I write this with a smile on my face and with a limited knowledge on dance sequences in Bollywood. But I guess anything which seems awkward and out of place to me when I see it on screen doesn’t require a great deal of intelligence to figure out.
So I pen down some latak-jhatak moves here that didn’t exactly set the screen on fire, get the disco crowd buzzing or got the choreographer another assignment.
Mithunda - most movies barring Disco Dancer
I’m afraid I may get some brickbats for this, but even being a Bengali myself I cannot for my life think Mithunda’s dancing later on in his career provided any inspiration for dancing enthusiasts. I mean, maybe Mithunda himself had no hand in it, but 45 year old out of shape guy dancing with 20 plus fat heroines in the sun, rain or snow all with 400 dancers in the background is hilarious. On screen, it appears Mithunda is enjoying himself, and maybe its paisa vasool for the moviegoers, but it doesn’t work for me.
If I have to name a movie, I think I remember one called Teesra Kaun where in a dark set he was wearing dark glares and a Michael Jackson type outfit. As our dear lallupanju would say, a typical goona mawaali sequence.
Govinda - Aankhiyon Se Goli Mare
Hey, I’m not attacking the leading dancers of Bollywood here. But Govinda in this instance does not’rock’. In fact, it is a vain attempt at rocking his over-full belly to poorly made tapori music. The moves are generations old pelvic thrusting stuff, and I wonder how Raveena Tandon’s character in the film got the thrills for him after that sequence. For those who didn’t know of the film’s existence, don’t bother verifying my words by hiring a CD. Give me a NU rating if you don’t trust me.
Amitabh Bachchan - Lal Baadshah
Amitabh Bachchan is a good dancer. I have nothing against this towering figure of Bollywood. But if you watch this film(1999 release), this was from the phase he was trying to reinvent himself as an actor. And a 50+ year old man trying to look young and dancing with Shilpa Shetty and Manisha Koirala with a bunch of dancers thrown in for kicks was sad. Very bad choreography, no dance steps noteworthy at all in this movie. The belles try to giggle and Amitabh tries to present them with complements throughout the sequences. Thankfully, three movies later, he starred in’Mohabbatein’ and reaffirmed his star status and poise.
Suniel Shetty - Annarth
This 2002 movie was a major flop, and so was the choreography and the dance sequences. As it is, Shetty is no great dancer, and he himself admits so. But there’s this song with Kambli where everyone is drunk and they fight over a daaru ka baatli and the guys appear drunk, poor things. Wrong steppings and haphazard movements in an out of camera and all the people as a result bump into each other in the song. That was one number which echoed the sentiments of the film’s title.
Bobby Deol - Barsaat
I always think he looks better with long hair. But no long hair could prevent the hara-kiri of the song’Humko Sirf Tumse Pyar Hain’. No dance routine to speak of, all he does is twirl in the air and look from behind trees. Granted, it was his first movie or that the sequence didn’t grant too many steps - it was a confession of love. Having said that, ’Pehla Nasha’ is on similar lines and it takes no Einstein to figure out what a bummer this choreography was.
Sunny Deol - Karz
There was this Punjabi type dance number with Preity Zinta which looks very bad on screen. Both actors were flabby and clearly disinterested in the song and dance hullabaloo. The choreography was no revelation - dancers in blue costumes in smiling faces trying in vain to keep up to the slow moves of the actors. Another dud addition to this blooper list.
Aishwarya Rai - Jeans
Firstly, the name of the movie is extremely flummoxing. The movie was a flop. The hero looked out of sorts beside Ash. And one done sequence was a song where Ash and the hero were dancing around planes at an airport.
Now how do two lovebirds get access to dance on the wings of a plane? To make matters worse, the steps look more of a balancing act that the poorly choreographed number it was meant to be. Definitely not branded, this’Jeans’.
Esha Deol/Sanjay Kapoor - Koi Mere Dil Se Pooche
Sanjay Kapoor looked horrible after his haircut.(so did he before one). Esha Deol was in her first film, looking extremely babyish and totally out of sorts.
This dance in the movie where Sanjay enters with the weird mask in his hand and Esha looks petrified is as hilarious as it can get. Sanjay looks like a comical villain, Esha - unadjectivable! All in all, a marriage/sagai song horribly out of place.
Kashmira Shah - Murder
Man, was this a boring song, dance and hot babe sequence. Kashmira Shah is supposed to be a hot babe.she looks anything but hot in this dance. Extremely boring choreography, Kashmira looking like a highly made-up porn actress, and in entirety, the sequence was highly avoidable.
Shah Rukh Khan/Sharad Kapoor - Josh
The song’Saila Ru/Saila Re’ is a good song. But I think the picturization and choreography is not. Before SRK fans start sending me hate mail, remember how comic the two actors were looking trying to fight/not trying/throwing vain punches and then running after each other? A total hiatus. Shah Rukh looked slim with the white vest on, and the choreography was messed up as the sequence did not put forward for what it was intended to. The two gangs looked comical, their leaders in the least bit threatening, and no particular rhythm to the entire sequence barring the moments when someone butts in and their’fight’ stops. Even in the movie’One Two Ka 4’ some sequences were poorly choreographed, but such instances are rare as SRK appears to be a perfectionist.
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I’m done. And I’m expecting some mixed reactions. I am no expert in Hindi films nor dance sequences, so it may be highly possible that I wrote a dumb review. If so, let me know. And I ain’t biased against any of the actors or their dancing.I just thought these particular sequences presented them poorly before the camera - blast the choreographer, not me!
Sorry I didn’t mention any of the choreographers, I didn’t know any of them.
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