Having suffered through two hours of non-stop crassness, I am sorry to tell you that there are barely two-and-a-half laughs in ‘Mastizaade’. The alleged ‘masti’ is so ‘sasti’, that you are left cringing rather than cracking up.
Sunny Leone plays a double role, going by the name of Laila and Lily. One plays with her pusski, aka, cat. The other is a balls-cleaner, i.e, she cleans round, spherical objects with a cloth. The surname is, yes, Lele.( PHOTOS: Mastizaade movie review in pics: There are barely two-and-a-half laughs in this Sunny Leone film)
This gives the script an all-clear pass to bung in rhyming jokes, and a name. Tusshar Kapoor is called Sunny Kele. This gives the scriptwriter a chance to brandish childish lines about bananas. ‘Coz a ‘kela’ is not a fruit. It is, yep, you got that. We get the humble ba-na-na featuring in many scenes– peeled, unpeeled, yellow, green: for variation, out pop water hoses, and other elongated things which resemble, yes, yes, we know you know.
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Out come the standard, dull lines about ‘lena’-and-‘dena’: apart from the rest of the cast using these words every few minutes, we get a pneumatic doll sticking out every imaginable place with surgically enhanced extensions, talking of ‘loongi, and doongi’. Hear it for women, yay.
Body parts stand and droop. And we hear, sigh, ‘khada hai, baitha hai’. Coins leap up from crotches and stick in unmentionable parts. That’s at least a new one. Oh, and before I forget, Vir Das plays a guy called Aditya Chotiya, the surname lending itself to, yeah, you got that too.