Take one portion of Count Dracula, add some pretty decent acting, take three portions of dracula’s consorts, add 3 good figures, and a very healthy portion of bad acting.
While bringing this to a boil, take one portion of frankenstein, two portions of wolf and add one guy and a girl, both super efficient, with razor sharp instincts and aim.
While bringing all the above to a simmer, add lots of special effects and a healthy portion of BALONEY!!!
The last ingredient sort of sums up the movie for me.
’’Van Helsing’’ is a wild, garish ride replete that is, to put it in one word, HORRIFYING, not the characters, but the movie
Itself.
Despite the great special effects that make for a fun, dark adventure, a convoluted and overdone conclusion totally kills the
Movie.
Pros:
Great special effects
Some good performances
Cons:
Convoluted plot
Terrible ending
Duuuhhhhh? what was that??
This season’s first action-adventure film arrived in the fantastically grotesque form of Van Helsing. The story begins in the black-and-white lab of Dr. Frankenstein, complete with groaning monster (Shuler Hensley) and torch-wielding mob banging on
The door. This classic scenario soon transforms into a thrill ride of amazing special effects albeit irritating continual.
Action sequences.
We are introduced to the figure of Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) as he walks the eerily dark streets of 19th-century
Paris, hunting his latest prey.
Though I should say here, he was very good as Wolverine in X Men, and should have maybe even made X Men -3.
At the request of a secret organization affiliated with the Catholic Church, Van Helsing seeks out and defeats evil throughout the world. Both outlaw and savior, Van Helsing searches throughout the film to understand his past, as he has no memory of who he once was.
This fact remains even after the ending of the movie.... I mean WHO THE HELL WAS HE!!!????
He is sent to the shadowy world of Transylvania, ruled by the undefeatable vampire Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh).
Roxburgh?s portrayal of Dracula cannot hold a candle to previous, far more charismatic and captivating renditions of the seductive and deadly creature. His alluring, bloodthirsty brides convey more of the magnetic power and physical presence of the vampire than does Dracula himself.
Van Helsing teams up with gypsy princess Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), the only heir - after her brother?s transformation into the Wolfman (Will Kemp) - of a family committed to hunting down Dracula and destroying him.
I actually read somewhere that Van Helsing is a swashbuckling adventure, and sort of like Indiana Jones among demonic creatures. Even comparison to a film of the Classic Transylvanian genre.
I apologise profusely for the person who actually wrote that!
Even those seeking any sense of the erotic side of vampire lore should look elsewhere; the vampires here just provide backdrop evildoers bent on destroying humanity. Underlying all the crying and shouting and ’’evil’’-fighting is a wacky sense of humor, reminiscent of Young Frankenstein, that reeks of pastiche.
In a terribly morbid action-adventure theme, Van Helsing has a miracle weapon-designing sidekick, Carl, played charmingly by David Wenham, who actually played the ’’Good Son’’ Faramir in LOTR.
The dialogue is mainly fluffy and trite to say the least, with a few pithy comments here and there.
In an attempt to combine all the major characters from the Transylvanian genre into one movie, the resulting plot is hair brained and convoluted to say the least.
Frankenstein plays a bit of a surprising role, being the key to Dracula?s plans to create life among his unborn, bat-like vampire children, previously resting in gooey cocoons.
The conclusion of the movie was especially hokey. Although the film itself was merely a fun, garish ride, the conclusion was still too overdone and unsatisfying.
To actually sum up the entire movie, its a headache providing, pain in the back side horrible flick.
if you actually want to see why I hate this movie so much, please dont tell me I did’nt warn you.
Adios!