Dear MTNL,
I have wanted to been an MNTL ADSL customer since 9th Nov 2005, when I signed up for your 2-in-one deal for ADSL-broadband and an extra free telephone connection. During this three month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking beedi and drinking chai on the desk in your office and chewing pan or chewing gutkha or maybe both.
My initial installation on the present phone line was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your linesman??????????? to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Bhojpuri [incoherent] robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my test*cles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some three weeks later, although the linesman did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as his cerebrum.
Two weeks later, my ADSL-router had still not arrived. After several further telephone or should I say cell-phone calls because mysteriously enough my existing telephone line too stopped working (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my router arrived ... a total of ten weeks i.e:almost two and a half months later after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%... these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone
calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled a**holes
I have been informed:
that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back),
that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back),
that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off),
that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed),
that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Bhojpuri robot woman) and several other variations
on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testcle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don’t care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought local cablenet-providers were sht, that they had attained awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers.
That’s why I chose MNTL[inspite of awful past-record], and because, well, there isn’t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of b*stards you truly are.
You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum -incompetents of the highest order. These Cablenet guys shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
Yours psychotically,
Regards
Neeraj Kanitkar