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3.2

Summary

Main Hoon Na - Bollywood
Jayanth Vasisht@jayanthsv
Jun 28, 2004 06:50 PM, 2304 Views
(Updated Jun 28, 2004)
What a load of Crap

Loads and tons of reviews has been written about this movie on MS. Instead of another review, I shall try to bring out the crap of this movie. Farha Khan’s directorial debut is a mish-mash of a stupid masala movie dotting the Bollywood scenes since time immemorial.


Starring SRK, Some Khan Kid, Amrita Rao in the lead and host of itsy-bitsy roles by Naseeruddin Shah (such a fine talent, terribly wasted in the movie), Kabir Bedi, Satish Shah, Boman Irani and Bindu. Suniel Shetty is the Villain, whos got a shitty role.


All-the-crap


==========


1). Kabir Bedi is India’s Commander-in-chief. Now wasn’t the President of India supposed to be this. I mean when did Dr. Kalam relinquish this premiere position huh?


2). Naseer Shah, dies of a bullet which ricochets of a Video Camera’s handle. Wow titanium hard handle. Kudos to the manufacturers of this. From now on, all VIP Cars will only have such handles...no bullet proof glasses.


3). SRK chases the baddies who are in a Sumo-kinda vehicle, on...guess what, a holy-moly Cycle Rickshaw (on boosters or Horlicks maybe). Now how much more sillier can it get. Rajnikanth and Mitthun Da are hiding in shame. To top it all, there’s a wheelie done too. All you bike-croonies, go take a hike now.


4). The baddies led by Suniel Shetty, doesn’t want the Project Milap to proceed. Why? Because Farha Ma’am told that his son was killed by the Paki’s in Kashmir. Its ok man, but why the heck is the baddie taking his revenge against the Indians huh? His Son expired and so did his brains (rather Farha’s)?


5). Our chubby Satish Shah who’s physics professor is kidnapped by the baddies. Next Suniel Shetty turns up as the new (disguised) Physics Professor. Are interviews conducted only in software companies. No multi-level & HR-level interviews in colleges huh?


6). The climax shows Suniel battering and softening up SRK. Suniel punches SRK, SRK flies through the air, Suniel is lightening-fast, faster-than-a-speeding-bullet (a la Superman. Only Suniel doesn’t wear his inners on the outside) goes to SRK as he is falling down and again punches him on this abs. Wow!!! Kya Scene hai. John Woo, its time for him to take lessons from Bollywood. Throw the laws (loss) of physics out of the open door-window!!!


7). The Khan Kid, who’s also a Khan (this is again in the Climax) goes to the rescue of his army man Bro, jumps right into a chopper and shouts ’’C’mon Captain Jaldi Karo, fly this thing’’ (something like that). The brain-dead, greymatter-less Captain obeys him and the Chopper Flies. Phew!!!


Its a wonder that I have been able to remember so much after surviving through the scare. I am proud of myself and my power on staying alive. Such mindless scenes and stale and drab storyline are the bane of the movie. SRK’s acting is nothing to talk about. Sush is grossly wasted in the movie, as are Naseer Shah and Boman Irani.


Light comic relief is provided by Boman Iran as the absent minded college Princi and by the ever-spitting Satish Shah. The scene where Satish Shah is shouting at SRK and spits and SRK ducks like Reeves in Matrix are hilarious. Bindu, the Hindu...oops I mean the Hindi teacher is always knitting sweaters. She has nothing substantial to do. The new gal Amrita Rao is ok.


None of the crew or cast will benefit from this movie. I simply cant imagine how SRK agreed to do so many stupid scenes. Does their brain go for a walk and forget its way, when they are shooting? Farha ji...pls include this line your e-mail signatures ’’I was lost in thoughts, it was unfamiliar territory’’.


All in all, not a noteworthy film. Despite all this, I watched this movie, because I am in Stuttgart now and any glimpse of Hindi/Kannada/English is sufficient to catch my interest. Watch the movie at your own risk.

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