Tum Bin Jaoon Kahan

Welcome To Aroona-Land!

Aroonaland is a world full of mysterious re-incarnations, willful re-births, tragic accidents, despicable deaths. A land where life banks on hawans and associated rituals, where cosmetic surgeries are an hourly occurrence, a plethora of face-changes/ face switches/ body changes/ mind changes/ persona changes take place with dizzying alacrity, plotting-conniving-dhokhebaazis-shadyantraas galore, lost loves, gained loves, love regained momentarily only to be lost yet again, forsaken loves, unsatisfied loves (aha), pining loves, etc. A realm wherein abnormality is the norm, lack of sankaars are lamented on, melodrama pervades, tears fall at the drop of a pallu, where conducting the planchette to summon spirits is as normal as reading the newspaper, expert advise is sought from serio-comic, cascading bearded tantrik babas on every inane matter (like when should I shitt next and how), and endemic disorder rules.

All this and much more in the soap opera that successfully ousts Des Mein Nikla Hoga Chand itself, the ‘hold-your-head-in-disbelief-while-you-goggle-your-eyes’, the unspeakably horrendous, the tormentingly calamitous, intertwiningly circuitous, ..... TUM BIN JAOON KAHAN

As is story

Our weekly journey to Aroonaland commences with the characters unfolding amidst deafening tabla beats that go “Dhom ta na na na na…” and all of them moving STRICTLY in slow motion only.

Hark back to a time when the enchantingly beautiful Muskaan lived with 3 sisters and their mamta se bharpur maatashri Aroona Irani. There was also a prince called Aryan who studies medicine about which we come to know only weeks later. And a Guruji too, the only one in the whole world making predictions with pressing deadlines like ’’agle saath din mein yeh hoga’’, ’’agle teen ghante main woh hoga’’, ’’agle do mahine mein gaay bhainsa banega’’, whichever suits fine.

Short break – As a counter attack to Guruji, there is also a Guruma. Both lost in translation over paranormal events, both announcing demanding, yet conflicting deadlines to whomsoever half cares to listen – excerpts –

Guruji: Durga ki shaadi agle 3 din mein ho jaani chahiye

Guruma: Durga agar 5 baje tak ghar mein kadam na rakhi to uski shaadi nahi hogi

Thank you – we love you, please continue reading.

So then, Muskaan and Aryan (We hope you are still with us and haven’t lost track) fall in love. Fatefully, the day Aryan is supposed to meet Muskaan’s parents, he has to fly away to London, coz his repulsive father has a heart attack! Another Jealous Jalebi who had the hots for Aryan plays dirty and implants poisonous thoughts in Muskaan’s mind that Aryan went away to MARRY in London. (Musku & Aaroo both have mobiles but it never occurs to either of them to use them – obviously)

Enter Guruji! He insists that Muskaan gets married in 7 days or else “billi bhaunkne lagegi, kuttein udhne lagenge” - so parents find a guy and fix a double marriage (with her sister too on the same day). A shattered heartbroken Muskaan agrees to marry!

As usual, on the day of marriage, Aryan turns up, lovers reunite after a lot of generalized brouhaha. They elope on a bike in the rain while singing hideous songs of selfless love. Lo and behold, they get hit by a truck! Muskaan dies and poor Aryan survives.

A distraught Aryan starts calling Muskaan’s ghost with the planchette. He calls her again and again, so she gets fed up and decides to take a rebirth. She tells him the venue and location of her re-birth, but he can’t reach there somehow. Anyway, the Muskaan Reloaded, takes birth, she is named - Khushi - a synonym for Muskaan!

Khushi is a child of 3 years with great powers, she can foresee events and hatch evil plans to keep Aryan single and available for her until posterity. Aryan gets hooked up to Swetha, and when he decides to marry her, the Muskaan-bhootni-Khushi kills her! So Aryan goes into depression again.

Once again Guruji, who now knows that Khushi = Muskaan, announces that Aryan must get married off else “ladkiyon ki moonchen niklengi, ladke ganje rahenge” blah blah.

Oh, then there is Durga too.

Guruji – Durga will save Aryan from badness of the world.

Guruma – Durga will get killed.

Aryan marries Durga. Durga incidentally meets with an accident and is assumed killed, much to the pleasure of Khushi. But as it always happens in Aroona Land, Durga one day lands up at Aryan’s place with a new face, body and voice claiming to have survived the crash and undergone plastic surgery!

Khushi, in the meanwhile, is unaware of new avtaared Durga, and blissfully spending time in a remote convent. She is all 9 years old now, encountering paranormals - ranging from little boy ghosts to senior citizen souls, at every step and every episode. But as destiny would have it, she misses a face-to-face encounter with Aryan at Omkareshwar – The Promised Land, only by inches (and 8 episodes).

After some more bizarre happenings and avenging, Khushi’s family immigrates to Australia. Then, in a span of 2 episodes, Khushi returns back to India on a project assignment, all of 18 years old. And the slow motion turning around sickness and hit & miss encounters with Aryan continues.

Any guesses ahead?

As will be story

Khushi is 60 years old. Her curly tresses are a tinge grey yet her memories of her 2 births are intact. Even now, she walks in a stupor with di din ta na na music ringing in her ears and the quest for Aryan is still on. Aryan is aged 100 and has a pair of spectacles to indicate that. Guruji, who graduated from peppered mane to fully white locks, is ageless and deathless. So are Guruma and Maatashri.

One fine fateful day, Aryan finally manages to meet Khushi.. and.. But alas, that is the day Khushi departed to her heavenly abode. So, Aryan goes back to his depression & planchettes. Aryan dreams of Muskaan who again gives him the venue and date of birth for her second avtaar, this time as “Santoshi – Muskaan Revolutions”. Aryan however forgets his hearing aid while writing down the address of the hospital where Santoshi is to be born, and hence is unable to reach there. So now Santoshi…

And so the saga continues for 7 janams in Aroonaland….

For more, please watch Tum Bin Jaoon Kahan on Zee TV.

PS: This review is a combined effort from 3 restless souls that are hell bent on inflicting upon themselves an eternal curse of watching all Aroona Land wonders in awe, and who respond to the names of Prem, Suyog and RJ