Scene 1
The right time to play a remix song is 2:30 am, we take this rule rather seriously & then throughout the night it’s phir se bajao shyam: play it again Shyam.The other day my neighbor asked me to lend him my music system…. what’s the matter uncle * aaj koi programme hai kya?……haan bete, aaj sone ka programme hai*.
IntroJackson (A cross between Introduction & Michael Jackson) :
Naushad: The legendary music director who’s in a perpetual state of anger these days .Those Remix songs are driving him crazy .
Harry Anand: The so-so, so-called music recreator(Euphemism for flopped elsewhere thus here).As a child he was a brilliant student and used to wish him teachers Good-morning in algebra.He dedicates his music and singing genius to his childhood days . He and his elder brother(Anand Raj Anand) were so poor that they could not afford a dog and had to take turns to bark whole night .
Karan Thapar: You know him . He’s still wearing the same shirt and has decided to dye another day.
Scene 2:
Harry’s on his way to the ABC studio to participate in a hoot discussion on Remix v/s Original music. Bumps into main-gusse-mein-huunNaushad.
HA: Uncle, can you tell me where this ABC studio is? are you local?
N : No, I’m STD. Wanna make a call? kripya number dial kareen
Scene 3:
KT: Welcome gentlemen to our show – The tonite show .
HA: Yeah, actually I would have failed to register my presence here . I hurt my head badly and the doctors say that they might have to amputate it …I mean my hairs not my head for Pete’s sake!
Ns: Karan, ask him, why are they doing ‘that’.
HA: Err….i ain’t doing that uncle . I wasn’t there with my friends last night . KT: Let’s get going .Go ahead Anand .
HA: They say it’s easy, a child’s play but it’s not that way, it’s a tough ask believe me .We select the right hindi song then an international chart-buster .The amalgamation should be perfect – you can’t mix a Lata number with an Eminem song, right? My favourites are Lost ketchup & Space girls watch me make good use of their hits .And finally you give your musicians a free hand –just go bang! To be honest, my talent is my wealth .i’m a born star.
Ns: koi baat nahi bete, *poverty isn’t a crime anyway . And Karan take note *dekho aaj-kal ke bachoon koporn starhai toh isme khushi ke kya baat hai .
KT: Your turn Naushad shahab .
Ns: Tampering with the classics, it’s pathetic .You have singers who sing as if they are taking lessons in speech-therapy.They sing like an a s s …
HA: a s s * you like it, sir*. People love them .
Ns : And those semi-nude things, gyrating and dancing …dance! …digging the floor like dogs!.
HA: None of my business uncle, I do not have anything to do with those nudals and if you have any problems, say, you want them to wear nothing at all, contact the record-company.
Ns : And what about the Copy-right act?
HA: Yup, that’s my motto - copy-right, left and center.
KT: Sorry for third party mediation, calm down please . Naushad shahab, heard that you submitted a memorandum to the PM, tell us something about it .
Ns : His attitude was encouraging .sangeet ke saath cheed-khani, ye aache baat nahi hai …On second thoughts.Sangeeta ke saath cheed-khani bhi aache baat nahi hai. He will be setting up a committee which in turn will set up a sub-committee and they will look into this matter .
KT: Any new plans Anand?
HA: Yeah, I’m working on a new genre these days . We will mix two or three songs and the result’s mind-blowing . Check this out - ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga jaise….Kaanta laga….jaise Mirchi lage.Liked it? sure you did .
Ns : You guys are after money, that’s it . Accept it .Churning out stuffs in tones, only a certain nikamma can give you any sort of fight in churning out stuffs . Though he churns out exceptionally mind-blowing stuff, sadly it’s not the case with you .
HA: heheUncle, remember Guddu and that song daddy se poochunga? Can I remix it?
KT : Hold on now . This is getting out of hand now . So let’s maintain Status Kyun on the issue and wind-up the discussion . Let the viewers decide .Thank you gentleman!
- pass comments on me ….errrr…on my review, I mean