I know you’re already thinking ’’all women cry over movies’’. It’s true I cry easily, sometimes I cry over a commercial. This movie did more than move me, it affected me deeply and left my brain in a whirlwind of thoughts. I started watching another movie last night (Fools Rush In), when I decided it wasn’t doing it for me. I did the guy thing and started to remote my way through my options. Not much on these days really. I stopped my search when I got to ’’The Prince of Tides’’.
I couldn’t remember what it was about but I did recall watching it before. The movie had already started but I decided to watch it anyways. The scenes moved back and forth in this man’s life (Nick Nolte), from growing up in his parent’s home, to his marriage and children, then back to the office of his sister’s shrink (Barbra Streisand). His twin sister had tried to commit suicide on a number of occasions and he had traveled to New York from a small town to aid the Doctor in helping in her recovery. This guy lived a very dysfunctional life. I thought my life was bad. His father was abusive, his mother was off the wall, leaving the three children a mess. They lacked material things, but they were poor mostly in love and values. Not unlike many children in this sad place we call our world. His mother staying with his father taught the children, TOLERANCE OF ABUSE.
As he talked to the Doctor he would have flashbacks. The one scene the family was sitting at the table and the father was angry about the supper. He was cruel. The mother offered to replace his dinner with something better. She went into the kitchen and with the help of the 2 youngest children, made the father a plate of rice, spices and dog food. The father ironically said the dish was an improvement and the children were taught REVENGE.
He also remembered a point in his life when his mother called him into her bedroom to tell him he was her favorite, the only smart one in the family and that it would be their secret. Years later he revealed his secret to his siblings feeling guilty of her favoritism, only to be laughed at because she had told each child the same thing, therefore being taught DECEIT.
At one point in the movie he went to see his mother. As he approached her home, he flashed back to being at that house before. His mother was making him go and apologize for hitting the son of a wealthy guy in the community. As they entered the house the man complimented the mother then took the boy into the study and hit him. He was told not to tell anyone about the incident. Therefore being taught INJUSTICE.
His mother married that man. The Doctor had asked him why his sister had tried to commit suicide, why his brother had died and why he was so irritated by her questions. His answers made me cry. He related the story of how 3 men entered their home one night. That one had raped his twin sister (age 13) and another raped his mother. The Doctor asked what did he do while this was happening. He was being raped by the third man. His brother watched from the outside of the front door. The scene ended with the oldest brother shooting 2 of the men with the father’s shot gun and the mother stabbing the third. The kids were told to clean up, bury the bodies and tell no one. Therefore they were taught the meaning of HIDING FAMILY SECRETS.
Towards the end of the movie he went fishing with his father and his 3 daughters. The father showed signs of mellowing with age, he was kinder towards the grandchildren. He seemed to tolerate his father more. Therefore teaching a form of FORGIVENESS WITHOUT CLOSURE.
I walked away from this movie with tears in my eyes. It made me realize how our actions to life’s problems ultimately mold our children. That when we avoid making healthy decisions, the lessons taught to our children can become disastrous. The mistakes we make may not be as bad or as plentiful as this movie relayed, yet make no mistake about it, they will affect our children. I lived a life of family secrets involving many of the things mentioned in this movie short of murder. There was abuse, my brother dying as a result of a troubled life and attempting suicide at a young age. I also carried many of my taught lessons over into my children’s lives. I’m just fortunate I did something about it, in order to stop the cycle before my children carried on the same mistakes. This movie had me crying during it and after. It made my brain stir with emotions. Maybe it was just too close to home....my childhood home.
This movie was directed by: Barbra Streisand and released in 1991. It is ’’R-rated’’ due to it’s explicit detail on the topic of abuse.