I continue to wage a war with everything that is around me

And in the desperate need to clutch onto something firm and grasp it

I find in that confusion where I seek something strong and secure

Amidst that clutter of unresolved situations and no conclusion to even that peak point of crisis

Something bankable, something unexpectedly supporting me in those moments when I have felt troubled and insecure.

I look up and gaze beyond my limited horizon

To find comfort and consolation in that reclusive space when I know that to guide me and keep me going

I have a sense of that direction that is strong enough to rebuke me when I am wrong,

the conscience to believe in that which is ethical and distinguish it from the non-desirable.

The conviction to believe in my dreams even if they are but nothing more real that those half-imagined phantoms in the deeper recesses of my mind.

I have been upfront enough when I have been wronged and I have been discreet enough to judge that my actions would not wrong someone in turn.

Even when I have been rash and impulsive the retrospective and even introspective glance has given me fresh insights into ways of perceiving and dealing with situations.

It has made me bolder than before to believe in myself before I begin to believe in others.

After racing through the sheer madness that drives us with force into a whirlwind

I pause and reflect on those lessons and commit myself with self-reflexivity on ways

of trudging on and making my presence real and perceivable not only to others but even to myself.

I accept my mistakes with humility yet force myself not to repeat them again

And here again I believe in the strength to fight against the wrongs than be wronged

The courage to stand up for what I believe in even if it seems unrealizable at the mere first glance of it

And the strength to dare to believe in those dreams which become more fantastical when experienced in those lived moments than if they were merely crushed after I woke up from that dream.

In moments when I have lost the strength to believe I know its worth it to pick up myself from there and trudge on those meandering paths and clouded paths onto safer shores and

feel the comfort of having realized those dreams and met failures at times but success at the end of the road.

Therein lies the comfort in convincing myself to believe in dreaming and more importantly waking up with the thought of realizing them when I have indulged so lavishly in aspiring for them.