E.T. : Mere paas Space-ship hain, Laser Guns hain, Industrial Light & Sound Special effects ka poora bhandaar hain. Thumare paas kya hain?? ( I have blah blah blah.... what do you?)
Bob : Mere paas Maa hain... ( I got Mama!)
(... aur barsaat mein beeghi huyi Preity Zinta bhi ;-) = And of course the rain-soaked Heroine)
This sums up the movie... more or less!
Aboriginally Original
E.T. : How do you call it an original?
Bob : Didn’t you see the label ’Made in Bollywood’? Besides it’s in Hindi
KMG is a perfect example of what would happen if the emotion-centric Bollywood tried to make techno-centric movie about Aliens.
It is said - you should never ask the origins of Rivers, Rishis (Hindu saints) & Bollywood movies. There are just too many. KMG is inspired by at least 4 Holywood movies E.T., Encounters of the Third Kind, Forrest Gump & Space Jam. Having watched them all, can’t credit this movie with any originality. Some even think it a Sin to look for any originality in Hindi Movies ( Bob - ’aakhir BW hain’).
But even otherwise leaving out all the ’Borrowed’ stuff, didn’t find any ’Originality’. Same old cliched ’Maa ka pyaar’, ’Dosthon ki Dosthi’, Brawny-Brainless villains, Mean neighbors/teachers, Rain dance, BW trade-marked fights etc. etc. Can’t remember any Hindi pot-boiler not having these essential Masala ingredients!
Madness is the Method
A gentle warning. Give rest to your brain while watching this flick. Forget comparing with ET, FG etc. Don’t try to excercise even your most rarely used neurons!!
A desi scientist, Rakesh Roshan (in some phoren country?) finds a method of communicating with Aliens by transmitting Hindu religious word OM in all possible frequencies - a la ’Chariots of Gods’ (which theorizes Hindu Gods were in fact Aliens!) But the unbelieving Goras (white scientists) turn down this theory of Aliens understanding Hindu mythological symbols (racism?). Before our desi Carl Sagan can make contact with Aliens, he encounters a space-ship ( as in Encounters of Third Kind), loses control of his car & dies in the car accident.
His pregnant wife Rekha survives the car crash, but gives birth to a mentally retarded kid ( Hrithik Roshan, who else?). This retardedness is caused presumably by brain-damage caused by the Car crash as explained by X-ray photos of some adult skull ( Neurology/common sense down down). From now on elements of ’Forrest Gump’ & Hrithik Roshan’s make-up man take over!
After one or two mandatory around the bushes & rain-soaked dances with pretty Preity Zinta ( Bob - ’Paisa Vasool bidu!’). HR & PZ invite Aliens to the party by accidently activating OM-transmitter-computer cum Keyboard.
Aliens pay a visit to Kasauli ( scenic place where the movie has been shot?) in a tacky Space-craft ( BW hain... kindly adjust) . Get scared away by a herd of rampaging pachyderms. Hey... how come they forgot ’OM Jai Jagdish hare...’ or ’Ganapathi Bappa Morya’? What Aliens don’t know that?!! Too bad for them!.
Unfortunately one of the VyomVaasis ( hey lets give them some Desi name, okay?) gets left behind. A solar-powered, Blue-colored, stuffed-toy, cartoon character straight out of Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. Remember the movie where cartoon characters interact with humans - ’Space Jam’? (Don’t worry, suitable tribute has been paid to the source by lifting the entire Basket ball match. ) Isn’t it amazing how many sources can a BW film lay claims on?!
This Alien (Jadoo of ’Dhoop’ fame) becomes friendly with HR & co; turns HR into a super-brilliant, dashing, tricep-rich, ace-of-all-trades Bollywood hero (what else?). Even stage-manages a gravity-defying Basketball match. Even Lord Krishna comes to the beleaguered kids & Preity’s rescue!!! ( Alien -1, Hindu God - 1)
Does this Alien-human friendship last? Will humanity allow an alien to live in dignity among their midst? Or turn it into a guinea-pig? Will the Alien be able to go back to his OM (home) world? Watch the movie!
Act or Fiction?!
HRs acting is okay ( I have got an a** to save... mine!), but so unidemensional. The change from a mentally retarded kid to a super-brilliant prodigy ; who learns Physics, Computers, Calculus, Romance, Dancing, Dating etc. without any need to attend any classes or any interactions with adult friends.... happens faster than you can say ’Hrithik Roshan’ ( Bob - ’Sab Maya hain = Everything’s so Unreal’).
I couldn’t make out how much credit should go to HRs acting & how much to his make-up. But he does look different, doesn’t he? Isn’t that all matters for a Super-star? As Bob would say ’ Hey bhai, yeh BW hain. Sab chaltha hain’ (anything goes in BW).
Rekha doesn’t have much role to play except mouthing typical older-than-naanis-time & so cliched Bollywood Maa-ka-pyaar dialogues. Preity is pretty (as always). Those rain-soaked scenes. Main idhar chalaa... udhar chalaa... idhar phisla... udhar phisla... who wouldn’t like to slip along with scantily-clad & drenching-wet PZ?
Rest all... are passe (didn’t even notice them) except some kids going over-board. Johnny Lever doesn’t have much role & dialogues ( Thank God for small mercies).
Songs/Music etc. are good ... but uncle Rajesh Roshan’s magic (Jadoo) doesn’t rise upto to the ’Kaho Na Pyaar Hain’ level.
Did I find anyone?
The film is Recommended strictly & ONLY for Kids ( including grown up kids) & Families . You’ll love Jadoo & this movie only if you think Cuddly stuffed toys are the inventions that changed the World after man invented wheel! Kids will of course love this movie.
But serious Science-Fiction aficionados - please stay away from this movie. This movie unfortunately doesn’t live upto the hype of being first Hindi Alien-encounter film.
Others - the movie is okay for seeing once. At least you won’t come out with a Headache!
Baba Of Bollywood (Bob) Speak - Watch it as a typical Bollywood movie & you won’t be disappointed.