Blessed be the soul who augmented the concept of songs(’melodious communication’ should I say?). That today MUSIC(the bigger umbrella) has become a multi multi billion dollar industry globally, bears testimony to the universal appeal Music commands; which lacerates geographical boundaries in terms of culture & languages. It is but natural that in this astronomical sphere, many would have tried their luck, few would have been wiped out, few on the verge of getting the kick, few would have consistently succeeded, and a few despite being largely successful would have contributed some of the yuckiest songs. This review is a special tribute to all those guys in the last category who punctured our ears the wrong way.
The Vegetable Song
Love is Blind. Blind maps to’not seen’, thereby mapping to’Hidden’. When you think of’Hide’, you think of’Underground’. Isnt it an amazing link from Love to Underground! No? But thats exactly what Anu Malik perceived. He connected love to an Underground vegetable - Alu and in an instant Anu Malik & Hasrat Jaipuri churned out ’Jab tak rahega samose mein Alu’ . In a way good that Anu Malik didn’t catch fancy with any wild animals, otherwise the song could well have been Jab tak rahega jungle mein balu . Other version could be’jab tak rehega bihar mein lalu’. See what the song has done to me .$#^&
Summer of 26
There are occasions when you want to express your undying love to your beloved, but words fail you. For those’dumb and dumber’ lovers, Ram Lakshman presents the dumbest song. ’ABCDEF.XYZ I Love you’. This alternatively can also be sung if your beloved unfortunately has a IQ less than a donkey(assuming you’re a genius). Either situation being true, this 26 alphabet song is your rescue pill. The highlight of this song being that it doesn’t put intelligence to test, doesn’t force u to commit stupid emotional promises. Cool Dumb Song.(the last I heard was about a couple searching for a 5 vowel song, since its easy to remember. Sigh!)
Blood on the Love Floor
While there are a few environmentalists and a few speechless wonders, there are few daring enthusiasts who don’t mince words when it comes to declaring their love. Sameer proposes a I Love You Bol Dal and he is confident that’Haseena Maan Jayegi’. This daringly yucky song is recommended only for the daredevils who can sing such a verbose song with total Determination & Confidence.
Mysterious Number
Desperation often is an emotion when you are in love. You itch, twitch, irk, shirk . the list is endless. This normally happens when you fail to establish contact with your beloved. A prescription for you: First get the contact number of your beloved and then his/her name. A song? Yeah! you get that too. ’What is your Mobile Number’ . The song goes on to ask for ’Style number’ (?). When you actually sing this, pls be specific about which style number you are referring to, lest your girl friend get furious over ur inquisitiveness.
Im still, Im still . Maina from the Block
There was a song’tota maine ki kahani . purani hogayi’. Looks like Anand Milind turned a deaf ear to that. He & Sameer churned out yet another epileptic song ’Tota mera Tota, main tho teri hogayi’ with the hero responding’Maina meri maina, main tho tera hogaya’. And to imagine the Tota is Chiranjeevi, dancing like 2 fractured legs recently joined below a belly just short of the circumference of the earth…. Give me a break!
I dont really care about them
How are you supposed to react when some one sings’teri nani mari tho main kya karun’? Well Govinda & Karishma, supported by lewd music & lyrics(Courtsey: Anand Milind & Sameer) actually danced to this song. According to their logic you should be eating Bhel puri, taking your girl friend out; irrespective of whether someone is alive or dead. A song with a theme much ahead in time in terms of content & perspective, but currently a miserable flop! This also saw Anand Milind moving from Bad to Worse.
Hey Sonpapdi Lady - Shabby
Anand Milind sure got wind of’Tota-Maina’ and their dilapidated song years back in Aaj Ka Arjun. With Aunty No. 1, they attempt a even more remorse cliché “Sonpapdi mere Sonpapdi” to which the heroine responds’Son Halwe mere Son Halwe’. Not to mention the threnody also continues with the heroine singing’Mere hoton ka ras chak le’(probably after eating sonpapdi). This song marked Anand Milind moving from Worse to Worst. Methinks, either Anand Milind or Sameer would have spent their initial years(before they got the BIG BREAK) in a Brijwasi shop.
Lets get Shocked
Politicians often adopt a barter system for the well being of their states. Be it the water from Cauvery or Power from MP. Love is no different to them. As if to cater to this Political segment comes the daring promise ’ek chumme mujhko udhar de de, badle mein UP Bihar le le’. Does Lalu dear know whats cooking behind his back? No wonder our States are bankrupt with these kind of’Exchange rates’ going on and our music industry stripped of sanity!
Another Day in Chowpatty
Baba Sehgal! Wot? You started laughing already? Well, the likes of him too enjoyed a stint in playback singing & donning the gloves of a hero. Somebody would have let the dogs out, when the Director decided to sign a hero for his film. With a stranger than Fiction haircut, his songs normally have less of’S R G M P D S’ and more of’Ba ba bray bray bray.’. Therefore, not surprising was one more from his stable ’Aaja mera gadi mein baitja’. With that kind of a haircut and song, only Sheeba could have sat on his car. Deserves every bit of that, for such a crappy song!
The all time Crappiest Artist and his Albums award however goes to Devang Patel .With repulsive looks, even more repulsive lyrics, he dares to actually sing those songs, get them sponsored, does a choreography, and sell those albums. Bravo! This also qualifies you for the ’Black or White’ Bravery Award . This is one guy who needs to be banned immediately. Plz!