It brings a nostalgic smile to remember those innocent childhood days, which were divided into two parts for me- days before I went to hostel & my hostel life. Being Pa’s lil darling, I was a real spoilt brat, having a terrible temper & screaming at everything if I didn’t like it. On the other side, was this quiet lil girl, seeking attention, care & a lil bit of love from anyone who could reach out to me.
Personally speaking, I did not have a very happy childhood. While my Pa adored me; being in the Government service, he never really had time for me. On the other hand, Mom never loved me at all; I guess cos I m a girl. Living in backward areas where girls were not allowed to come out of their house, I never had any girlfrens. My bros, being much elder to me, felt I was too kiddish, too girlish to be in their company. I tried my best to be a tomboy, playing football, climbing hills & trees, never crying even if I got badly hurt etc. But I guess being a tomboy doesn’t compensate for not being a real boy & I never earned Mom’s love. I would watch her pampering my bros, feeding them, loving them & I’d yearn for a single word of tenderness, just 1 morsel of food form her hands, just a single Goodnight kiss, just 1....
But it never came. Due to Pa’s constant transfers, my bros had already been sent to hostels & I was awaiting my turn- Sophia Convent, Mount Abu. Guess I’m among the lucky few who never felt homesick at going to a hostel. The day when every1 went to drop me at the hostel, around for.30 in the evening, I was 11 yrs old.
I could see children running around everywhere in yellow, red & green games uniform. My folks were handing me over to the warden while I was watching wide-eyed at all the activities around me. I guess I felt I was in heaven cos I just said to my folks ’’OK I’m going. Bye!’’ & ran off to join the other kids. No crying, no yelling, no cajoling for me. I fit in place immediately form the very 1st day.
Having a different look was both an advantage as well as a disadvantage. It was too easy to recognize me while it took me time to remember faces cos everyone seemed similar to me. But for them it was very easy to recognize & remember the chinky kid. Everyone wanted to be seen around with a different person & I was soon surrounded by many friends. The seniors would have a gala time with me, calling me in their group to entertain themselves & making a fool of me, but without any hard feelings. Innocent as I was, I never took anything to heart, just being happy getting a lot of attention & glowing in it.
When I started my hostel life, I was just another kid without any speciality or confidence in myself; like clay waiting to be moulded & given proper shape. Those are the most vulnerable years of a person.
Fortunately, I always liked challenges; sometimes to the point of stupidity, wanting to prove that there is nothing that I cant do. So every comment that was given, I tried to work out on it & turn it into the best I could B, instead of brooding over it or hiding. I can proudly say that, in my last year, I was nominated for All-Rounder award though I lost it to sum1 better. But I have no regrets cos my gr8st achievement was turning form an ugly duckling into a swan & I loved every single experience- good & bad.
Hostel life doesn’t have the same influence on each & every person. It all depends on how each individual takes the beating & the pampering. It is a place where children of all communities come together; we had girls coming form all over India as well as form the US, Africa, Iraq & even Yugoslavia. Each child has a different story to tell, varied experiences & U gather a lot of new verbal knowledge about life in other parts of the world. It’s like a mini-world where it’s upto U to polish Ur instincts & develop Urself as a person. It’s a world where U can learn form Ur mistakes without paying too heavy a penalty. A secure world which allows the child in U to come out & at the same time, teach U to mature slowly, with experience & age.
Discipline holds priority in hostel life. Each activity is timed & if U r a slow coach, U r in for punishment which was very constructive in our hostel. If any1 was late, she had to copy all the words & their meanings of an alphabet form the English dictionary, which really helped in building up the vocabulary. Every girl had to partake in at least 1 game; there were regular in-house competitions & extra-curricular activities such as painting, singing, dancing, dramatics, debates, writing & so on. In our final year, we were given special classes to prepare us to face the real outside world; going into meditation & introspection, a general over view on sex-education & the purity & beauty of sex at the right place, right time & with the right person. Everything was placed bfor us in a very beautiful & positive manner. We were taught that it’s human nature to get attracted to the opposite sex & nothing shameful. It made me very open minded about everything in life.
Sensitivity with toppings of practicality is another character I learnt. Each individual is unique having their own strengths & weaknesses, experiences & fears.... Therefore, no to individuals can B treated in the same manner. Behind a stern face may lie a heart as soft as cotton. In my case too, I was known as a crank. fortunately, I was treated with the right approach & today I’m a very confident person, able to share my experiences with all of U & exude positivity to those around me. Watever I m today, is a result of my parent’s sacrifice to send me to an excellent hostel & whatever convent life has given me. It’s true that hostel life takes U away form the family for most part of the year. But again, if U take it positively, it makes U appreciate family life more when U get to B with them. It gives U an understanding not to take Ur family for granted. today I m able to c what my Pa did for me. I used to grumble that I never had enough pocket money like my other friends to spend on things I wanted. The day I realized that Pa wud eat just 1 meal a day & that too just a simple meal of rice & dal, & he had just 3 sets of clothes while I wud keep asking for new clothes all the time, it made me cry. He loves me so much that he was ready to sacrifice eating his favorite food or having an entire wardrobe, just so that I may have a brilliant future. Though I may not say it often ’’Love U Pa! I’ll always B Ur lil girl!’’
When I look back on all those years of my hostel life, I remember with a sad smile on my lips & a happy tear in my eye, all the grumblings about everything & miss them.today, I’m a successful professional, a step ahead of my colleagues; fondly called Lady Hitler & Jhansi ki Rani, while at the same time approached by colleagues & customers for any help they need. When asked what’s the secret of my positivity & energy that I exude, my ever smiling face & my childish open laughter, I proudly say; my parents & my hostel life to whom I truly owe whatever I am today.
In a package, I’d say hostel life is the best Ur family can give U to try to make U into an independent, sensitive, practical, out-going, honest, trustworthy, successful all-rounder. But what U choose to learn & become is what U give back to Ur family, Ur hostel & the world in general. Nobody really makes or breaks anyone. It’s we ourselves who choose to be made or broken. Hostels provide a means to a successful & beautiful life, but it is entirely on every individual which path he/she chooses to walk on. But I’d suggest any1 considering hostel life, to choose the correct hostel & right attitude. U have just 1 life so U better do it right the 1st time cos life never gives a second chance. So