Hey! This is one helluva topic. Gives me a chance to bring out the evil side of my personality and take potshots at one of Bollywood’s most revered and popular actor – Amitabh Bachchan (AB from now on).
What makes AB so well liked is the fact that apart from being an actor par excellence, he is also a great entertainer. Long ago, jumping jack Jeetendra had once said in an interview to a magazine, “Amitabh is the 1-10 of actors here. All of us begin from 11.” Attaboy Jeetu.
Come on, which actor apart from Amitabh has made audiences laugh, cry, smile, and dance with him. AB is the only actor who can make the most ridiculous scene appear perfectly sane. Remember his mirror-talk scene in Amar Akbar Anthony? That can drive anyone nuts. It is said that after shooting the above mentioned scene, Manmohan Desai had promised Amitabh that he would henceforth star in all his films. Manji kept his word and the duo delivered one super hit film after another like ‘Naseeb’, Suhaag’, etc. My list of favorite AB films goes something like this:
· Deewaar
· Shakti
· Sholay
· Amar Akbar Anthony
· Naseeb
· Kala Pathar
· Bemisal
· Anand
Oof! The list is endless. But, my dear friends, there is always an ‘other side to the coin’. If AB has been enthralling us for more than three decades, then this very man has given us plenty to mope about. I have carefully selected my list. Here goes.
“Lights! Camera! Action!”
Nastik
What a howler. An inane revenge saga. AB went through his motions here bleary-eyed without even thinking once about his loyal fans.
Mahaan
Triple AB in this senseless flick meant triple torture. AB was surprisingly very loud and crass. We know AB’s fixation for the other stalwart, Dilip Kumar, who triple starred in an equally bad movie called Bairag. ‘What Dilip Kumar can do, I can do worse, ’ seems to be his motto here.
Ganga Jamuna Saraswati
A gem of a terrible movie. Need I say anything more? One scene that still makes me double up uncontrollably with laughter is the one where a crocodile eats up the villain, Amrish ‘Mogambo’ Puri. Oof! It’s so funny. Amrish Puri has shoved his head inside the mouth of a plastic crocodile and shakes his body vigorously. Ha! Ha! Here I break into paroxysms of laughter again.
Mard
“Mard ko kabhi dard nahin hota”. My God! With lines such as these, Mard could easily fall into the list of all time terrible movies made in Bollywood. Here, Dara Singh (who plays AB’s father) stops an airplane with his bare hands, a tiger salutes AB’s mother … come one, does the audience deserve all this? But such was AB’s popularity those days that this film too was pretty successful at the box office.
Toofan
Ah! Manmohan Desai and AB at it again. For twenty-five years AB has been carrying a slate on which is written the details of his father’s killer. Even a painkiller cannot relieve you of the headache this movie inflicts on you.
Jadugar
If Prakash Mehra first gave AB Zanjeer, then he last gave him Jaadugar. A terrible boring tale of a magician who tries to save people from the clutches of a demi-god. YAWN!
Mrityudata
After Krantiveer, Mehul Kumar thought he was a great director. I believe so did AB. No wonder, he entrusted the (mis)director with Mrityudata, touted his comeback vehicle after a five year sabbatical. It spelt disaster for everyone associated with the flick – producer, director, stars, and above all the AUDIENCE.
Iman Dharam
An old AB fare that I saw a few weeks ago on television. Cliched, terrible, and predictable. Here he shared the (dis)honors with Shashi Kapoor. A hackneyed tale of two crooks who go on the reform path.
Andha Kanoon
“Yeh Andha Kanoon hai, ” AB keeps singing on the streets of Mumbai. Pathetic fare with AB hamming to his heart’s content.
Lal Badshah
Do you know why this one was called Lal Badshah. AB came to the mahurat of KC Bokadia’s untitled new venture wearing a red coat (URGH! Must have got it from chote miyan Govinda). Bokadia buddy saw AB and presto, a title was born. Lal Badshah was one of the most ridiculous movies ever made. I remember one scene which put me off AB for quite a while. An ageing, fifty-five plus AB is jogging and Silpa Shetty goes “Oooh!” on seeing him. Another vignette is the one where Manisha Koirala asks him, What do you think about marriage?” And AB goes something like this, “Marriage! I haven’t even thought about it”. I am sure this scene must been shot a day after AB’s daughter had made him a proud grandpa. After enduring this terrible movie, I was accosted by the thought – is AB going the Dev Anand way?
Other AB films that vie for a position in this top 10 are:
· Ganga Ki Saugandh
· Major Sahab
· Alaap
· Kohraam
· Gereftaar
· Laawaris (not that bad)
I asked myself, why in earth’s name was AB ever associated with such horrendous films that make for nightmarish viewing. The answer my dear friends can be found in an old English proverb:
“MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.”