I was eagerly anticipating this movie because I wanted to see Salman’s ’’comeback’’ film. I guess this would have been his 3rd comeback if you consider that Tumko Na Bhool Payenge (2001), and Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) were marketed as comeback films of the eternal Peter Pan of Bollywood, badboy Salman Khan. Salman suits the role quite well considering he’s a 38 year old playing a 19 year old college senior. He has aged well, unlike Akshay Kumar who’s also 38, but looks like he could play Salman’s dad. Acha...on with the story naa.
The first one hour and a half, we establish that Radhe (Salman Khan) is a college ruffian thug complete with motorcycle, a killer bod, and an annoying wig that grazes his eyes for that ’’Oooh...I’m such a bad boy! ’’ look. He intimidates people, and bullies the kids in his school. The only thing that Radhe has a soft spot for is Nirjara (Bhoomika). Nirjara is the vestal virgin, oozing with innocence with her makeup-free face. She comes from an orthodox Brahmin family & all she does is pray. Of course this intrigues Radhe so he relentlessly pursues her. Nirjara is not amused. She finds him intolerable, boorish, and totally malevolent in character. She shuns him as a loser & this is where the story sort of heats up.
Unable to take her rejection, Radhe plummets into depression so he starts beating everybody up. In one scene, Radhe & his homeboys walk into a brothel and start beating the pimps up. This man is nuts! But wait...he gets nuttier. Apparently, love made him crazy because the next stunt he did was kidnap Nirjara after her visit to the Mandir. He brings her to an abandoned warehouse and we see a terrified Nirjara wanting to escape. He pours his heart out & she finally relents and says ’’Yes, you are a nutjob and I better marry you or else I’m afraid what you’ll do to me & my family!’’ ...well she really didn’t say that but it’s what she should have been thinking but instead... She & Salman start breaking out in a pre-wedding song & dance. Just when you think the movie is about to end, Radhe is confronted by the pimp that he beat up (plus five other guys in kurtas and iron pipes ready for the kill). As the band of pimps were taking turns beating him to death, we see scenes where his head gets repeatedly bashed against a huge metal awning. At this point he should have been dead but nooo sireee...he is alive. Next shot, the hospital.
He get’s cat scanned & the doctor (this dude is from one of my fave serials on Zee TV, Vishwas) determines that he has permanent brain damage & should be sent to an insane asylum. Not just an ordinary asylum mind you, but a filthy, run down, psycho prison where the patients sleep in dirt and wear ball & chains. Honestly, this joint looked like a cross between Alcatraz & Auschwitz. It was like a Nazi death camp for crazy people and the warden was a big firang swamiji in orange robes complete with peacock feathers. Now this swamiji is not just a mere prison warden, he is a ’’healer’’. He chants over his patients, does puja on them, you name it. After all the pujas, plus the prayers from Nirjara, Radhe somehow magically lapses back into reality long enough to realize that ’’Hey, I really did have a life before I was sleeping in filth in a room full of smelly, crazy people!’’. He then plans an escape but his plan is foiled & he ends up with a huge bloody gash on his thigh. Second try, it works. He rushes through the forests & ends up at Nirjara’s house only to find her DEAD. Yep. She committed suicide & we didn’t even know. She went from getting fixed up as a bride, to finally lying on the floor garlanded with flowers as people gather & mourn around her. Radhe then goes to her dead body & balls out in tears (Yes, Salman...after almost 20 years in the business...you CAN finally act!). End of story...final credits roll in.
What went wrong: First hour & a half was unnecessary to the plot. So much time was wasted on gags that didn’t work. Dancing that was simply awful...and a gratuitous display of Mahima Choudahry’s navel. Why is this once talented actress reduced into a cheap item number bimbo? Poor thing. Next is Salman’s wig. It was atrocious. He couldn’t even dance properly for fear of that thing coming off. Salman’s friends , especially the guy that plays the part of Aslam. What a buffoon! His part was just plain annoying & totally unnecessary! And what can I say about Hindi film new comer Bhoomika? Honey, she ain’t pretty, sorry. I could not see anyone, let alone Sallu get so obsessed over her. Now if she was Diya Mirza, yeah I can see that. Bhoomika just lacked ’’oomph’’. Diya could have played this part better because she can do the innocent thing & yet still look beguiling. With Bhoomika, it’s not believable because she’s not beautiful. In fact, I shall rename her Boringka. Somehow Bhoomika doesn’t suit her. She was boring as hell & her dancing is nothing to write home about. In fact, neither is this film but I just wanted to warn you guys. BTW, I saw this at a firang theatre & there were two cackling gora girls that were annoying the hell out of me. I wanted to shut them up but this is what happens when you put bad movies in firang theatres expecting something else. Too bad Darna Mana Hain or Bhoot wasn’t playing there. Why, oh WHY did they even think of giving this crappy movie such a wide release? KYON????