Finally, finally, finally, I went in to see this year’s most anticipated release of the year, and quite unexpectedly, the feeling with which I came out of the cinema hall was a mixture of disappointment, foolishness and stupidity, all after seeing the direction in which commercial Hindi cinema has steered to. And no, there wasn’t one but many reasons for this, as you’ll realise from the review below.
.::The Story (if there’s any)::.
The movie starts off by a spunky Sanjana (Kareena Kapoor) giving a vulgar dance performance dedicated to her parents (Pankaj Kapoor and Himani Shivpuri) and teachers on the eve of college’s last day. The girl belongs to a well-to-do family from Sundernagar (!) and has a sister Roopa (Tanaaz Currim) settled in the US. Roopa calls her parents to inform that her husband’s boss Prem is on a lookout for a bride and a site for construction, and hence would be staying with the folks at Sundernagar. Enter Prem (Hrithik Roshan) who is welcomed with utter grace, and Sanjana is prepared in pucca Hindustani style by her screeching mother to welcome him, and is pushed to be in Prem’s company. So the pair go on drives, cycle rides, and since Prem is adventurous, horse-riding, sky-diving, skiing and what not. A party at the Valentine’s Day in which 5 silly games decides the best lover, Prem gets himself tattooed with Sanjana’s name, wins over Sanjana’s parents and ultimately wins Sanjana’s heart. When the lovers start coochie-cooing, an email from Roopa tells the family that Prem’s flight had got delayed and he will be landing at Sundernagar a day after. Enter Prem 2 (Abhishek Bachchan), who’s a Bhaiji. Now this Bhaiji is the boss of Prem 1. What follows is a HAHK style heart-break of lovers, and at the end sacrifice of the Bhaiji (C’mon, brothers can’t marry their sisters!)
.::My Review::.
SCRIPT AND SCREENPLAY:
Again, a story that is as old as yesterday’s newspaper, it holds no charm whatsoever for the viewer, and you can easily sense the film’s climax right from the intermission. On top of that, the screenplay abounds in numerous glitches lifted straight from DTPH (Valentine’s Day), HSSH (Greedy mother), and most of all MYKSH (The whole climax, from Sanjana’s engagement to lover’s reunion). Novelty is definitely a thing of the past and maybe only the name ‘Prem’ which the director stresses from start to end can be termed as ‘novel’. The film’s setting is again highly superficial. What looks like a foreign locale is termed as Sundernagar. And this Sundernagar has everything from snow-capped peaks, lush green gardens, crystal clear sea and 21st century trains. Now where in India is this place? How could the screenplay ignore such a big fact which only alienates the audience from the film. The film also turns very repetitive in the second half, with Kareena showing Abhishek the same Sundernagar all over again just like Hrithik showed her in the first.
DIRECTION:
Sooraj has simply sleepwalked through the whole film, and with a completely wrong treatment of the script, one just can’t believe if he’s the same director who gave us the subtle Hum Aapke Hain Koun. He has tried to infuse life into the first half by having youthful, energetic sky diving, skiing et al, but all this comes up as loud, vulgar and unconvincing. The second half is expected to carry a subtle touch, but actually makes you sleep, with a song every 10 minutes waking you up. For the mass appeal, a lot of skin-show and shrilling ness has been pumped in which just gives a big headache. The worst part of the movie is the immature way in which the emotional sequences have been handled. Definitely, the director’s worst shot.
TECHNICALITIES:
Special effects need special mention here. From the start, you are introduced to an animated parrot (yes, a cartoon, not even a 3D model) who shrills god-knows-what and a dog whose face turns animated (a la The Mask) if an expression is wanted. I for once was confused if this stupid touch was to attract children. Cinematography is strictly okay with a routine style of shot-taking and lighting. Editing is terrible and the film needs to be trimmed by atleast an hour (Its 3.5 hours, as of now) to give it atleast a crisper feel. Dress-designing is terrible, with Hrithik and Abhishek arousing more laughs than the animals in the movie. Rest all the actors are draped in routine stuff. Choreography is horrible to say the least. Jay Borade (of HAHK fame) seems to have given Madhuri’s thumkaas to Hrithik and Salman’s style to Kareena. Not even one song is decently choreographed, save for “Prem Meri Aankhon Mein” which could have been one blast of a number had there been another choreographer at the helm of affairs, which is sad for the film has 10 full-length songs.
MUSIC: *
Loud, piercing and hamming are the words that come out hearing these trashy poems from Anu Malik. On screen however, their loudness, keeps the viewer awake. “Papa Ki Pari Hoon” is stupidly sung and presented. Ditto for “Dil Ne Bahut Socha”, “Bhatke Panchhi” and “Ladka Yeh Kehta Hai”. “O Ajnabi”, “Sanjana I love You” and “Kasam Ki Kasam” (towards the climax) only elasticise the film more which leaves us with two decent numbers. “Aur Mohabbat Hai” is a wonderful ditty but its advisable that you close your eyes to enjoy it. “Prem Meri Aankhon Mein” is the only uplifting tune with a neat, emotion-full picturisation.
ACTING: *
Clearly, this film explains why star-kids are such a disaster nowadays. Its not that they can’t emote, its just that they misinterpret their characters completely and don’t know where to draw a line. Hrithik comes up with his career-worst performance hamming his way all through. His constant stripping on-screen and showing off his pumped-up fibre-glass physique is even more regressive. Abhishek follows closely with a completely dumb performance. His character required a handsome actor with oodles of screen presence. Instead we have this 6-feet Leaning tower of Pisa with squinted, jaundiced eyes, croaky voice and gayish mannerisms.
Kareena, thankfully, looks consistent, but acting-wise she is strictly routine. Neither is her role demanding, nor is her character fleshed out to bring out any histrionics. She does the bimbette act quite fine, but falters when asked to heavily emote (watch her hamming when she warns Hrithik to come back!). Himani Shivpuri hams, Pankaj Kapoor has nothing much to do than to look like Alok Nath. 5 girls, who act as side-kicks to Kareena look great, act nicely but sadly have stupid roles (calling Hrithik and Abhishek as Bhaiyya…lol). Johnny Lever does raise genuine laughs but the less said about the rest, the better.
Overall:
I wonder to whom should I recommend this 3-hour long cacophony. Disoriented, unoriginal, unimaginably long, badly directed and presented, its got too many flaws to call it either a family-flick or a flick for the masses. Coming from the house of Barjatyas, the quotient of disappointment is even more accentuated. But who knows, the same audience who made KKHHs and K3Gs as ‘classics’ could even turn this one to a big hit!
A nonsense movie, fit for the dustbins. Thumbs down!
© Karan 2003.