I’m not talking about the gender confusion caused by dressing a man in Catwoman’s dress in the so-called’Indias First Super-Hero’ movie. Or the legendary Puneet Issar starrer which plonked instead of flying like it’s hero. Or about the Bollywood superhero Mithunda who deserves his own review on the subject; how he split a bullet in two by throwing a knife thereby killing 2 villains with half-bullets.
While much bandwith has been wasted on the inhuman feats performed by Mithun and Rajanikanth, not enough bytes have been wasted on their baap, Vijaykanth, whose feats defy every defined law of Logic, Physics, Biology, Mathematics etc. Al beit a sensation of YouTube rocking the International arena, not much has been written about him on MS(except a gem of a review on’Captain Planet’)
So Dude decides to, show some Daya on you, and throw light on this Tamil movie wonder - Captain Vijaykanth, Indias answer to Uncle Sam’s defender Captain America.
*Turning The Tables
Electricity, Alternating Current(AC) or Current as it’s only called in India has been used to torture human beings, since the time it got invented by Tesla. Imagine all the hapless dead crows hanging from high-tension wires. Our hero decides to turn the table by giving’Electric Shock’ to’Electric Current’ itself!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6EKHebxZOJY
Nobel Prize for Innovation In Heart Surgery
Electricity takes it revenge during a crucial Open-heart surgergy being performed by Dr. Vijaykanth. But does our saviour depair. No, siree. Our innovative hero completes the surgery using light emitted by mobile phones carried into the Operation Theatre by the assisting staff.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1UYDpxZNftI
[ Panchew daaktar. Make sure you’re carrying the mobile into the OT next time. Never know, it may come in handy]
*Bill Gates Award for Excellence in Window Media Player
While the British spy James Bond struggles with arcane stuff like GPS, ultrasound, laser to catch the baddies, Captain does one-up on him by using Windows Media Player to catch International Criminals.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jLYR0iJnjAM
*Fiery Captain
While Rajanikanth needs Guns to light cigarette, Captain doesn’t suffer from reliance on such mundane props. He can light cigarettes with his blood! Because as he claims -’There is Fire in my Blood’
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8OKE1pUnkoQ
Newton Shrivelled
By now Sir Issac Newton(s soul) is used to seeing the law of Gravity being torn to shreds by the feats Mithunda, Rajanikant et al. But even he wasn’t prepared for this googly by Captain. Forget defying gravity himself, which Captain does causually like drinking a cup of coffee, Captain makes animate and inanimate objects break gravity.
If you are the henchman of a baddie, do not take on Captain below a streetlight
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pxFEFj6WUxY
Captain makes the sickle thrown by his mother hang in mid-air for a few minutes before leisurely picking it
https://youtube.com/watch?v=o7okX3A7ogE
Captain makes his sun-glasses play havoc with puny gavity
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Dd9OfHODA-w
Newton Redeemed
Captain being a good-hearted superhuman does a recompense to Newton by proving his Third Law of Motion [ After all Newton wasn’t a quack, you know]. Villain fires bullet at Vijaykanth. Bullet hits Vijayakanth. Bullet bounces back and kills the villain. For every action there is an equal and hilarious reaction. Simple
https://youtube.com/watch?v=BnfXQyQNrs0
*Conclusion
If you managed to reach so far, without falling off the chair and breaking your spine, repeat with me.
THERE IS ONLY ONE REAL HERO. HE IS CAPTAIN VIJAYKANTH
=== finito ===