- This review is a work of fiction which contains account of conversations with some Msians. It is advised not to take them seriously
Year 2030
The world has changed(for good. don’t know). And with all that has changed so has the Internet. Now with machines like those in Matrix, Earthlings can login and enter the’Internetrix’ where they can interact with each other in virtual world. As usual Mouthshut was not left behind and the MS has his own section in this world. Our story begins when a very unpopular MSian by the name of Rohit Dewal is just logging in.
Rohit Dewal(Voice Over):It began as every other login but gradually I started suspecting something strange. My profile chamber was unusually quiet. As I started searching for any new comments(threats), I thought I heard something. The Billboard, which displayed my huge distrust list, was shaking. In these last 25 yrs the list of people who distrusted Rohit Dewal on Mouthshut grew like the popularity of Mouthshut. In short I was almost distrusted by everyone. But yes I had my share of guardians too. Suddenly the board crashed and a mob(very determined, gruesome and extremely irritated MOB) started making a run towards my direction.
Mob: Get him before he runs. Don’t let him logout.
Rohit(mumbling): but what. er what happened . listen guys. wait.hey hey hey .
RohitDewal(V.O.) and before I could stammer more like Shahrukh Khan I heard a voice from the crowd
MSian#1: He writes absolute trash, its a headache. Its time we threw him out.
Msian#2: His revus suck up my creativity. And those revus are real pain in the , where he thinks he is e.e. cummings and stops using Punctuations. OMG
Msian#3: Why waste time guys. just nail him. a philosophical trash.
Rohit: Look guys I promise. I promise I won’t. write.
Rohit dewal(Voice over) But then I realized the threat was very imminent and just entered into a random profile on my trust list.
and zap I was gone
And Lo I find myself in The profile chamber of Pranavi. .
Pranavi: LOlzzzzzzzzz How r u? U look Terrified?
Rohit: Hi Pranavi Ol’Gal, You wont believe what happened, all of MS is after me, they want to kick me out, Can u believe it? They say I am an atrocious writer.
Pranavi: Ya I can believe it. I mean you write Ok and I love to comment on it first always. But strictly speaking, Are u not too philosophical and preaching?
Rohit: But I can’t help it.
Pranavi: And they can’t help kicking u out. Try to write with some difference and choose varied topics like me. I guess u better ask Nikamma abt it. He would be able to elaborate more. Moreover I think I am going for a walk as it is going to rain.(Haven’t U read my Profile?).
And like that she was gone. Now I had to find someone fast before those guys found me.
Rohit: Ok I will go look for that . Nikkamma. Raaaaaaaj.*
- RohitDewal(Voiceover) And I was in Raj Lalwani’s profile chamber. Now U can’t imagine this guy’s Profile chamber. Raj has exploited the media facility provided by MS to its verge. All u can see is posters of Kareena Kapoor and Sushmita sen. And I found Raj Drooling in front of one of these pics.
Rohit: Hey Raj
Raj(Not listening) Hmm
Rohit(sees RAj still drooling over Kareena):Hey Raj. Get over her.
Raj: How I wish I could get over Her.
(notices Rohit and grimaces)
Raj:What do u want? My latest review on’Worst smiles of Aloknath’ is posted on the billboard. Go read and comment like u have never read a more laughable revu.as u always do.
Rohit: what can I do Raj? U are such a comic guy when it comes to writing. How I wish I could write like u.
Raj: U better start doing that. Otherwise from what I have heard, u are going to be kicked out as bluntly as I get kicked out of my biology class(Ref: My Munnabhai MBBS revu).
Rohit: Help me man. I know you never read or rate my revus but at least do this much.
Raj:Ok before you start behaving like tusshar kapoor I will let u the secret. See you Karan Johar of revu writing, Drop those serious subjects and movies. Write something funny and include a bit of sarcasm. Don’t let the reader feel they are watching some Oprah Winfrey show.
Rohit Ok boss thanks I guess I will see Jugs now. Bye*
RohitDewal(Voiceover) He didn’t even respond as he got busy again with Kareena.
Zap and I reached the profile chamber of Juggers.
RohitDewal(voiceover) He stood there like a silent warrior. Seems covered with virtual armour.aaahhh what trash am I writing. Well whatever I approached this literary(literally hehehe) giant. .
Rohit: Hey jugs How are you doin’?
Juggernaut: Tch Tch, after all these yrs on my trust list and you still use slang. Ur use of language is so diabolic.
Rohit: Ok Amol cut the crap I know u like me. Why else would u put me in ur trust list?
Juggernaut: Oh that. See I don’t drop anybody from my trust list once I give them the trust. And moreover you sometimes write good revus on philosophy and obscure English movies.
Rohit: Then why are they throwing me out?
Juggernaut: Because of your language may be. Your viewpoints maybe tolerable but when u add ur atrocious vocabulary and grammar to it. Its worse than Scripts of Mithun Da movies. Look at my reviews( the three diabolic interview ones) and learn the art of using a language.
Rohit: I got it Jugs. Got any more advice?
Juggernaut: Try Sujata Didi. I mean Afrank. Maybe she can bring out some sense in you
- Continued in Comments Section