Undoubtedly, the best days of my life, that won’t return wherever I may roam. After the initial rough phase passed away, hostel life was an roller-coaster ride of memorable moments day after day, month after month.
After junior college, I was sent for my four year graduation studies in an academic hamlet near Mangalore. Glad as I was to leave home and live independently, deep down I was uncertain about leaving a cushioned existence.
After but a few days in hostel I was wanted to flee back home. I don’t know when exactly things began to change, but within 2-3 months I was a well adjusted hostel-ite. I realized there itself how beneficial leaving home had been and now I absolutely recommend every student a tenure in hostel life.
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POSITIVE ASPECTS
Self-reliance
You learn to get the much-needed grip on your own life and stop depending on others for simple things, that are far too numerous to enlist (for eg: I can never understand 30 year olds depending on Mom or wife for their socks, handkerchiefs, ties etc.) Learning to live on your own without any family support, without an elder to guide you, makes you learn to take your own decisions, take care of your own things, and your own self.
Straightening of spoilt brats(yours truly included)
“If I don’t get what I want, I will threaten, emotionally blackmail, throw a tantrum or sulk for weeks together.”
Say goodbye to that attitude once you are in a hostel, and very fast. Spoilt brats are straightened with miraculous results within weeks. A tenure spent in hostels and they are more sober, level headed, reasonable. No mummy, no papa, to mollycoddle you. Just people your own age, and any elders around are either teachers or wardens. So think twice before kicking up a fuss, or you might just get kicked yourself. Hostel life builds a high level of maturity in a student.
Patience, Tolerance, People Management, Confidence
Learning to tolerate and live with people you don’t like forms an essential part of hostel life. Silly/offensive/ bossy/irritating/immensely boring people, pile-ons, everything, the entire gamut of personalities are all there under one roof and you have to live with them as a cohesive unit simply because you don’t have a choice.
Hostel life helps you get your way with people at an early age, develops you on qualities like patience, tolerance, diplomacy, friendliness, leadership, people management. In management school later, we noted that all those who had earlier lived in hostels were more confident, had better leadership and organizational qualities and scored higher in their HRD papers.
My hotel years threw me out of a cocooned life making me gain self-confidence.
Strength in times of adversity
At any time or the other, people who have spent time in hostels would have faced some grave difficulty or the other. Learning to handle them single-handedly instills stoic courage. Hostel life toughens everyone, makes a more person more practical, less flighty.
Managing finances
Convincing, pleading, begging, wild horses wouldn’t make my father increase the monthly money he fixed for me. Eventually, I had to accept to live with less money. And boy didn’t that straighten things out in life for me. Mess bills and other charges paid, we were left with a limited amount (The Marlboro smokers would be down to Sambhaji Bidis by the time it was month end) Not that we had to be miserly, but yes, smart with our expenditures. And being smart with finances helps anyone anywhere anytime, good to learn it as a teenager itself.
NEGATIVE ASPECTS
Uninhibited freedom
Have done a few wrong, even unlawful things myself, that on hindsight I sincerely wish I hadn’t done. Would never have done them had I not been in a hostel. Self-control and discipline though required, it’s too much of a tall order to ask from jumpy 17 year olds freshly away from home.
I scarcely see any other negative aspect of hostel life
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Tips to students on hostel life
1)Make friends, the more the merrier, there is no such thing in the world as too many friends. Classmates, seniors, juniors, guys n girls in my hostel and other blocks are all settled in different cities and towns, whenever I travel I make it a point to meet if possible and catch on with the each others’ latest. It’s very helpful to network and keep in touch.
Don’t mix with the wrong crowd. Rely on your instincts to recognize the wrong people. Keep a safe distance.
2)Maintain good relations with seniors, they help you in exams, the seniors who rag the most become the friendliest. Take ragging in a positive manner, as long as it does not cause physical harm. Have a rip-roaring time ragging juniors too, make them feel comfortable and befriend them.
3)Have a regular schedule, complete your lab work and journals in time to be away from the pre exam stress. It takes just half an hour to do it on the same day, don’t postpone this, after all that’s what you are in the hostel for.
4)Be careful of your possessions in the hostel, especially the expensive ones. Music systems, shoes, belts, perfumes can vanish in minutes.
5)Besides lectures, etc, get yourself involved in extra curricular activities like Hostel committee, Cultural committee, trekking, dramatics, sports. This is the best time to cultivate a hobby, adopt a sporting interest, which can round off your personality.
6)Join a local library, learn a new language. Or simply pick up the local language (although very predictably I learnt only the swear words)
7)Have a local guardian, see to it that you keep good relations with all your profs. They can be extremely nice and some can even be a parent like figure for you.
8)Maintain constant contact with your parents, and do not hesitate to share your difficulties with them. If you are uncomfortable discussing certain matters with parents, share your thoughts with a sibling or cousin, or whoever you are close to, its helpful.
9)Take an active part in inter-hostel contests, from inane personality contests, to cricket matches, to quiz shows etc, do them all, the more you participate the more people you know. The more you keep yourself occupied, and the lesser you miss home and the lesser the chances of going astray. Being involved in a number of activities helps you make a cross section of friends instead of just lazing in the hostel rooms smoking pot, or mixing around with the lot who only go on drinking binges from bar to bar.
10)Good health comes first. Maybe the mess food would be unacceptable, but have your fill always, and supplement your diet with milk, nuts and fruits. Life means being healthy. Remember, you need good health to conduct all those bodily functions you want to do during your hostel life (wink).
11)Strike good relations with juniors too. First of all because junior girls keep getting better as they come, and secondly who knows, god forbid you might get a KT (Supplementary exams. In rude terms: You flunked, you duffer!) and need to come back repeatedly to the hostel to re-appear for the exams. At that time, you need a room to stay and notes to study from. Get the notes from the junior girls you dated and stay in your junior buddies’ rooms.
12) Whatever you guys do, stay on the side of the law, and of course only safe sex.
Tips to parents continued in comments section....