The credits start rolling and we are treated to the opening song .... a crooning, pouting Kareena trying and failing hopelessly at looking innocent moving to the most profoundly penned lyrics of the century - paapa ki pari hoon main. Could it get any better. Well ... this is just the first 5 minutes of the most anticipated movie of the year.
By the end of the song, Kareena has already declared that her Prince Charming will be the one who thinks of her parents as his own (paapa ko mere paapa kahega, mummy ko meri mummy kahega ... how original!!). We are introduced to the family ... Sanjana the pari (Kareena), her understanding dad, and well-meaning but over-bearing mom. Like in all other Barjatya movies, the family resides in a ’’chhota sa ghar’’ that would put the Birlas to shame in the idyllic hills of Sundernagar. Now this place folks deserves mention. What has the Indian tourism department been doing so far, by not tapping the potential of this paradise? Sundernagar is a bike ride away from snow-peaked mountains, crystal clear beaches, breath-taking ravines and gorges, placid lakes and also endless fields where the pretty Miss Sanjana will learn to ride a horse.
Well, without obsessing too much about this mythical Sundernagar, let us come back to Barjatya’s excuse of a story. Didi dearest sends a rishtaa for Sanjana from the US of A. Enter Mr. Prem - the loud, over-exaggerated, over-built and over-acting Hrithik. Sanjana of course does not want to marry a stranger. Her mom pesters, dad whimpers, Hrithik proves he is goody two shoes by taking care of Sanjana’s injured father. Before you can say ’Kaho naa pyaar hai’, Kareena runs into the arms of Prem dearest. The two forget about their different interests and fall head long in love. Kareena bungee jumps for Hrithik, he reads poetry for her .... (pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa ho jaata hai). In a highly disgusting 20 minute scene, Hrithik wins a valentine competeion for Kareena and to prove his love for her, gets her name tattooed on his arm (yeah baby!).
Enter melodrama, as mom and dad discover this person is the wrong Prem, who actually works for the zillionaire Prem Kumar. Dad is okay with marrying Kareena to the poor buffoon. Mom seethes, bites her lips, rolls her eyes, silences her husband with an ’’aji tum chup raho’’ and decides to do away with the penniless Prem in favour of the rich prince. Enter Abhishek, the businessman - prem 2 .... he loses his airs, awkwardness and reserve around Kareena who is his perfect match. To elaborate this, the director takes a lot of pains to point out that both love painting, hate coffee, and have the same favourite poem by the same favourite poet. Kareena all along is under the misconception that Abhishek is just a friend of the love of her life who conveniently is packed off to Delhi while all of this happens.
When Hrithik discovers that Prem 2 is his boss, friend, philosopher and guide, he graciously decides to give Kareena up. (Saajan .. HAHK deja vu) .... After an overdose of tyaag, balidaan, glycerine tears, Kareena slaps Hrithik, tears his shirt, and the tell-tale tattoo is revealed to the world. Abhishek not to be left behind in the ’’kaun banega tyaagi’’ race, graciously hands over Hrithik’s amaanat to him. Mommy sees the flaw of her ways, and Abhishek Kareena become best friends for life !!
Ain’t that grand?? The one question I have is Why Mr. Barjatya??
Your original movies too did not have much of a story, but at least they had heart. Barjatya continues his obsession with animals even in this movie. After the poor kabootar in MPK, and Tuffy the dog in HAHK, he goes one step further. This time around we are treated to a computer generated parrot who can speak only in names of HIndi fims and a dog, which for some reason finds Johnny Lever’s rear imminently biteable.
The music is mediocre except for the tracks ’’chali aayi’’ and ’’bani bani’’.
Hrithik degenerates from movie to movie. he is so loud and exaggerated in this movie, you barely relate to him or feel anything but hatred toward him. He repeats not just his dance steps, but also his styles from previous movies. He is in serious threat of becoming a caricature of himself. As for the insane faces he makes throughout the movie under the pretense of acting ... it seems like he has taken a page from the acting book of Kareena Kapoor.
Kareena is actually bearable during a few seconds of the movie when she does not plaster her signature pout across her face. For most times it seems as if someone is standing behind her with a gun demanding that she try to look sensuous and glamorous.
Himani Shivpuri as the mom, Johnny Lever as the comic support are sub-standard.
If there is a winner in the movie, it is Abhishek Bachchan. He underplays, emotes through his eyes, speaks softly and emerges head and shoulders above the rest of the cast. Perhaps he wanted tp prove to Hrithik that he too can act ...
In all, please miss this movie and catch an episode of Kkusum at home. Seriously, the two are no different.