hello ppl,

this time I am moaning about the demons in my head so if u r not up to it dont read any further.

im lately very depressed with a whole bunch of things. even though I hv a lovely family. I just cant seem to concentrate, ive lost my competitive edge, im also becum timid and I feel I am a useless guy.

i wouldnt care for myself except for the fact that I hv got kids who are very young. if it wasnt for them I would hv been god knows where.

ive lost the will to fight, to stand up against bull shit, fed up with ppls behaviour at work etc.ive lost it all mentally. I cant take it anymore. I cant face the world anymore I feel.im so scared. im not happy at work coz I cant seem to cope up with a lot of things. no one cares a shit for me at work or elsewhere. I got no friends..i guess I am a complicated person. I always harbor negative thoughts. ive becum lazee too. my mental condition is crashing down slowly but surely and I am scared wat effect it will hv on my family.

im a normal guy otherwise but ppl make me act in ways tht I am not. I dont hv a guru. I need sumone to talk to spill my heart out without worrying tht it will b misused by others but there is no such person.

this world is real bad. I hv failed miserably in my life so far. ive been a let down for so many ppl probably. I dont think good about myself. wat a miserable soul I am and wat a person I hv becum. I dont even know wat else to write here. im so screwed up. I hate this life and the way it treats me.

if u hv read this far god bless ur soul. im just trying to loghten up my heavy heart. thanks for reading. ive lost hope to finding true friends anywhere in the world