Some pleasant morning, scene at a breakfast table:
Crybaby: “Yikkess!! Shrieekk!!!! It’s Upma (or noodles or some other baath) for breakfast today??? [whining, cribbing, complaining n forcibly gulping down a morsel or two with aid of hot steaming filter coffee.. ]
Cool mom: “If the Maharani is so particular about her taste buds, why don’t she get her lazy self into the kitchen more often and make whatever that pleases her?”
Crybaby: “But what happened to the onions? At least masala upma tastes better… where are the spices?? I hate this bland concrete stuff!“ [Repeat above parenthesis]
Cool mom: “It’s Thursday (or Saturday or Monday or..) and you very well know we don’t cook onion/ garlic today.. so just finish your plate and get going”
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From that smirk on your face, I assume that you have already figured out who the crybaby and her super cool mom are. But it is often situations like this that makes a masala lover like me wish that I had some yummy chatpata recipes, which bypass regular onion/garlic spicy mixtures yet tasting delightful on the palate. And sometimes, God does listen to such eccentric prayers.. for suddenly from nowhere you will find a well-wisher/ friend/ admirer who shall gift you a whole cookbook dedicated only for such preparations. (On second thoughts, I doubt whether people presenting such gifts are really well-wishers at all?)
And so I read (mind you, I said read only.. experimentation is still awaited), Tarla Dalal’s Saatvik Khana - a collection of no onion, no garlic vegetarian recipes. These recipes use innovative substitutes for onions and garlic and designed for people who do not use them in their cooking on religious or whatever grounds. But rest assured, no one can tell the difference in the taste, is what Tarla claims. Most of the items are supposed to be easy while cooking and range anywhere between 10 – 60 minutes in time taken for preparation.
As usual the book is divided into several sections like: Soups, Indian and Western Main Dishes, Rice Dishes, Snacks and Rotis. But our own extraordinary chef “Rarla Jalal (RJ)” (Disclaimer: No relations whatsoever to certain old hag Farida Jalal!)is reclassifying the contents as follows:
Recipes for the Ever-experimenting Lalithajis
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Here are loads and loads of newer items for housewives to try out on unsuspecting hubbies and kids. All you poor ladies, tired of complaining kids and grumbling husbands over roti sabzis, dish out hitherto unheard of “Corn Au Gratin” or a “Macaroni A La Mexicana, ” or surprise your kitty party friends with “Italian Sizzlers” and “Stuffed Cannelloni with Spinach and Paneer.” If you like to stick to more traditional and desi cooking, no worries.. simply roll out “Lifafa Parathas”, ”Chilkewale paranthas” etc. Yes, all this is no onion, no garlic stuff and will help you in those expensive days of Onions Rs.50 per kg. But if Tarla talks of oregano, nutmeg, white sauce, ajinomoto etc. as daily cooking ingredients and omni present in your kitchen, kindly overlook the same.
Bored Bachelors’ Mouthwatering Specials
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Yes, I said mouthwatering but please stop salivating at those glossy colorful pictures of dainty dishes.. you cannot eat paper, can you? that is unless you are a donkey.. (which you are in all probability).. need I specify that? The recurring hotel/ dhaba visits must have reduced you to a taste-bud-dead species. But now you can rejuvenate, tease and tingle your tongue by churning out delicious Mangalorean “Valval” or a mean “Sabzi ka salan.” And no need to throw away leftover bread crumbs at street dogs.. these can be used for “Koftas in Pumpkin curry” .. I mean the bread and not street dogs.
Pretty Lazy err... Pretty Lady and Senoritas’ Favourite Choices
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On yet another Dieting schedule, Mademoiselle? Fear not. Serve yourself a generous helping of “Thai Style Veggie Soup” a complete one meal soup. Check out all veggie, less cream, no oil delights like “Tom Yum soup” and the “Tomato Shorbas.” In a mood to spend some quality time in the kitchen, miss? Then please try out Rice dishes like “Shahi Pulao”, “Masala Rice with stuffed veggies” etc. Wonder how they must taste sans onions/garlic!
Mom’s-away-helpless-dudes’ Rescue Items
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All you spoilt brats that cannot identify a mixer grinder from a microwave oven, better stick to simple snacks. “Bread Tartlets, Jhat-pat chaat and Corn Panki” will see you through until Mom is back from her maika. For the more adventurous amongst you, do indulge in “Semolina Pancakes” and ”Banana Cheese Rolls.”
Wifey-sulking-harried-ones’ Best Solutions
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Sorry, only God can help you! Never mind, you can still try churning out any/ each one of these items and see which one will work. It is bound to have a positive impact anyway.. either on your wife’s mood or on your forehead or scalp.
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No matter whichever category you may fall under, it still is a good cookbook to experiment out different stuff sometimes. Personally, of the 55 recipes listed in the book, I don’t find anything really new or different. In fact this one just looks like a lift off from Tarla’s own “Pleasures of Vegetarian Cooking.” But as the author claims, these preparations are solely aimed at keeping onion and garlic out and hence some innovations. So..Happy Cooking and Bon Appetite!