Actually I should have known from the title itself. Karma and Holi? (But this era of cinema being an experimental one, you can hardly judge the movie by its name anymore.) I think the original Hollywood title made a little more sense – Karma, Confessions and Holi – At least a bit more relevant to the non existent storyline!) But first things first.
The reasons I decided to watch this movie for - The star cast – Sushmita Sen, Randeep Hooda, Suchitra Krishnamoorty, Suresh Oberoi, Rati Agnihotri. I know even the smartest ones make mistakes. But in this case you just feel sad for the likes of Sen and Hooda. Talent wasted and HOW!!!!
Naomi Campbell – Yes, The Naomi Campbell (who dated the likes of Hugo Chavez and John Kennedy Jr.) She actually plays a struggling actress who is a kind of damsel in distress and is made pregnant by the director who is trying to make a movie for the last 10 years! In the Hindi version she actually goes – mein tumhare bachhe ki maa banne wali hun, breaking into tears, her voice dubbed by some heavily accented south Indian female!!!
The producer of the movie – Drena De niro is the daughter of the legendary Robert de niro. Well, I am just happy that she is his adopted daughter, so officially she has no de niro genes in her. (Thank God for small favors!)
So what are all these big names doing in here? I have no clue and I seriously doubt the makers have any idea as well. I guess, in some vague way they wanted to attempt something like The Monsoon Wedding. But high hopes – they fail miserably. Now, to serve the purpose of writing this review, let me organize my thoughts and go one blunder at a time.
The story
Since I seriously recommend not watching this one, I might as well give away the plot. But, Oh there is no plot out here! Its just one of those half baked, poorly written scripts, which goes nowhere from nowhere. I seriously want to ask the director – what kind of an audience he had in mind while making this? On the face of it, an up class Indian couple in suburban New York plan a Holi gathering with their close friends – an assortment of MCPs, struggling actresses/directors, a bickering wife/mother, confused teenagers and the like. Everybody is having their own problems and with time, the bunch gets involved in each others life. As the evening thickens (into nothing), they decide to play truth or dare. So its confession time, and all these seemingly drunk people make very serious and profound revelations. And that’s all there is to it (except the end, the analysis of which follows in the next paragraph). Just because my time is at stake I try to make sense of what’s happening. And before I realize how the story started and where it’s going it’s actually close to the end.
The end. This certainly takes the cake. All of a sudden, all the problems of the characters are sorted out by a number of weird dubious miracles. The ever docile Sujata leaves her MCP of a husband, yes just like that – main aapko chhod rahi hun (!!!) The kohlis get the much needed money from a guy called rich smooth (???) by simple blackmail, The-wanting-to-be-a-mother Meera runs to puke just when the doctor calls to say she is pregnant. (I don’t even want to elaborate on this one) And all this happens in the last 6 minutes. Some things were still as hazy as ever, but I couldn’t care less. There actually is a song just before the end credits roll (finally) – the typical holi aayee kinds. And you actually see the sworn enemies of the previous evening are dancing hand in hand to the tunes of this Holi aayee song! May be its just the spirit of Holi! And if you are amazed why in God’s name I was still watching it – well I was curious, the stupidity was of such magnitude, I just had to. The movie is an insult on the most average of intelligence. The way it describes issues like racism and cultural differences will actually make your jaw drop.
I do not think any talk of soundtrack, cinematography helps anything. And yes, the amateurish direction is exemplary.
My conclusion –
A complete waste of time. I normally would write reviews when something moves me in a positive way. But I guess in this case I just had to warn the fellow movie-goers about this horror of an experience! (And yet, it could be that I am biased and so for whatever its worth let me go a bit soft now.) Suppose there’s a time you are extremely merry, nothing can bother your ecstatic state of mind and you share this feeling with some buddies. In that case, get a DVD and watch the movie just for laughs. It’s pure bad karma if you get to watch it in the hall and you end up felling almost unholy!