Some where in Jamaica, in a posh resort :.Trin Trin..Sreesanth: Yello Bookie: Hey Bro.Dis ist Micheal spekin. Can I spik to ya for a momen plz?Sreesanth: Yep, go ahead.Bookie: You see, I am...er...what was ur name again?Sreesanth: Name..u never asked. Its Sreesanth.Bookie: ( perplexed..Srisan . .Who??) So do ya bat, bowl or u an all rounder ha?And plez being all rounder has nothing to do with one’s anatomy. Sreesanth: Ok OK..dont get hysterical.Bookie: Na ya . Bad memories u see. I had once suggested one of my Pal in Bermuda to try be an All rounder. Look what has dun to him.Sreesanth: Dwayne Leverock?Bookie: Ya. So, wats ur profile like bro? Sreesanth: (in a squeaky voice)..well.you know..er..for now…er.
I am on a specific role...my prime job here is to drive away the mosquitoes while my captain and coach are asleep. The very reason, I am here.Bookie. Yep u c bro, loads of mosquitoes in de Caribbean na? but why u?Sreesanth: Oh come on. Didnt u see me driving them away from over my head in a game against SA?Bookie: Ah ya, the Andre Nel episode...was it da moskiitto , I thought it was.Sreesanth: Emotions, well yes. There was a whole swarm dancing over my head since the time I came in to bat. I was miffed..big time.Bookie: And what about that huge six?
Sreesanth: well..it wasn’t intentional ...actually It was the mosquito leader, whose signing ( Ooo hunzoooo…) was most irritating of the lot. So I wanted to hit him hard...out of da stadium literately.Bookie: Gosh, I forgot to ask ya...Which team do ya play for bro?Sreessanth: Men In Blue. Bookie: F... Man! I m fu..... sorry Man...wrong number. I tryin Srilanka and gotz Sreesanth. C ya Bro. All the best for u and ur Blues....( hangs up)Just 500 metres away from the resort, at lovely beach with a Pretty young thing...Joe: Thank you for making it here Rahul. First things first. Extremely dejected with your efforts ?Rahul: (looking worried ) Well..u see we follow a strict regime. So we can’t plan minutes.
In any case I am only 23 minutes late.Joe: Well its not about u being late here today. its about your performance and first round ouster.Rahul: (thinking...Not again!) Well yes. But I thought u called me here on a date.Joe: No I didnt? Can we start now? Rahul: (As if I have a choice here!) Huh!J: Keeping u as captain despite poor track record and more so retaining the seniors despite fitness issues? Wrong decision?R: Well, We were perfect ambassador for the game, taking India back to its heydays.J: Heydays! You mean, like when we won the World Cup in 1983?R: No, I mean like in 1992, when Azharuddin and other seniors accepted defeat graciously.J: Saurav Ganguly in the team.
Do you think he made any difference?R: Of couse yes. He did. You see, more Bengalis watched the World Cup. More TV revenues and all.J: No we meant, scoring runs, taking wickets, fielding…R: Well we can’t expect everything from one guy, can we? J: Any Special reasons for retaining Veeru the team despite his diabolical form?R: We investigated his form scientifically and found that it was only a mental problem. His was never going to have the right stance after he started losing his hair and gaining weight . So before selecting him, we actually sent him to ’Curves and Curls’ to set right his body curves and hairy curls. And U see he was best of the lot.J: Can we then expect lots of runs from Veeru in future?R: Actually I do not know about Runs, But, he’ll definitely look much better.
That can only benefit us as he will get us more endorsements.J: What about Sachin? Lots were expected from him? But he was a sitting duck against Sri Lanka.R: I disagree. You know MRF approached him after the match and offered him US dollars 50, 000 for their Bat Logo.J: You mean, for continue using their logo for next five years?R: No. ’ For Not using their logo on his bat anymore’. J: But that a shame. Isn’t it.R: Shame. I don’t think so. Haven’t you heard, ’No matter how they come , as long as they keep coming’.J: But that for...R: Runs na! ya but true for money as well!J: You also had two wicketkeepers in the team: Dhoni and Dinesh Karthik.Why?R: Because there are two sets of wickets on the pitch, in case you didn’t notice.J: What about Uthappa? R: Well. That was the precise reason of our failure.
U see, lots of us like to have South Indian breakfast. You know Dosa, Idli, Uttapha et al. We didnt get those and the lack of energy clearly showed.J: We are taking of Robin Uthappa not Uthappam…R: Ah..well yes, of course, very talented young player who is still in a state of shock though.J: Owing to his poor form?R: Well no. His World cup average was only marginally poor than Munaf Patel and we cannot compare Robin with our best Batsman.J: But….Uthappa…shock?R: Ah yes. Well he is still quivering from the vibrations experienced after Dwayne ‘Fleshy’ Leverock’s jump and fall to dismiss him in the slips.J: U also had five fast bowlers in the team, despite spin being our forte?R: Of course, we needed to be fast and speedy.
Only if you are fast, speedy can you escape all those eggs and rotten tomatoes that are thrown at you.J: Interesting. Do you think Harbhajan delivered ?R: No. I think his girl girlfriend from Banglore was expected to deliver, but I think they got it aborted....J: Er…(Cutting him short) And Chappell ? R: Well he is reconsidering his retirement and now wishes to play for India. If that happens, we will have Sourav and Chappell opening the innings for us very soon.J: Area for improvements?R: Well, We have potential. Its just few areas, we need to improve upon.J: Like?R: Like bowling in first 20, batting, fielding, bowling in last 10, running between wickets and ya bowling in the middle.Contd. in Comments Section.