If you have Smallpox, Anthrax, AIDS, Flu or bad breath, this is the place to go.Not only is it located in Bandra, which is the best place in the northern hemisphere, and looks and functions more like a 5 Star hotel than a 5 Star hotel, it offers great service too. On all fronts.
The lobby should have an entrance fee, though. Its full of people generally hanging around, pretending to be ill, when all they need from the operation theatre is a band-aid. Heres to over population!
I had the good fortune to be admitted there.The only discomfort was my arm dangling at a place it is not supposed to dangle from.But thats a minor discomfort compared to the hospital experience. It started paining a lot less as soon as I entered the lobby. Till one of the band-aid freaks bumped into me.
I had a few problems signing in though.
Once it was all x-rayed an all I was taken to the room. Now if you’re a normal bombay-ite, in a normal house, you’ll want to break your other hand after the first one is fixed.It has a great TV with remote control, specially kept for dangling arm kind of guys close to the bed.The same arm was x rayed in the nearby Holy family hospital, and the stupid excuse-for-a-nurse over-exposed it.Im sure Im gonna have a Hole-y family. If my children have 4 eyes between them but not 2 each, it’s her fault.
The whole atmosphere is great. The walls have no paan-stains, as I guess you have a right to expect in a hospital.All paan-spitters must be allowed an exclusive tour of the mouth cancer ward. Maybe they could even spit their paan into one of the patients bed-pans.
So much for sensitising bullocks.
The Nurses are friendly, smile a lot and are generally cheeful.They smuggle you butter chicken, and give you laxatives (the other way), smiling cheerfully all the time. Like a strange British comedy. But it’s true.
All the facilities are in house. In Holy Family, im assuming the common toilets are outside, so terminally ill patients, paraplegics, and people with contagious diseases with long scientific names can meet each other and interact freely, and feel good about each other.
If you fall terminally ill, or whatever other disease you have the pleasure of contracting, please go to Lilavati. Ofcourse if you dont have MEDICLAIM, you might as well try Nature cure.Its a more loving atmosphere than your home.
Guaranteed!