When I was a kid, I told my father I would become a cycle mechanic. Then my ambition in life changed to become a police officer, then a an army officer, then an astronaut, an actor , a director, photographer. But never in my life did a ever say I would become a doctor.
Then...one stupid day...I got a seat, I do not know how, in one of the most prestigious medical colleges in India. It is KMC Manipal.‘Prestige’ – the word made me join here.
This college is supposed to be the most happening medical colleges in India. It has people coming from different places in India and the world. It has an International atmosphere. The NRIs really rock the place here. The Biharis break the rock open and come into a new atmosphere... a place in India which...very different from India....
THE FIRST DAYS AND MY CLASSROOMS: The first day is the day most people would never ever forget in their lives. Think I too will never…
The building where the classes are held had a lift….This was enough for me to brag about to my people in my hometown. I was very excited. I went inside the class room on the third floor. Goddamit it is an AC lecture hall. As usual the first benches were filled even before I entered the class (of course even if they are empty I would not take the pains of occupying them), so I took the 4th row. After sitting an entire life on wooden and plastic benches eroding away my ischial tuberosity it was a luxury sitting on cushioned chairs in a fully air conditioned hall.
Then started something which now has become a problem – ROLL CALL. In school it was not a problem, the teacher just asked for the absentees’ names and marked them. But here for every lecture for every hour they keep saying “answer your roll call”.
My number is 050101116 which is more like a cell number than a roll number. But only the last three numbers are called. The worst and the best thing is I am surrounded by girls from 212 to 222.The best part is they will be with me all during the day and the worst part is during the roll call...
”112” the sir calls out “Yes Sir” replies a nightingale “113” – ’a saccharine sweet voice is heard’ “114” – ’I just drunk honey voice’….its goes on very smoothly until…......116........”116….er…116”, he calls out.....he thinks of marking him absent.... Then suddenly a donkey brays from one remote corner of the class “y-y-yes sir” in a ’I just woke up voice’… and that’s me. My second problem was AC.
When I told my mom we have AC classrooms she asked me not to sleep. Forget sleep.. I feel like running out of the class every half hour to empty my urinary bladder. As soon as the lecture finishes I run behind the professor….and sometimes I think the ’thank you’ my friends wish to the professor is said even to me… (’coz we both leave th class at once)
Ragging: So you people think if I write here all the anecdotes of my ragging you can laugh….? Unfortunately for you and fortunately for me…..Ragging here is banned….So as the seniors say, its is called “Interaction”. Like the word it self it is very mild…. They just ask you to call them sir…wish them…sing songs…dance…write funny stories…but nothing serious…Manipal being a very cosmopolitan place has people from different parts of the country in the campus….and tamils rag tamils only…andhraits rag andhraits… biharis rag biharis… etc. But this ragging really helped me get a lot of good senior friends.
Dissection: A review on a medical college with out a word about dissection and dead bodies…err…cadavers (that’s how they are supposed to be called) would be meaningless.
It was a pleasant afternoon. I had a sumptuous meal…chicken roast…lots of chappatis and rice….I was feeling very sleepy… Our warden said we had classes… I was too sleepy to ask which one….He took us to a hall I have never seen before… as I entered it there was a stench…a really bad smell…something which I never experienced in my life…Then he took us to tables where there were brownish black structures…I went near to see what they are…and..what I saw that day maybe I will never ever forget it in my life….I saw…what our professor said “Your new friend in KMC Manipal - the cadaver” New friend…Gosh…
To tell the truth all my drowsiness evaporated in a second and the smell made my stomach gurgle so much…that I heard it say I will throw out what ever you ate today…I got a real nausea feeling…but there were girls on our table…these girls were the types who even before the said “amma” or “ma” after their birth, said “doctor”…they have what my father always say…zeal…ambition…etc in them to become great surgeons one day. They ‘acted’ (surely the might have acted) as if they weren’t scared or had any nauseatic feeling in them. This really pissed me off.
It took me almost a week to touch the body…sometimes I used to think…why this poor fellow had to be brought here when he could happily rest in the coffin…sometimes…who this person exactly is…what would his name be…
Our cadaver has no head... This always used to start a topic amongst our 20 table mates ’’why doesn’t he have a head’’ a guy says he might have died in a accident....he might have been murdered...later did we know it was amputated to explain the head and neck region to dental students.....
Then as we grew more ‘friendlier’ with our cadaver…we started having fun…While teaching the upper limb (ok…ok not to sound too pompous…the hand as you may call it) we used to close his fingers in such a way, he showed his middle finger to the professor…while teaching the thorax…I placed Aishwarya Rai’s photo inside his heart…Our professor started, ”The heart has 4 chambers…” he opened the heart and there was Aishwarya sitting happily inside…and we all had a hearty laugh.
Girls: For a boy who has studied his last 3 years in a strict boys school, even an average looking girl looks very beautiful. That’s the problem I had the first 1 month. I scared to hell to talk to a girl. Manipal has one of the most beautiful girls and each one of them drove me crazy. I was even scared to ask them their names. And most boys here are ‘experienced’ (that’s how they call themselves…because they have had many girlfriends earlier). So they grew close with them right in the first month even before I could get to know their names. I would try, ”ex..ex..cuse me what is your..n..na…” and then suddenly one of these ‘experienced’ guys barges in and says, “Hey Priya wanna come to coffee day?” Then I would know her name is Priya.
The best thing about medical colleges is we wear name badges over the aprons…so we I have a wonderful opportunity to look at their names… but most names here are funny and weird… the ones I have never seen or heard before… so I keep staring at their name badges…and they think I am staring at something else and they give me a real cold look…………
well there is so much more to write….but there is no space here and I have got lots to enjoy… because life here rocks…
its from a…
~Somebody~