If you have been recently married I may give you certain advices to keep your family life full of peace, harmony, romance and well being.The conditions become different for those who had love m, arriage vs those who had arranged marriages.Marriage, whether arranged or love, is a union of two minds, Souls and bodies.
Marriage in India, specially Hindu Marriages, are considered as a sacred bpnd and you are expected to this bond in tact to your last breath. In case os Moslem and Christian maariages in India, I think the life partners do try to keep the marriage going unless extraordinasry impulsive decisions break this bond,
In normal cases of marriage there are at least six parties involved.
The Bride and 2, The Bride Groom
Mother and 4. Fayher of the Bride
Mother and 6. Father of the Bridegroom
For ideal marriage all these six parties should feel happy and satisfied with the proceedings before, ast the time and after the time of solemnization of marriage.For good marriage at least 4 of these parties must feel happy and contented about the marriage. If there had been peace and festivity at the time of martriage tyhe 50% of the battke is won. The rest 50% depernds on the 1st year of marriage and specialkly the first two months.Following points must be remembered if you want a peaceful, harmonious married life.:
HUSBAND SIDE:
Introduce your wife to the house so that she knows the rooms of other family members, kitchen, toilet, pooja room and other sections of the house. This way she will not be accused of disturbing otherr members and navigate herself freely.
Introduce all the members of the house hold disclosing their relationships with you(in person) and update her on about their likes and dislikes, their food habits and preferences(in the privacy of ur room)
Updaste your wife specially about the prefetrences of your parents so that they do not unknowingly offend them. So also natiure and habits about other elder members and their wives.be told to your wife.
Brief your wife about your bossom friends so that she knows how to treat them on their visits.
Brief your wife about your office, your work, status, names of persons higher in position than you and your favourite collegues.
Tell her your own likes and dilikes, food and dress prefetrences, your rising and sleeping schedules, your favourite local visiting spots.
Brief your wife about your financial condition9keep it lower than what you actually have) so that she does not get over ambititious and over spending
Do not boost of your ideals about life.in early atages of your masrried life. Let her learn it fgradually.
Ask your wife about her likes and dislikes and her preferences. Do not be tense if she tells something which is surprising. to yopu.
Praise her beauty, dress, her creative actions and refrain from pointing out her shortfalls. If you do not like something about her do not be blunt and insulting.Try to make her realize about her faults and shortfalls one by one keeping some days interrval betweeen such courses. You can fabricate a story about some lady of some lady having the shortfalls(tha you want to remove from ur wife’s nature), telkling her that such habits created lot of problems and that you will try tyo avouid such situations.
11.Never try to compare your wife with any other lady.
12, Never shout or find fault with your wife or insult or rebuke her in presence of others.
Ensure that when both of you talk, there are nio discussions or debating or counter arguments among you two.and your voice should not be audible to others specially your elders.
When you feel your talks are getting hot, hotter change the topic.
Wives dislike anything spoken badly about her parents/home/finances/brothers’sistetrs’kith and kins(if she disliked anything or anybody at her parental home she will herself confide in you. But do not contradict or support her and appear as if you are not much interested in such trivil details.
16.Do not forget to entetrtain herr by visiting thetres, resturanys, picnick dpots at intervals so that she can speak her mind to you freely when you ae out of home and out of site of your family members
17.Always see to it that you do not pass any remarks abouit the events at marriage time, arrangements, gifts, guests, decorations, food, service etc .These remarks will never be forgotten by her and in turn she will start telling shortfalls on your side.
Never forget to invite your in-laws at the time of festivals/functions at your home.
Make a memory about the birth dates of important family members on your in-laws’s side. Always call and wishon those days. If invited try to attend.
The wives these days believe that husband must share some of her responsibilities.If possible do not dis-arrange things/decorations/articles in your room and try to keep your room tidy. Do not throw your shoes, tie, clothes etc here and there and then ask her to fetch them for you.
Always ensure that you give her some cash for her purse so that she does not have to ask you or ur elders for her personl purchases.This amount shall differ according to your status. rank, financial position and income.It should also be kept in mind thast she does not have cash which may make her a over-spender.
Your wife must also be having her own friends. If your social and family traditionsd permit you shouild not object if she calls/invites her friends or wishes to visit them. When you are in company of her friends always be well dressed and well behaved.
On festivals of Nationl Celebrations like Diwali, Holi, Dussera, Karva Chauth, or such like ocassions take your wife along to market and let her have dresses of her choice. But here also you should try to help her in selecting the right choice. By telling your choice you can save your money as well if you gfind she is going out of youir bidget,
24. YOU MUST NEVER TAKE LOANS FROM ANY SOURCE TO FULFILL THE DEMANDS OF YOUR WIFE.This is the cardinal rule to remain happy in life. In financial crisis do not hesitate to cut down your luxury items . But never go for a loan.
The Wife should also follow the lines given for the husband.
There can be lot which can be written on this issue. But if these guidelines are kept in mind during the early years of marriage, the foundation so laid would be quite stronfg for the married life to progress.