The last time I felt this way was when ’Mujhe Kuchh Kehne Hai’ was rendered SuperHit. It was as if the whole world had turned topsy turvy and I am left wondering - hell, am I abnormal or what?
The same familiar feeling crept inside me when K3G (as most people ’love’ to call the movie) was rendered a BlockBuster. I am not a Bollywood fan - anything but that, please! But still, I do have the basic sense to judge between a good movie and a bad. And for sure, without doubt, I have the sense to understand the basic sense behind a sensible movie.
K3G is anything but sense. You can hit me with a sledgehammer. You can bury me alive. You can nail me to a cross. But a thousand times I shall scream out loud - That movie S*cks beyond anyone’s wildest imagination!
If you ask me, its actually mind boggling how Karan Johar could come up even remotely with such a terrible storyline. Actually its a shame to even call it a storyline.
The Plot
Hold up.
Lemme laugh.
Keep holding on.
Lemme laugh some more.
Damn. Be Patient.
Let tears roll down my eyes.
K3G doesn’t have a plot dude. So what’s the movie based on? You combine DDLJ, KKHH, DTPH and some other famous hits over the years and voila - you get something like K3G. And people actually go nuts about it!
Its the same tried-and-tested ghisi-piti story. Rich boy falls in love with poor girl. Family goes bonkers. He moves to London with her without a single penny and somehow lives like a millionaire. His brother somehow ends up in the story with her sister and everyone eventually becomes one big happy bollywood family. Yoohoo, its over! You can wake up now.
Question - Why would a rich, well-to-do , good-looking (supposedly) guy even look at a poor, jhalli girl, puh-leeze leave aside the trash to do with loving her and marrying her?
Answer - You forgot its a hindi movie? Duh!
Question - Why would 1) Someone like to be called ’Pooh’ 2) Someone called Pooh (LOL!) whose supposed to be this hot hot HOT female least bothered about guys all of a sudden fall heads over heels with a typical jock?
Answer - 1) Its a hindi movie. Thank God she wasn’t called Priya or Anjali.
2) Oh, then again, its a hindi movie, right?
Question - How can parents who have totally disowned their son because he married a poor girl (bah! hambug!) all of a sudden change their minds?
Answer - Stop asking me stupid questions, its a hindi movie dammit!
The Cast
Even since I’ve seen DDLJ and KKHH, I have been convinced that Kajol and Shahrukh look great together, no matter how the movie maybe. One only hopes their characters were more strong and Shahrukh didn’t have to use so much glycerine. They both do well, I guess, in their respective roles. I am sorry, I could barely go through the crap once unlike most of you who’ve probably even bought the DVD!
Kareena does what she does the best - I need not go into that. Somehow, it makes one glad she didn’t have much to do in the movie - ’coz she ain’t capable of it, not as yet. Hrithik again sticks in the background appearing and disappearing like a nobody. He’s very forgettable in the movie. There’s not much he does to be missed later on, either.
Amitabh and Jaya are okay. Thats all. Okay. They haven’t conquered great forts by doing the movie. Just wasted time, energy and good talent.
Rani Mukherjee looks stunning. Perhaps they should’ve considered an elongation of her role. I strongly believe Karan Johar thought it was a good idea for Shahrukh to ditch her this time around, as he ditched Kajol last time (KKHH).
Question - So a super-starrer like such should be a super-hit?
Answer - It was, wasn’t it?
Question - Is the cast the only reason the movie’s a BlockBuster hit?
Answer - You tell me!!!
SoundTrack
Nothing to drive you crazy. But yes, that can be called one of the highlights. Sorry, that can be called the only highlight. Geez, I am not a cynic, stop trying to wish I die. If you hear it enough times, you’ll start liking it eventually. No more Comments. Thank You.
Moral of the Story
’Its all about wasting your parents good money’, or your own for that matter. No, the movie doesn’t have a head or a tail, so don’t anticipate any body either. Just see the first 10 minutes and last 10 minutes of the movie, and you’d be glad you didn’t see the rest of the three hours.
As for me - I am going to stop cribbing about it, and move on to my next review.