Main Hoon Na!
ram and lakshman went thru the drill
to take care of the general’s daughter
ram showed his military skills
but then lakshman actually got her!
but harken back to the times
to the beginning of our tale
in some land of sunny climes
and an ass-assination attempt that failed
which left the general safe and sound
but alas claimed his lieutenant in chief
(yes, Ram’s father with a gasp! final dying wish
that Ram meets a half brother long lost - but not found!)
not to speak of wife wronged but gentle, genuflecting
when she prays and even makes snazzy paranthas
and welcomes Ram into her house unsuspecting
he of the fifth infantry regiment of marathas!
yes, major ram joins college where lakshman studies (?)
and where general’s daughter in jute bags swivels
and after some tamasha they become the best of buddies
is all well? no- hark at the approaching evil !
for assassin baba in the background lurks
who glowers like mission kashmir’s jackie
with his band of rebel terrorirst turks
and when not surfacing from underwater
caves - with his guns and non descript lackeys
shoots yum-yummy pictures of general’s daughter
and crikey ! twists his stiff neck in attire so whacky
so where was I? rather dizzy, in this melange of a movie
when one has finished looking at ms. universe so groovy
chemistry teacher at ram lakhan’s college
and blessed with enough carnal knowledge
to make not just our ram pant and wheeze
but maybe even a saint go weak in the knees!
not to mention a ms. punjaban prof who is forever hitting
on ram, lakshman and any good looking male she begets
and a physics teacher - who is the image spitting
of shah satish - and a hilarious princi, one tends to forget!
wow !
will the ends be tied? will ram get full marks in chemistry?
will ma be restored? will jute bag be saved? will the audience pay?
in a totally commercial movie, surely there can be no mystery
but ’main hoon na’, to tell you story -
in case you lose your way!