Cast: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgaard...
There are few sleeper hits in these internet-hype filled times, but the first Pirates Of The Caribbean was one. From a dubious source - a theme park ride? (little did I know it would be made into a movie when I went on it back in 2002) - with an untested cast (Keira who?), it looked set to follow every other watery epic and pirate movie of recent times straight into oblivion. Instead, it took $654 million and sparked not one but two sequels (part three is due next summer). Well for now, everyone’s favourite pirate is back romping his round the high seas. And not a moment too soon. Yes, rougish Jack Sparrow returns for Pirates Of The Caribbean 2. And I don’t say this often, but the sequel (or should it be sea-quel?) is better than the original. I revelled in the shipshape script, ingenious action sequences and nautical-but-nice storyline, which this time round doesn’t forget the plot.No mistakin’ it, me hearties, this is a beauty.
As an ardent fan of Johnny Depp I’m going to put this down to this hero’s boundless talents as Keith Richards (rumour has it the old Stone will finally make his appearance in Piartes 3 as Jack’s dad. Wonder if he’ll fall out of a palm tree?) - inspired Cap’n Sparrow. Johnny’s so good he could charm a performance from the inhabitants of Madame Tussauds. And he gets plenty of practice co-starring with wooden tops Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom. He is the most beloved character since Indiana Jones. Depp and Sparrow are certainly brothers in charms: rogues, heroes, pifflers and acrobats, but forever in over their handsome heads and jaunty hats. They are the movie. It’s the look of humanity that counts. We love them because they’re honest, even if one’s a dubious archeologist and the other a demented pirate.
This time Davy Jones, captain of the ghostly Flying Dutchman, comes calling for Jack’s soul wanting to consign him to eternal drudgery on his supernatural ship. Understandably Sparrow is as sick as a david Beckham playing Ecuador at the idea of giving up his freedom and the high life on his ship, the Black Pearl. So he embarks on a search for Jones’ hidden chest, which contains a secret - the only thing that can save him from the living hell.
Enter the fantastic Jones, expertly played by fearsome Bill Nighy, complete with an organ-playing octopus tentacle head and lobster claw hands. He’s enough to give nervous kids nightmares. He and his Flying Dutchman strike fear in the heart of seafarers as he sucks ships into a watery grave and kidnaps the survivors to be his slaves forever on his ship.
Meanwhile the tides have turned for our young lovers. Humble blacksmith Will Turner (Bloom) and governor’s daughter Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) are thrown in jail on their wedding day for fraternising with pirates. Bloom is given the chance to save his bride by finding Sparrow’s magical compass - the only thing that can guide the way to the chest.
Then, controversially, the sexual tension begins to boil between her and Sparrow. Rum-swilling, womanising Jack tells Elizabeth: "My compass works fine."
Nudge nudge, wink wink.
This prompts a ludicrously brilliant sequence of Jack as a human kebab trying to flee raging natives salivating over the prospect of barbacued Sparrow. The crew of the Ditchman are super-scary too, with half-men, half-fish ghouls replacing the skeleton warriors of the last film’s cursed Black Pearl ship.
Aside from fighting her urges for handsome Depp, Knightley ditches the corset and damsel-in-distress role to slip into breeches for some serious swordfight action. The Office’s Mackenzie Crook is also back asthe one-eyed clown Ragetti, who haplessly joins forces with Jack.
Almost all the original cast has been reunited, plus a few quality new faces such as Will’s barnacled-encrusted undead dad (Stellan Skarsgard) and a sexy gypsy queen played by naomie Harris. Director Gore Verbinski follows through with more of the good work he did last time, making everything look a treat. As he’s another one of those ad directors turned movie makers, every scene is as mouth-watering as an ice cold beer commercial. Production design, costume and art direction haven’t been scrimped on in the slightest. We’re regaled with cannibals, ghost ships, a very scary "fishy" crew and a huge threat from the ocean depths.
The length -151 mins - might seem a lot but Pirates 2 is only eight minutes longer than the original. And it sails by , leaving me climbing the rigging in anticipation of Pirates 3, shooting as we speak.