That’s the most interesting part of Mumbai local trains. Had to resort to this mode of transport ever since I shifted to the suburbs(being Bandra - so I am still lucky), I do get to see a lot of the hoity toity evolved manners one must pretend to know and exhibit.
Learn that you always wait until everyone gets down no matter what, then rush in - in 2 ques please. Before all this make sure your hair is tied as it can get into people noses and of course a few shoves and pushes and curses later and you cannot move to rectify it, you might be rewarded with a hairspray sneeze.
Then there is the which station are you out at - face in that direction and the shoulder patting starts and nodding and all signals trying the least amount of contact with the most communication. Then it erupts, some 4 feet 10 inch babe caught between 5-7 to 5-8 women and all abuses which cater to height, width, posture, dress - the works with everyone claiming that ’we dont want to fight early in the morning’
Then of course there is the grudge syndrome - a friend got a good whack at a station on the back - when asked why - ’you pushed me LAST thursday’. And then the optimists who keep saying ’get in please. get in please’ - like we have the whole subway ahead of the width of the companion.
And oh there are the cowboy women types who fancy themselves as the heroines of the ’Great Train Robbery’ who insist on standing at the doorway with one hand on the door handle and the wind blowing in their face - looks of romantic bliss passing in shades over their faces. They are actually the most unusual women - look very ordinary but you never know what wishes lurk beneath. And they are also oblivious that the wind blowing is not the Scarlett O’hara wind but a unique mixture of pollution, smog, and god knows what else onto their delicate faces.
But the women are still lucky - less crowd and the first class - you are assured that they have had a bath and come in the deo target audience in India. My favorite resigned male compartment train story is a classmate - travelling for the first time who says - ’Gawd, its so crowded that you sweat and sweat by the time you reach’ to get a pat reply’ ’and you dont even know if it is your own sweat running down your back’
The male compartments also have rules - Virar train - dont get in for Andheri - get into other trains - if you do get in - we wont allow you to get down. Andheri guys are a bit jacked but hey!!! that’s what I like about mumbai - its the people - the hard core working class people that keep this overcrowded city in some order of semblance and get this city moving. I love mumbai!!!