Subject The 20 worst English songs
Intro Oh was this hard. With so much trash to choose from I had a field day. I hope my list invokes the spirit of the moment. If you’re lucky, some of these you will have never heard of. I was not so fortunate and in many cases had to suffer through hours of hearing these disasters. Anyway, here is my list in reverse order for suspense.
The Worst 20
20) My Melody Of Love - Bobby Vinton It was bad enough when he sung in English, but when he started with the Polish that’s when the gag reflex kicked in.
19) Brother Louie - Stories’Louie, Louie, Louie Louie Louie Lou EYE’ Number 1 for 6 weeks I almost broke my radio. This group actually had a good song that didn’t make it.
18) Do Ya Think I’m Sexy - Rod Stewart’If you want my body and you think I’m sexy’. No, and no. Awful!
17) You Should Be Dancin - Bee Gees’You should be dancin, YEAH’ Ever hear mice getting fried? This is what it sounds like. Oh and then the great line’Won’t you do it in your bed on your back’ Take me now.
16) Jingle Bells - The Barking Dogs No words can describe this horror. And they don’t even sound like real dogs.
15) My Ding A Ling - Chuck Berry How this ever made it passed the censors is beyond me. Sadly, his only number 1.
14) Old Rivers - Walter Brennan He can’t sing and thank goodness he doesn’t, but someone forgot to tell him he can’t speak either. I crack up every time I hear this.
13) Me And Mrs Jones - Billy Paul’Me E a-and Mrs Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones Mrs Jones Mrs Jones.’ Another one that cracked me up when I heard it. Thank goodness they don’t play this anymore.
12) The Night Chicago Died - Paper Lace If Chicago died then this is the song that killed it.
11) Funky Worm - Ohio Players’He’s the funkiest worm in the world’(as said by the old lady). He may be, but this song is still crap.
10) I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing - Hillside Singers It was an okay commercial, but my God did they have to make it into a song? They didn’t even know what to substitute for coke in the tune so they sung something I still can’t figure out.
9) Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A Lot He may like big butts, but this song has no buts about it, it’s awful.
8) Disco Duck - Rick Dees and His Cast Of Idiots Great Donald Duck impersonation but the song still sucks. I guess the name of the group says it all.
7) Hooked On A Feeling - Blue Swede’Ooga chaka’ Nough said.
6) Jungle Fever - The Chakachas Want to know how bad this song is? The girl sounds like she’s having an orgasm on the record. Thirty two years ago and still can’t forget it.
5) Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - Mac and Katie Kissoon The title should say it all.’Ooowee.chirpy chirpy cheep cheep.’ Now THAT’S profound.
4) They’re Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha - Napolean XIV They should have, long before he EVER made this record. Was banned because the nuts in the institutions complained so much.
3) Why Don’t We Do It In The Road - The Beatles Another one where the title says it all.
2) Let Em In - Paul McCartney’Someone’s knockin on the door, somebody’s ringin the bell.Someone’s knockin on the door, somebody’s ringin the bell.Do me a favor.Open the door and let em in.’ Oh Paul(sigh)
And the All Time CHAMP
1) Tip Toe Through The Tulips - Tiny Tim Someone should have taken that ukulele and smashed it over his head. Maybe that would have gotten his voice down a few octaves.
Hope you enjoyed:)