next plan! I would eat healthily at lunch times. Net result was very little weight disappeared although it was a minor success. I also slowed down the beer intake and found to my surprise that my tummy shrunk and I could say’hi!’ to my feet again! It still wasn’t good enough as I was aiming for’trimness’ and I still got a little out of puff mounting stairs. There must be more than healthy eating!
Plan Numero trios! What about some exercise too? That would get the old physique back! So I started sensibly 4-sets of 10 stomach crunches, 4-sets of 10 sit-ups and 4 sets of 10 leg lifts, each day. I started adding an extra set each week, until I was doing 150 of each a day. But it was boring although my stomach was tighter and my arms firmer.
Plan 4! Off doing my favourite thing………. Shopping! This time, not for nice posy things but for’practical’ things. I bought a running machine and a set of weights…. After 5 minutes of running I was scrabbling for the oxygen mask, but I was ok with the weights. I persevered with the running and built up to 20 minutes of running four times a week after a month and combined with the weights and floor exercises the effects were noticeable.
The battle is still going on but at least I’m getting somewhere and seeing the results of all the effort and determination. The message is plain and simple healthier eating won’t sort the problem out alone; you need to get your bum off your seat, switch the TV off and try exercising for about 20-30 minutes a day. Crash sliming courses are no good because you tend to pile all that lard back on again within weeks of becoming’Mr/Mrs Slimmer the Millennium’, it has to be a continuous habit to exercise regularly and DO IT SENSIBLY! If you aren’t fit just exercise gently(you’ll feel it when you’ve had enough) and build up each week. Set commonsense goals and measure your success on that. Don’t expect immediate success, it should be a long-term program that you’ve set yourself. As for me, I’m keeping away from becoming Mr Atlas, all I want is a trim figure and by golly I’m getting there!