It’s a jam packed theater. The who’s who of Bollywood have got together for the Preview of Krrish 3. Amitabh gives a much needed prologue and soon all eyes are glued to screen as Krrish, the superhero tries to save an airplane full of people from crash landing.
Sunny (wondering) - Papa, mera dhai kilo ka haath iske paas kaise aa gaya ?
Priya (looking at him) - Krrish ek soch hai...
Hrithik goes on to save a kid hanging from wires. He’s trying to explain how everyone can be a Krrish (superhero). But the Kid isn’t convinced.
Kid - Krrish, tumhare paas to mask hai, suit hai aur itni saari powers hain. Mere paas kya hai ?
Amit - Hain, kya bolta tum.. hain.... Tumhare paas maa nahin hai kya ?
Once again we are transposed to Kaal’s laboratories situated somewhere in ’Iceland".
The audience is gaping at his collection of animals and mutants all bottled up in green liquid.
Robert (in amazement) - Boss yeh hara hara liquid kya hai ?
Ajit - Raabert, yeh liquid oxygen hai. Liquid inhe jeene nahin deta hai aur oxygen inhe marne nahin deta...
Kaal takes a demo of his latest Maanwar (Manav + Jaanwar mutant) who can swat butterflies with his 50 metre long tongue.
Dharam (agitated) - Kameene main teri zabaan kheech longa...
Raj - huh....woh to theek hai lekin inse acche to apne Pralaynaath aur Gaindaswami hain....Aurr suno, yeh hero bhi hume nahin jama. Krrish woh samundar jinhe kha jaata hai, . Hum wo jo Samundar ko pee jaate hain...
Dilip - Na...na Rajesar na.. tanne nahin sudharna :-P Tanne to sirf peena hai...kabhi daaru...to kabhi samundar...
Priya (to herself) - Krrish ek soch hai...jise koi Kaal nahin maar sakta ....
Dhanush (overhearing her) - Woh to theek hai lekin kya iska matlab Krish sab ki maar sakta hai. Theek hai....Utna Toh Hum Soch Ke Aaye Hai Maar Lo...
Soon Kaal unleashes his Virus on Aamchi Mumbai. Everyone is terrified at the ugly sights. But Sona is sitting snug.
Sallu - Kya tumhe Virus se darr nahin lagta ?
Sona - Virus se darr nahin lagta Sahab, pyaar se lagta hai :-P
Shah (with that constipated look as if someone’s holding him from going to the loo) - Hehehehaaeee.... hehehehaaeee...
Ranjeet - Haaaeeeee, meri nakal karta hai to theek se to utaar.....bolo - Haaaeeeee
Shah (miffed) - Hehehehaaeee....meri junglee billi yahan kya kar rahi hai ?
Aamir (laughing) - Billi hogi teri. Shadi hogi kisi aur ki......
Kaya is brutally murdered by Kaal. She is dying in Hritik’s arms.
Kareena (bitching) - Kya zaroorat thi jaan ganwaane ki ? Agar perfect partner chaiye tha to iBall Andi khareed leti ...
Aamir - All izz well....
Kaal soon lands in Mumbai. Looking for Junglee billi and Krrish.
Gabbar - Kitne aadmi hain ?
Sambha - Yeh to sirf ek hi hai Sardaar. Pata nahin iske Maanwar kahan gaye...
Jailor - Aadhe idhar gaye...aadhe udhar gaye aur baaki yeh yahan Mumbai chalaa aaya....
Kaal is being burnt alive by Krrish who underscores - Burai me taaqat jitni bhi ho, uska antim sanskar aachai hi karti hai
Akshay - Kaisa superhero hai yeh ? Yeh jo bolta hai wohi karta hai. Jo nahin bolta woh to definitely nahin karta...
Priya (yawning) - Krrish ek soch hai...
Arre madam, Soch hai to soch hi rehne dena tha. Kya zaroorat thi movie banane ki ?
PS - Review dedicated to that dying breed of viewers who can light up an otherwise insipid movie with their witticisms.