On this Fool’s day, I decided S E Xperia’s Gingerbread was done. Well, it was baked well but I had it enough. As Shaggy would quote, MT11i was just another girl - nice but not so smart. Or, as Will Ferrell - the mattress seller would say when you have used the front side too much, try flipping it – the reasonable choice. My previous love Wave 525 was lying on her sorry Bada S for long. Old but do ably young. But, not for me. I had to flip her. So, the moment Flipkart, the delivery king, came out with his pimping exchange offer, I let her go for a mere Rs. 2, 000. Quikr pleaded that her MSP was around Rs. 3, 000. But, I remembered S#it keeps pouring, until we be quicker enough to dump that source S. WS retail charged me Rs. 10, 550( inc. Rs. 51 pick-up charges for that stupid Bada -S) and handed me over a new black Motorola XT -1033. aka Moto G. Cash on delivery. Tesu ke Paiisaa Two.
After receiving it, I placed beside the new Moto G’s box - a souvenir of Wave, her micro-sd card and reminiscent of Neo V, her sim card. As soon as I pulled the back cover of Moto G, I was in for a surprise. No micro-sd card slot, and no regular sim slot. Welcome To FlipKart! Gut feeling. And, you say impulse buying is fun? Next minute, Mrs. Anderson was alive again and I was tapping her with new codes. I was taken to the You Tube and she showed me how to tailor a regular fit into micro one. Soon, my tailor-swift actions with a ruler and scissors fructified a baby Voda. Moments later, me & my Moto G were getting back together – in action.
A Hard keyed-press to the top right and it came to life. It boot loaded with a beautiful flash message. I expected some intelligent message like Hello Mote! I am your Moto G.
My x-sister once told me to format new phones before using it. No idea why but I did it. At next start-up, tutor G came online. I wondered why he was absent from the scene the first time. Moto Assist, Dual Sim setting, Moto Migrate, Moto Help, Google Login and all that other usual android stuff. There was this white M logo batman style on the screen-guard. Half the screen was blurred due to it. I did not have the courage to peel it off. So, I kept rubbing its screen surface. O. . Hello! I wasn’t trying to make it a 7”. I was happy with the 4.5” - HD 720x1280.Besides, I hate tabs. If you cann’t hold it in your pants, you’re just showing off. Just because you are a Mega Mind, please let me try a cheesy line as well. “ I have a QUALCOMM SNAPDRAGON in my pants with ramming speed of 1.2GHz. Would you like to try its touch or playing with it?” or something like “Its KitKat, sweeter than Ice Cream or Jelly. You would have imagined it only in your wildest dreams. Common! Take a byte.” WARNING with an ampersand: Do not try unleashing your dragon in front of a Khaleesi, she might just whisper “Dracarys” and it might backfire. So, dance with your dragon while its rains! Always keep honey-sweet items covered; there are sour bee-stings on the loose.
Moto G has HSDPA capability as well. Lo kar lo baat. Aeda hai kya? Where are your Listening skills? Kaan khol ke suno is Slum ke Ku+e ko! HE will listen to you. Tum usko ek packet doge, woh tumein dus haath packets dega! Net net internet, saying over the top, that you will get H+ symbol. Now do you want to be a millionaire? Heinz? Toh Mrs. ko bolo Doodh mein Complan milaane ko. Maalom, us mein DHA *hai? Baat karta hai, * Heinz!
The time I bought it, Google Odyssey was urging Motu people to stay on Cloud with 50 GB for 2 years. And, you thought that only Doremon had those Cloud staying permits? Ooh La Laa! But, there was a Catch in it. Shanti conditioner applied. Come to cloud within 30 days of Moto G purchase. May I come in ho gaya but I did not go. Because we no become Owl. O thy people of Cloud 9! Hangout there. Use Jaborandi Hair Oil. Stop your ends from splitting in joy. Soon, the monsoon will go away and we will see silvery line cracking open. When sky fall is happening, we might install few Drop-boxes over the date trees. Just in case. Troy, Troy, Toying. Ta Ta Ta Tehalka. You may choose to fall over just in timber lake. What goes up, always comes down.
Oh! I remembered. Cheating! Fraud! Paid for 8 bigha space. But, allotted space is 5.3 bigha only. Anyways, I hardly require more than 3 GB. I have a bad habit of uninstalling the apps. They hardly stay put. By the way, phone is quite light-weight. For sure, I am not comparing this to I-phone in terms of lightness. Might be because I have not put lots of Data. Data! Tere kayi naam, O Data, Data! Joke: Sai baba approached Shankaracharya for renewing his licence, guess what reply he got? Uh! Itna bhi nahin pata? Sailent ho ja warna mein Violet* ho jaaunga. PK: Here, n is silent. In our God’s country, its a rare thing to see a God vanish. *Bakwas band kar! Okay my preciouss.ssss.
Chote! Guess what the first picture that I clicked with this was. It was that of my old phone. OLX pe bechne ke liye. Nahin bikaa! When I deleted that ad, bhangaar waali CCE called and asked me why? What do you mean by why? Delete ka button ko bug test kar raha tha. And, why do these gentleladies keep asking this why every now and then? Ladies, please stop asking me for Y again and again. I will not let my whys cross with your excess. Spare me, find some other donor.
Last but not the least, the battery. Charge! Discharge! If you have installed Whatsapp, you can expect that battery will last a day and a half at max. HIKE up! Its Indian. [Your Mummy’s! Stop spreading these Hike and FRREF invites.] Thankfully, charger they provided has a long cord but you just can’t leave it unattended. When plugged in, it becomes so hot and that too so quickly that you can iron wrinkles off your handkerchief. Made in India too. Charging pe Daal do aur So jaao. Jahaan Daal Daal par Sone ki Chidiya(Sleeping Beauties) karti hein basera woh Bharat desh hai mera! Sone se I remembered, it has Moto Assit feature. You can feed your sleep time in it and phone will keep quiet while you sleep. Bharat se I remembered, lage haath gaali de loon. Abey Pakistanio! Just because you have got Sania Mirza now, doesn’t means that all balls are in your court. We are Wedgies by choice! Don’t push us. All of us will come with Hand Pumps in our hands & flush you behind-the-top Hindukush. Har Har Mahadeva.
Oops! Battery ka batana toh bhool hi gaya. Hmmm! If you do not remember to charge it previous night, it will discharge completely by the night fall. 24 hours at max.Turn off background data; it will drain in three days. As a rule, if you gift a doll to a kid, by natural curiosity, he would thoroughly check every part and parcel. But, in Moto G, you cannot remove battery. Thankfully, it saves Moto from the universal shame, so no hang-ups! How? I don’t know. Nobody ever gifted me a doll. I no no thing like Jon Snow!
Now, to cut the crap short, I will take I out of this review. I am third person now. Far from the maddening crowds.
Screen is black, so don’t let your dandruff fall down over it. Third person told you naa to use Jaborandi hair oil? Glass is of awesome material. Gorilla something material. Hoodibaba! Its Glass not Plastic. Dab it with Fresh Ones and clean. Touch feels good, but it is not as good as that of I-phone’s or Xperia’s. Sometimes it misses and creates trouble in opening screen-locks. Small mesh that place near your ear, whatever you may call it, is of bad metal. It has rusted already, with green goo-goo powder over it. Brush it off. Black paint used over the body is of also bad quality. Third person kept it near Lord’s Glow Care. Immediately, edges changed its complexion. Might be our Indian summer doing the undoing or some internal chameleon defence mechanism to keep off its heat. Voice quality is however awesome. Headpho