Amkag, my best friend from school and I got to spend a day together in June. We had met twice or thrice over coffee and had some online chats over the last decade. So, obviously we had a lot of catching up to do.
A: What u upto these days, Sattius?
S: As u know, looking for a good job, O Great Amkagius.
A: I am not asking for a default status.
S: I am getting to understand the intricacies of marriage.
A: That is something u would be upto and into, for the rest of ur life … just like reading and scribbling.
S: Nay, my friend. I tried scribbling, but am most unhappy with the result.
A: What have u been scribbling?
S: I was attempting to scribble a novel on my college days.
A: Oh no! U too have been swayed by this Chetan Bhagat! Not u, friend! I thought u knew better than that!
S: Nahin yaar! I never liked Chetan Bhagat’s work. I sure have read some of his books, just in order to trash it in the face of people who liked his books.
A: Surely, ur failure at scribbling ‘a fine specimen’ is due to what u have been reading. So what have u been reading?
S: Hmm … Mckinsey Quarterly, HBR, Corporate Biographies, Market Intelligence reports, Marketing and Branding books, books on strategy ….
A: Halt! Who speaketh to me?! Friend or foe?! Surely a foe! For a friend shall never commit this heinous act against the temple of literature, crude or classic.
S: So, I guess, RHPs & the finely printed ULIP contracts are out of the question, O just Amkagius?
A: Surely u jest, brother. The Satyam I knew also read fiction. I agree that Corporate Biographies, ULIP contracts and MI reports fall in that category, but they have no flavor
S: That is true, O wise one! But, frequent blows from the B-school curriculum and the corporate world have done me in.
A: An unfortunate situation which u unsuccessfully blame on the world we exist in. It is my now responsibility to reignite the old fire in u. For that purpose, name me 2 books that u thoroughly enjoyed and when did u read them, my lost friend.
S: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Catch-22, a decade back. The Dilbert books were a respite in the dry spell, as were the Calvin & Hobbes.
A: Aah … so from 3 books a day in school, it’s 3 a year. That is most unfortunate, esp considering that u were reading classics in Standard 6th and 7th alongside The 3 Investigators and other such books of a mysterious inclination. In school, we used to laugh at classmates buying their I.E. Irodov’s and other such blasphemies. I see that u have become ‘one of em’. Hmm … u need to read - The Simoqin Prophecy and The Immortals of Meluha.
S: Tell me O Progressively-Getting-Drunk one, how would these books be better than the others in getting me back on the right(eous) path?
A: As I see it, u have been directing ur imagination into things unholy. Correct me if I am wrong, but ur imagination has mainly been utilized in the following: a) Up-selling IPOs to investors, b) selling packaging instead of content to consumers, c) making urself look good sartorially, with horrific results, d) making smart-ass comments on people’s facebook status messages and pics, e) trying to make ur wife and mother bond, with disastrous results, and f) other such useless pursuits?
S: Thou speakest the bloody truth, O all-knowing one. I bow before ur assessment abilities. Thou hast all the makings of a great consultant, esp so, if u charge me for it.
A: I see that u have suffered a serious brain damage due to ur slavery to the corporate world and ur company of B-school pass outs. For when did friendship take place for barren metal? And, when did being called a consultant become a compliment?
S: Apologies.
A: Good dog. Now listen, go forth and read these books. They are easy to read and fire up one’s imagination. I suggest u start ur journey afresh with The Simoqin Prophecies. Go forth on this quest proudly and eagerly. But, before u do, pour me a drink, copy all ur movies onto this hard disk and fill me in on the last 10 years of ur life.
[Breaking away from the gory details of 10 eventful years of my life, let me begin with the book review in the hope that some readers have stuck through this superfluous and verbose introduction]
The Simoqin Prophecies:
It’s easy to read. It makes for a colorful imagination; and its allusions to myth, popular fiction, movie plots, and cult characters make it highly enjoyable. It does not have the deep craftsmanship of the LOTR(which I found taxing at times), but the ease of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy(sans the trans-universe setting). It is a Sci-fi/ fantasy, mostly fantasy. It makes for a heady concoction of humor, adventure and suspended(mild) suspense. The reference to incidents ranging from the Ramayana to King Asoka, plots from Harry Potter to Star Wars, characters from Jonathan Livingston Seagull to 007, in such irreverently humorous ways make for an amazing read. Every character in the book is brilliantly delineated, howsoever short or long their roles might be. Add to that, the fact that each character is quirky in its own way(save the ‘Citizen’), and what u get is a hilarious riveting adventure book in a fantasyland, not quite unlike our own at some level.
Before I am accused to being absolutely vague about the plot and merely rendering lip-service which could’ve been summarized in 2 lines, let me try my hand at shedding some light on the plot, without giving away too much.
To be honest, if u need to know about the plot, u may visit the Wikipedia page and read it to ur heart’s content. The test of this art lies in giving an outline, and yet leave the actual substance for the book reader to discover. Now, as u read in my introductory lines of this write-up, I have lost the art of ‘scribbling’. However, shamelessly …
The Key Ingredient:
There has been a prophecy of the return of the Evil One/ Dark Lord/ He Who Must Not Be Named(depending on whatever u dig) this very year. However, there is also a prophecy of the rise of a hero; the one who shall kick the a of u-know-who. While, the forces of the world are getting divided into one or the other(with clans, species, sultanates, etc. uniting under one of the two causes) a potential hero has been discovered and needs to undergo training. Asvin, the potential hero has to prove that he is ‘The One’ and train through quests, mentorship programs, etc. On the other hand is an immortal that needs to find the purpose of his existence and fight the evil one in ways he cannot disclose to others. While the former gets his entourage of guards, trainers and mentors, the latter needs to infiltrate the enemy ranks on a basis of a lot of faith(in an ESP driven book), enterprise and wit.
The Recipe for the Dish:
Throw into key ingredient generous amounts of rakshas, ravians, warrior rabbits, flying carpets, dragons, centaurs, sirens, vanars, sultans, vamans, top-gun crows, etc.
Ok?
Add personalities to each of the above
Pepper it over with healthy amount of magic
Simmer in lots of action
Add a hint of a love story
Wait for the bewitching aroma to emerge
Add finely chopped pieces of the element of surprise
Sprinkle some suspense and stir
Pour hilariously large amount of humor
Garnish it with some suspense
Serve hot in large pen pictures
Parting shot:
This is one Indian author who is confident, imaginative and humorous. I usually tend to nit-pick in matters of books and movies. Then I found out that the bugger was 23 when he wrote this! My ego is bruised and there is nothing I can do about that. So, grudgingly, hats off Samit!