Wait will you!... I haven’t stopped laughing yet. See the 2 stars I gave this one? I’m begining to like such crap...I need help.
So you thought Dhund-The Fog was bad? Wait till you see this ultimate piece of nonsense that I picked from my Land Of Mindless Movies for your reading pleasure (?).
Let me take you through this pathetic attempt at entertainment...
Pyar deewaana hota hai is what it’s called. Naah, nothing wrong with the title... better than Dhund The Fog anyway. Imagine calling this one Pyar deewana hota hai-Love crazy is! Thank God for small mercies.
Story - the part where you give your brain a rest... or go into coma if you like
Govinda plays a simpleton who wants a girlfriend and his useless friends put him upto stupid stunts in order to get the attention of the fairer sex, like going to a bus stop and asking ladies for the time (guys, does tht work? enlighten me, coz I thought we women were smarter than to fall for tht!). Govinda fails in getting a girlfriend and his friends joke behind his back, about how he’s so ugly that no woman would want to be with him. Govinda hears this and feels really sad. I felt sorry for the guy, I don’t like people who poke fun at others (does chiir phaad of movies come under the same category?...nevermind)
One fine day, Govinda sees Rani Mukherjee in the market. Rani thrusts a pice of paper in front of a girl who being deaf and dumb can only explain the route to the address using sign language. Govinda sees this and rushes to Rani, takes the piece of paper from her and he too starts explaining the route to Rani in sign language. Why he does this, forms the crux of the story. You see, when he saw that girl signalling to Rani, he figured that Rani was the one who was deaf and dumb.
And if that attack on your grey cells wasn’t enough... Rani thinks Govinda is deaf and dumb! So they both think the other is D & D while none is. You can put your jaw back in place coz it’s time for you to drop it again, because Rani and Govinda meet yet again and continue to signal to each other figuring the other person is D & D. So here are two people with perfect ability to speak and hear, signalling like mad to each other... and they’re not using proper sign language anyway!
So soon enough Rani opens her mouth and utters a few words expressing sympathy for poor Govinda telling him how she thinks he’s a great guy. Govinda obviously(and finally) realises that she isn’t D & D. Now, she loves him for she thinks he’s a sweet deaf and dumb guy... which he is not. Govinda continues with the charade for fear of losing Rani’s love. So he pretends to be D & D.
The climax is so predictable that I know you’ve guessed it already. Rani finds out that the love of her life was never deaf and dumb, while we’d expect her to be happy that the poor chap is not challenged in any way, she shouts and cries and throws him out of her life.
In the end.... do I even have to tell you.... ugh! They get back together coz after all love doesn’t mind all those little (?) lies. So the guy could be the biggest liar in the world.. but your love for him makes you forgive and forget... I’m thinking it’s lust not love (even that doesn’t make sense... imagine someone lusting after govinda... sheesh)
Music
Who knows! I was way to engrossed in the fabulous plot to even notice the pelvic thrusts in foreign locales. I won’t say I watched this one for the songs (I obviously watched it for the storyline)... but music seems ok.. the usual crap from LOMM.
The Acting
They’ve acted well. All those hand signals must have been so hard. Luckily not much dialogue delivery was required so they could successfully mask their talent (or the lack f it) with frantic hand movements.
Reasons to watch
The pleasure of watching Govinda not getting a chance to throw his pathetic one-liners at you (he’s D & D after all)
You believe in encouraging people who’re really bad at what they do, after all, they too have to earn a living. So it’s social service in a way
If it’s coming on Doordarshan and thanx to CAS it’s the only damn thing on your TV
If you’re considering suicide coz you firmly believe nobody is as bad at their job as you are. In that case you’ll be up and dancing after seeing this one!
Coz your girlfriend wanted to see any movie with ’pyar’ or one of it’s variants in the title (shoot her)
If you too, like Rani, believe that love forgives all... like maybe, he tells you he’s straight and by the time you find out the truth it’s too late (he he). But you being the true Indian girl, you forgive him for really screwing up your life, then this one’s tailor made for you girl.
Reasons to skip
If after all this, you still need a reason to skip then I don’t know what to say to you.
Verdict
Don’t watch if you have even half a brain (which I apparently do not). Besides I personally thought this movie was demeaning to challenged people.
After this movie, Jaani Dushman will seem like awe-f#cking-some to you. Need I say more?