Meet CK aka Commercial Killer. He kills, but only commercials. How? With couch potato’s weapon – Remote Control . There are 2 ways to kill an ad, if its just irritating strangle its throat by MUTE, if its not-watchable-by-family kill it by switching channels for a few moments. Revert back to see if its dead(over) then enjoy the program until next Ad-attack. But ads are like mythological raktabeejasura, they keep coming.
CK’s Manifesto: Now CK realizes Ads are nations enemy & common mans nightmare. So CK is planning a party that only promises relief from Ads. This party doesn’t promise stuff like water, bijli etc bcos they are already promised by every party. CK’s party is open to pre-poll tieup Serial Killers party- ones that kill Saas Bahu serials ;-) If u vote us to power here is what we WILL do.
The Crackdown on bad Admakers will start seconds after CK is sworn in. 1st step includes making India free of Ads by blocking them. Following this will be arrest & deportation of all bad admakers to cellular jail where they will drink ‘kaala-paani’. The admakers who enjoy wicked pleasure in including scandalous, sxedup scenes in ads will get the worst. They will be outsourced to US military people who alredy have experience abusing prisoners. For harassment admakers inflicted on our minds by their scandalous ads, they will reap the harvest – pervert abuse by US army ;-). Meanwhile India will celebrate its new found freedom only viewing clean ads that are humorous, truthful, celebrating life. So vote us 4 ur good ;-) oops, neta in me went on speaking, let me share my hit list, if u know these admakers – tell them to mend their ways ;-)
Note: I am looking at these ads with MY eyes, the aam aadmi’s eyes. Opinion abt ad only. These are ads I don’t enjoy watching. humor intended as with all my revus. Grr=My coments
1 Pesticide Ads: = Cola ads. of late I am being irritated by Pepsi cafechino & Sar Utharke piyo.
Grr: this pepsi ad has 2 heroines opening up their ‘hearts’ out to us, there is also a hijda like guy who is the toy they kick/kiss. & some noise which they think is music. There is one more ad where a john abram, a house keeping guy at office dances with a woman to get a sip of pepsi. Abey uska joota hi chayiye kya?
The cola ad has amir khan display his lack of knowledge. He says “na jaane kitney dilon mein utar raha ..” He thinks food/drink passes thru heart(dil), another place he says “sar utake piyo”. Someone tell him using a straw we can drink ‘sar jhukake’.
2 Tata indicom Ads ads featuring ajay devgan-kaajal & trisha.
Grr: seems admakers are getting ‘buy 1 get 1 free’. when they book kajol for ads they get ajay free. They come in variety of get ups, as newscaster, reporter, twins et all only to say “log phone lete hain tarakki karne ke liye” or the revelation that ‘log phone lete hain baat karney ke liye’. Ajay even turns sardarji to make us laugh. & the irritating “chal chala chal’..
3 Condom Ads: One Ad hijacks & abuses the famous song “yeh kya hua…” many present them as ‘performance enhancer’! The Govt ads of nirodh are still beter saying ‘Aids se bachne ke liye …”.
Grr: its embarrassing when as a family we are watching TV & these come up. I, definitely don’t want to be caught seeing this ad by my mom. It creates awkward situation in house when we suddenly have to change channel or I have to turn else where. Admakers please note that unlike u, we are born & live in families.
4 Chocolate Ads: For unknown reasons I don’t like chocolates, more so the brown colored ones.
Grr: I get irritated whenever I see their illogical ads like a girl jumping on to cricket ground or ‘pappu pass ho gaya’? I mean what do they want to say? Did pappu pass so ‘early’ bcos of that chocolate? Finally its good that pappu passed but its time Big B matured in choosing ads to do. ;-)
5 Lux Ads: All recent lux ads involving Aishwarya, kareena, SRK. Even without the ads we wud believe that they do bathe.
Grr: my dislike to brown chocolate naturally spills against karina’s lux chocolate ad. Some years back I saw a cute baby girl who made kakka in the verandah & took it & smeared all over herself & smiling & enjoying all the while. Though I felt like doing a ulti, I had to smile at her innocence. I alerted the folks inside who were too lost in saas bahu serial. Now don’t blame for narrating this & don’t recall this when u are eating. Everytime I see karina in ad I am reminded of this & to me she looks sh*t-smeared. Aww, aww ( ulti ) ;-)
6 2Wheeler Ads: except for humara bajaj most 2 wheeler ads are only irritating as they try the rotten girl-falls-cos-of- bike formula.
Grr: we have the reverse trend where guys are taken for ride on ladies 2 wheelers. Prominent among this variety of irritants are jackpot CT100, sachins TVS victor, bajaj ads like ‘feel like god’ or the recent ‘hairy potter’ ads. They forget that bike riders ‘feel like dog’ in the city traffic, heat n dust. Potter fuelling his broom ..excuse me cut the crap or CK cuts ur ‘creative heads’ ;-)
7 Paste Ads: here also we have a billion ads that show a girl falling for a guy bcos of his paste & the remaining claim to be used by dentists.
Grr: tell me this: do smile from ur teeth, paste or from ur heart. The beauty of smile is its genuineness, coming from heart. If it’s a fake smile actually it hurts, strains facial muscles. Our admakers are happy showing a girl falling for a guy bcos someone else has a sound of bikes while laughing. Admakers, patli gali se nikal lo for CK will have the last laugh ;-)
8 Mens innerwears: includes all ads where girl falls for a guy bcos of his underwear or banian, the scandalous Hanes underwear.
Grr: the first night ad of hanes is only intended at scandalizing us. Take even the most roadside underwear u find on footpath, they have the tags at back. Also why wud the guy stand irritation the whole wedding reception? Also why does he make a fool of himself & also scare the bride- in any case he wud be removing the itchy underwear soon? If CK gets this admaker he will put 1000 red ants in his underwear & watch the comedy ;-)
9 Pad ads: includes all female pads & the huggies baby pad ad.
Grr: we all are educated & know what it is for. Then why make scandalous ads where viewers are made to think female hygene products. They show ladies attributing their success, activeness to it. I am also looking for that sadist admaker who makes us imagine a cute little baby sit on a cactus. CK party will make him sleep on cactus bed. ;-)
10 Health Drink ads: all ads of horlicks, complan etc including sachins boost
Grr: one of these ad says they divided a famed school students into two. One half was fed a certain drink. They did well in sports, studies etc & became taller, stronger & dumber. A boy who takes boost is firing fireballs playing tennis, I think we can send such boys to border in the event of war, we can save money spent on shells. I have seen a million kids who never had these but still excelled in everything.
Thanks 4 reading, coments welcome