No news is good news. Don’t you agree? Remember, when Prince Siddhartha noticed 4 Signs, he asked his charioteer for explanations. Charioteer broke the news which ultimately led to Siddhartha’s departure and finally he attained the spiritual enlightenment. Oops! CONTRAPUNTO
As THEY SAID IT, News - a childish(tch tch) acronym of North, East, West & South- is some information that travels pretty fast in all directions. Some news gathers dust and get buried. Some accrete to other trivial matters to keep their pressure alive. Different equations of state! Thus, every morning you might find someone waiting outside your door, as fresh as a daisy, for you to grab and deflower it until it escapes you to reach recycle bin. You can be a thorough gentleman while quickly checking it out or a rowdy lady to crumple & crush it on a bed, or you can take it to loo or a coffee table. Actually, its none of my business who or what comes to your door every morning, but for me it has always been the same broadsheet daily - THE TIMES OF INDIA (Title sandwiched between 2-3 sentry like headshots to mark specific quotation) Indeed, terrific news items for just 5 Rs (inc. Extra Terrestrial- please spare me) Assuming all Indian literates read newspapers, TOI has a 0.55% penetration level, b(r)agging it the #1 spot in English Newspaper read(or just bought) in India. Not only offline, they exist online as well. 2 Mn Fans on FB..
I tell you, literally, this FB will eradicate illiteracy one day. We must include Facebook in school curriculum! Okay, illiteracy reminded me of something. I remember that I used to quickly (yeah, without reading) encircle alien words from Times Of India (TOI) and pilfer them to my vocabulary. Someone whom I looked up to for advice told me to read only Editorial (now, The Times Of Ideas) and then I climbed upon The Speaking Tree. No nonsense zone is Editorial ( Ads Free Zone) Editorials always have a back story “without which” even editors don’t make sense. Yab yab! Go back to Old Kent road, if you pass Go collect rupees 200.. Its a vicious circle, something like HEART CHAKRA. I tell you, I am in love with Pooja Bedi’s column or even rows if they cave in. Is it normal?
Usually, I take TOI for breakfast; sometimes I carry it for lunch too! However, I have no specific idea about its nutrition value but for sure if we sit together deconstructing it, it would start tasting like Woody Allen (Argh! Whatever Works in the name of metaphor) Now, don’t tell me that you never DIGESTed a newspaper. Chew it, spit it onto your hand to form a lump and throw it on a wall. GRAFFITI! The writing on the wall, with some impact.. Havells! What a taste..Beats down the taste of a pencil butt or a chalk or mud or say even a Plain Paper dosa! Bombay Times is like Full Masala Dosa. FOOD FOR THOUGHT, between the imprints, you are leaving your thumb impression. So, beware where your hands reach. Okay, jokes apart, TOI publishes some serious stuff too. TIMES TRIBUTE, my favourite section! No matter how far Voyagers will ever reach before their final call, TOI already moved heaven & earth to pay tribute to the departed souls. However, some voids can never be filled and accessed. They are called Black Holes! Speaking of science reminded me of him & something. I don’t know if someone will ever acknowledge or not the contribution of my dearest Kalam Sahab in the birth of newspapers but as a child, he used to help his cousin in delivering newspapers.
What I really admire in TOI is the selection & presentation of news. What I’ll never figure out is that how some particular news qualifies for page 1 and other settles for page 8 or 9. Despite its over-stuffed platter of advertisements, I love it . The day Dzire of India ad appeared, I know a revoltion has begun and absolutely loved it. Then one fine morning paper started vibrating and another morning, it was full of scent. An ad in today’s newspaper said it can be arranged to make music notes – I tried and shifted_ two news together. News now reads: Kejriwal accuses Khursheed of receiving advance taxes from Nehwal You call this some music? Uuuuunnn.... Ruk kyun gaye? Bajaao! Cheel cheel chilla ke Kejri sunaaye, ghoom ghoom Kauwaa bhi Dholak bajaaye..Arey wal-wal wah!
However, a little assortment would be appreciated. For the sake of stuffing newspaper with ads, news are either pushed or being adjusted. Don’t ask me like what. See, when there are murders, suicides and rape incidents every day, why there is no dedicated section or a separate page for these? Like the one dedicated to Politics, Classified, Editorial, Sports or Full-page Ads. If that page remains blank, we all will be more than happy. Sometimes I get shocked with the Times View stamps on some of the stories. Are those stories complete before TOI called out its verdict?
Mostly TOI lets everyone on their feet/toes. Laghu shankaa lag gayi? Hold onto that thought for a moment. Toilet likha dikha nahin aur Bus roko Bus roko.. Kidney donate kar di kya bey? Likewise TOI reports anything and everything to keep you informed. Name anything be it under Sports, Business, International, National, City, Filmcity.. Everything included in TOI. If its happening, its there! Well researched articles with deep insights. Sometimes research goes off track like the famous CID way. A girl committed suicide and sources say she was depressed. Abey Source ke Bacche, khushi khushi mein koi suicide karta hai kya?
Well, there is so much to write but brevity is key to escape. So, I’ll cut short and run. Contents are fine. Format needs some changes. Also, repetition of news, cartoon, and pictures is becoming more prevalent. CORRIGENDUM is being missed. If John Abraham opens an Linkedin account, he will not become Abraham Lincoln.. Yeh ERRATICA mein naa toh errata hai, naa erotica naa erratic, kya hai yeh? As if you will read.
Final words - TOI, you not only monitors economic progress, you are the backbone of our national social status too. We bank upon you. In the absence of you, statuses of lots of us (facebookly social elites) will go bankrupt. You are an indispensable thing and truly deserves a 5 Star but since ITC ads appear more regularly than that of Cadbury’s , all you can expect for sure is BINGO.. TOIng!!
P.S. Happy B’day Amitabh Bacchan Ji ;)
Beware TBC!....(Tum Banoge Karorpati nahin To Be Cont.)