Flashback: 1982.
Place: Radio Talkies, Bellary District, Karnataka
Audience: A bunch of schoolkids who had enough knowledge that there was some connection between Newton and the apple but weren’t sure what. Yet, intelligent enough to reel off the latest movies of Rati Agnihotri with a speed that was the envy of pujaris reciting Hanuman Chalisa.
Cut to the take. The luminiscent Mithunda asking his spellbound audience
’’D’’ for, ’’I’’ for.., S for...’’
Soon, it dawns upon the dumb kids that their teachers in Kindergarten had fooled them by not giving the correct words to these 5 magical letters ’’DISCO’’. Five letters that were to mesmerise a whole generation. A generation which chewed on questions like ’’How can anyone sing with electric bulbs all over him without getting an electric shock?’’. The more diltonesque ventured to find an answer and last heard, they were doing research on the same at Hairvard.
’’Is he a non-conductor? Is he Super-Natural?’’. No! He is Mithunda’’. Kids fed up of a man dressed in all white doing aerobics, rubbing butts with underpaid, overmadeup heroines had found the answer to their prayers! Jeet (as jitendra was fondly called) was out! A saviour was born! Whose dances were the ultimate expression of simulated love making sans the heroine. Whose pelvic thrusts, unlike Jeet were aimed at nothing in general and did not rub heavenly bodies the wrong way.
Behind every successful dancer is a good musician (note that down, it is my original quote!), And behdind two such dancers, you either need two musicians or who weighs double (musically that is).
In more ways than one, God had given bollywood its answer. BAPPI LAHIRI. The self-crowned, self-adorned, self-mangalsutraed king of Indian Disco! A person who single handedly promoted the literacy campaign by teaching dumb kids ’’ABCD’’, ’’1234’’; Who had invented infotainment even before the word was coined.This write up is a tribute to this bejewelled genius, a once-in-a-lifetime
occurence!
To define a few among the several magical moments provided by this disconius (disco-genius) would be a crime. But, in the cruel wordlimit confines of Mouthshut, it has to be done. So, all ye Bappiites, forgive me!
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Aaja main sikha doon tujhe ABC (Tarzan): The director of the movie, if reliable sources are to be believed, conducted an extensive research on how to get family audience into the theatre.
Sticking to findings, he found two people ready to dress up in sizes usually meant for kids. To match kid IQ levels. ’’Stripping is acting’’ Kimi Katkar and ’’have-muscles-will-act’’ berde were roped in.
Kids lined up with parents who were lured in by posters catering to their animal instincts. At the end of the show, a kid was heard telling blushing parents, ’’I would not have failed if I was taught this way!’’ No prizes for guessing the kid.
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No-Vacancy: (Mandakini) If dumb-belles were to produce results, Bappida should have been India’s Shwarzenger by now. He has worked with so many and with such amazing results that in America, the association of dumb blondes would have had him in their ’’hall of fame’’ by now.
’’Is that a crow? Then how is it so fair?’’. A perplexed audience was wonderstruck, trying to match the singer and the person on the cover of this ’’all bust no boom’’ album. The chinese secretly smuggled this as another addition to their torture. And it proved more effective. Sadly, before they could rope in the singer, she got married to a certain dawood who has been using her services ever since.
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Zoo-bie Zoo-bie Zoo-bie (Dance Dance): This encrypted song was a heart felt call to all the animals in the zoo (and those who should belong there). Sadly, in the wonderfully familiar environs of the tune, the message got lost out.
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Jhoom Jhoom Jhoom baba: What if Salma was not a natural blonde? What were wigs discovered for anyways? Back from the latest in sinus operations, the lady from across the border set desi toes tapping. Her talents lost out to Indo-Pak animosity of those days. Sigh!
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Mera naam zoom zoom (Commando): The two magic Ms (Mithun and Manda) along with Bappi da create magic in this number. Bappida made Indian girls go from ’’Main hoon champa chameli’’ to the more jet set ’’Mera naam zoom zoom’’. And now, BJP hogs the credit for ’’India shining’’. Life is not fair.
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Guru Guru Ho jaao shuru (Guru): Asha Bhonsle fans still wonder what drug Bappida used to lure her into singing this ditty. People with lesser magical moments to their credit would surely have failed.
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You are my chicken fry (Rock Dancer): Not many people managed to appreciate such gastronomic lyrics but with some foreign dumb-ass doing the honors for this one, it surely deserves a mention.
sarason kaa tU saag hai
mai.n makke kii rotii
jo bhii tujhako dekhe
ho jaaye ?? gotii (pass the alu samosa pleae!)
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Tukur Tukur Dekha Karoon (Aaj Ka MLA): Soon, he might be ’’Aaj ka MP’’ but in hindsight, this most wonderful way of two people looking at each other was conceptualised, melodified and described by our music God.
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Welcome (Anil Kapoor / Salma / Bappi): Three musically challenged (sorry who take music as a challenge) legends get together. CBS still fails to understand why this masterstroke turned out ot be a stroke, crippling the company.
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I end this magical moments with my favorite (Aap ke khaatir): No comments.
Mithi hai mausambii to kadavaa hai karelaa
maashuuq tere andar tuu hik tuu hik tuu bahaar khadelaa
jaa jaa javaanii kabase hik kabase hik kabase bulaa rahii hai
buDDhii ke chakkar mein tuu kaaeku hik kaaeku hik kaaeku padelaa
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Oh, my music adonis! Savior of movies like
KAHAN HAI KANOON
KHOONI MURDA
AATANK HI AATANK
GANGA KI KASAM
BOMBAY GIRLS
MILITARY RAAJ
KAUN SABSE BADA SHAITAN
QATIL JADUGARNI
I bow to thee! Thanks for all those magical redifining moments in my life.