An open piece of communication that is directed at the people who took the brave decision to publish the now famous ’’The Inscrutable Americans’’ by Mr. Anurag Mathur.
Dear Sirs,
(I am assuming in my humbleness that there are more than the two or three of you. In fact, I am imagining a whole community of talented can-not-be-writers, who have taken on the mantle of the new messiahs of how-to-write for a whole generation of youngsters who call their own excreta crap and get away with it)
I too am a writer. And I too can write hoboken english that sounds like a Tamilian gargling at midday. (See, I can make jokes too) The point is I read the book, what a fantastic book, I cried at times. Yes, I can say that. I am a writer too, I too have feelings. What hardship, what a letter. This young boy Gopal goes to the America, the America. Where stallone picks tooth, struggles with jaw and says ’’crime is the disease, I am the cure’’. Where boys tell other boys, that they love boys. What a country. Americans are nice, just like Randy. And Rambo and Michael Jackson, (though the latter has no nose whatsoever now), they are nice. Randy is so sweet to Gopal.
Anurag Mathur is like a godsend, no. For people like me who drink Coca Cola because water is not available. So what if it contains pesticides? Pesticides kill pests, no? Not us. But as I was saying, My friend was there at one point in time, how nice they are to brown-skinned people. They invite them to Halloween and Thanksgiving. They get laid together as well. I have never met anyone who claimed thay laid together. By the way, isn’t the word lied? I am confused, but I am sure Anurag Mathur isn’t.
It is a good book. I rate it slightly lower than the dal tadka available at the local dhaba and slightly higher than a louse (that’s singular for lice). I also think it is very funny. It is earth-shattering, ground-breaking and might cause other large-scale geological disturbances. Might have been even better if written in 1942. Can’t say that about the dal though. That would not be cricket, would it?
very humble servant,
an inscrutable writer