The name is Na. Main Hoon Na.
I entered Fun Republic thinking that the film I was about to see was the autobiography of a character called Na - Main Hoon Na. Before I elaborate on the movie itself, a few ramblings of my own ...
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26th April, 2004. Monday. The lazy nikamma woke up early. For once. I rushed out of my house at 10 in the morning, an unearthly hour by my standards, to buy the tickets for Main Hoon Na, first day first show. No, I do not have a penchant of sacrificing my beauty sleep to buy tickets for every movie, but Main Hoon Na was something different. After all, Shah Rukh hai na.
I went to as many as five theatres to find out that the tickets for the entire weekend had already been sold out within half an hour. As a last resort, I went to Fun Republic, a theatre which I don’t particularly like. And bought the last four tickets which were available - luckily for the first show on Friday. As the serpentine queue behind me cursed me for being the lucky one who got the final tickets, I jeered, ’’First day, first show, Main bhi Hoon Na.’’
Just before the film began, a large number of school children entered the hall. These kids were from a blind student’s school and we witnessed the fabulous gesture of having a special show arranged for them - most of the kids were partially blind, some totally. And although they couldn’t see the going-on on screen, they cheered enthusiastically whenever they heard Shah Rukh Khan’s voice.
Instead of the usual 10-minute break, we had an interval which lasted a touch more than half an hour. The reason being that Zayed Khan had arrived and was spending time with the visually handicaped kids. Although the rest of the crowd were appreciative of his behaving so wonderfully towards the kids, we couldn’t resist screaming aloud, ’’Zayed is a monkey, monkey, monkey!’’ Kya karein, control hi nahin hua.
You still reading? Oh, thanks ... I love you for your tolerance.
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Finally, I came out of theatre after a mammoth three and a half hours (three hours long movie and the 30 minute interval), I experienced mixed feelings. So here is the verdict right away.
If you are a hardcore critic, the kind of person who prefers pointing out flaws rather than appreciating pure entertainment, Main Hoon Na is not for you. If you do not like entertainment which has you enthralled, but is illogical all the same, Main Hoon Na is not for you. If you are the kind of person who loves movies like K3G (How can you?!), wherein every character believes that crying is more important than breathing, Main Hoon Na is not for you. If you cry foul over films adapting the same special effects as Hollywood flicks, Main Hoon Na is not for you.
And if you are not any of the above, I don’t think you need to say ’’Na’’ to Main Hoon Na.
Main Hoon Na is a khichdi. Comedy, romance, thrill, action, patriotism, jingoism, terrorism, drama and unfortunately a bit of melodrama - Main Hoon Na has it all.
Shah Rukh plays Major Ramprasad Sharma (Golmaal, anyone?) who enrols as a student in the school where Amrita Rao studies to protect her. The beautiful damsel is in danger as she is the daughter of another army official (Kabir Bedi). Thrown along with this track are two others - the fact that Shah Rukh Khan is Zayed Khan’s half-brother and also the main track of the film - Mission Milaap.
The first half of the movie is filled with moments of hilarity. And moments of insanity. The humour in the film is quite good and Farah Khan does a great job while directing the light-hearted scenes, but in my opinion, she goes overboard. The jokes, gigs et al are hilarious, but when they keep coming in front of your eyes at 300000000 m/s and when you keep hearing them at the speed of 340 m/s (I guess I studied a little too much of science last year!), some of it tends to get irritating. Nevertheless, there are numerous enjoyable scenes, especially the scenes between Shah Rukh and Sushmita Sen.
However, although the mindless yet entertaining humour continues throughout the flick, the terrorism angle is a steady part of the entire movie. Unlike what I had thought earlier, Suniel Shetty does not play a Pakistani terrorist. He plays an obsessive Indian who loathes the neighbours. His jingoistic views stem from the fact that his son had been killed by terrorists in Kashmir. That’s why he wants to sabotage the friendship process between the two nations. To obstruct the peace-related Mission Milaap, he threatens Kabir Bedi (the mission incharge) that he would kill Bedi’s daughter unless the Mission is called off.
Action sequences are right out of The Matrix. And unlike ghastly flicks like Rudraksh, the special effects are good this time around, at least by Bollywood standards. Though overdone, the special effects would be awe-inducing to those who have not seen The Matrix.
The third angle, that is, the secret that Shah Rukh is Zayed’s half-brother, is not dealt with in the greatest way possible. But, I feel Farah Khan took too much on her plate - a case of biting more than she could chew. Yet, the superlative acting makes up for it.
Scenes to watch out for include Shah Rukh’s interactions with Sushmita, his being teased and called ’Uncle’ and the entire sequence after the song Gori Gori, which shows how Amrita Rao is reunited with her father Kabir Bedi. In the climax, the fact that all students are taken as hostage is extemely kiddish and stupid. But, the final culmination to how Shah Rukh defeats Shetty is simply amazing. One thinks that all hope is lost and in true Bollywood style, good wins over evil. This final scene is a must-see! Though what follows after this scene is ghastly, as Shah Rukh and Zayed celebrate their victory by lying on top of each other (!) in a helicopter. My eyes popped out and I screamed in the theatre, ’’Aeee Kantaben!’’ The last song, wherein each member of the cast and crew appears and introduce themselves is a unique concept, but may not appeal to everyone since Karan Johar is a part of the crew as well. He appears with ’Costumes for Shrukie’ written on his shirt, er, no, I guess it was ’Costumes for Shah Rukh’, I got a trifle carried away ...
Do not try to dissect the flick. Let rats be the only stuff which we dissect. For if you delve into it and see it from the eyes of a hardcore critic, you will note innumerable flaws - most of them technical, with relation to the action. Yet, the flaws apart, the film keeps you entertained, and eventually, that’s what matters.
The music is good. Nothing more than that. But the lavish choreography elevates the numbers on screen. Two of them are sheer dream sequences with imaginative sets, which are eye-catching, without being garish. Musically, both the versions of the title song are fabulous. While other songs are not pathbreaking, they certainly are extremely hummable. The video of Tumhein Jo Maine Dekha has Sushmita sizzling on screen and on seeing this, the cheap Bipashas, Mallikas and Priyankas of this world should realise that one can look sexy without being vulgar. For more on the music, catch up with my music review of the flick, which I had written when the album had first come out.
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