While people recovering from alcohol or drugs don’t all respond to the same therapeutic approach, people are different after all, there are some approaches that often help. In the beginning, most people need a very practical and realistic approach to coping. This means finding practical ways to:
Identify and express your feelings.
Slow down and contain overwhelming emotions.
Plan how to set boundaries with people or situations that sabotage or undermine your recovery.
Draw on the positive support of others.
Ask for help when you most need it, that’s why friends are there.
Learn problem solving skills
Learn how to take care of yourself by developing positive coping strategies.
Create a plan of action for crisises.
Honesty is an essential element of recovery, and you can encourage this by taking a realistic approach. Being realistic means looking at what you can do, not what sounds like a good idea. You can push yourself to do a little more, but don’t set yourself up to fail. The last thing you need is to create a plan or contract that is unrealistic, and leaves you telling lies or feeling ashamed that you couldn’t do it. Being realistic may mean that you begin by gradually reducing your alcohol or drug use, while working on some of your issues before quitting. Or, that you simply quit. Whatever works best for you is the route to go.
To stay alcohol or drug-free you might need to do longer term or deeper therapeutic work. This might mean dealing with emotional, physical, sexual or ritual abuse; being abandoned as a child; experiencing a significant loss, chronic illness or death; growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family; feeling confused or ashamed about your sexual identity, etc. For some people, this may also include facing their present living situation, such as an abusive or absent partner.
Facing these issues is not easy, and may require the professional help of a psychotherapist(individually or in a group). While some people remain alcohol and drug-free without doing this deeper work, others can’t. Many people find that deeper issues are intimately connected to why they abused alcohol or drugs in the first place. Looking at these issues can help relieve the need to depend on alcohol or drugs.
Just as with quitting alcohol and drugs, dealing with painful issues usually hurts before it gets better. At first, you may feel as though you’re getting worse, but the long term gains, such as feeling good about yourself, enjoying life more fully, and feeling more alive, free and happy are worth the hard work.
It’s tempting to say that there is only one way to get off alcohol and drugs. Some people want to believe that there is a definitive answer or solution that works for everyone. But life and people are rarely that simple. I’ve seen many people become alcohol and drug-free(and others who massively reduced their consumption) by a variety of ways. Ultimately, you should trust your intuition, deep inside of you. If it feels right, try it out. It could be the first step to a life free of addictions.