On the Say Na Something to Anupam Uncle Show, to give an added zing to his show, the host Anupam Kher(aside from adorable kids) has also invited bollywood celebrities like Mahesh Bhatt, Nandita Das, Manoj Bajpai, and even Yukta Mukhi to talk about their childhood days. This time Mr. Anupam Kher invited TV personality Ms. Ekta Kapoor to talk about her childhood on his Say Na Something Show. The following is the interview between Anupam and Ekta.
ANUPAM: Welcome to my show, and thanks for coming.
EKTA: Thanks for inviting me, and it’s my pleasure.
ANUPAM: Ekta you are entertaining so many with your K-serials around the world, so please entertain us further by telling us something about your childhood.
EKTA: I have had a great childhood full of love and support from my family. Although as a child I did experience a lot of injuries. When I was an itty bitty baby I peed on my daddy’s famous white pants, and my dad, who jumps around a lot, accidentally dropped me on my head. When I was ten years old, I was enjoying myself at a picnic by hiding behind trees and listening to people’s conversations, when out-of-the-blue, lightning struck the tree that I was under, and a thick fat branch of the tree fell on my head. After this incident, one time I called my brother a wimpy boring geek, and he accidentally dropped his bat on my head. Due to this injury, I was afflicted with amnesia for one whole year. My amnesia was so serious that I could not even remember my abc’s, but interestingly the only letter that would keep popping in my mind was the letter K, and all the words would start with K or even with double KK’s in my mind. This is why I am so obsessed with this letter.
ANUPAM: I’m so sorry about all this. Were you ever able to regain your memory?
EKTA: Yes! Tusshar just had to hit me on the head with his bat again.
ANUPAM: Hmmm how very interesting! What do you miss most about your childhood?
EKTA: I miss sitting with my mom and dad and watching dad’s movies. While watching dad’s movies, I would loudly declare to my parents that no matter how it happens(by hook or by crook) I would one day become famous like my dad. On hearing this, my parents would always swell with pride at the words of their overambitious daughter. Unfortunately, nowadays there is no time to spend with family, because I am insanely busy with my serials. It is not easy to come up with such original, exciting, incredible stories in serial upon serial. I have the people of India hanging on from their teeth, desperately waiting to see what will happen in the next episode of all my serials.
ANUPAM: Wow that’s great Ekta. Your FEARials er.I mean serials are enjoying immense popularity. Ok now let me ask you a question that I ask everyone who comes on my show. Who do you like more? Your mom or your dad?
EKTA: Give me a fu%*ing break. What kind of a stupid question is this? Let me ask you Anupam, who do YOU like more from your parents?
ANUPAM: Ok forget it, because I see I have made you upset, so let’s jump to the secret part of this show.
SAY NA SECRET TO ANUPAM UNCLE: In this part of the show, Anupam Kher asks all his guests to reveal a secret about themselves.
ANUPAM: Ok Ekta please tell me a secret about you.
EKTA: My secret is that I am a vampire.
ANUPAM: Oh! You suck blood?
EKTA: No, I suck the brain cells of all the people who view my serials.
ANUPAM: Ha ha ha this is not a secret, because everyone knows this.
EKTA: Ok Anupam you want a secret. Well here is a secret. I think your show is full of sh*t. The only reason why I have come to your show is because I want to give you some tips on how to improve it.
The very first thing you need to do is to change the title of your show from’Say Na Something to Anupam Uncle’ to’Kaho Na Kuch Kuch to Kher Kaka’. 5 k’s in the title will eventually prove lucky, and will increase the ratings of your show.
You should have dramatic loud background music, something like tin tana na na na or ah ha ah haaaaaaaaaa while you are questioning kids; and the camera should move abruptly back and forth, repeatedly like crazy from your face to the kid’s face to emphasize intense emotion and melodrama like in my serials.
Instead of asking kids silly questions like which parent they prefer or if their mom and dad fight, you should ask kids exciting questions like if they have seen daddy kiss someone who was not their mommy. Questions like these will indubitably make your show more popular, because public loves extramarital affairs. This is one of the reasons why all my serials are insanely popular.
ANUPAM: Now wait just a minute! What makes you think that I need your tips?
EKTA: It is painfully apparent that you need tips to become popular like me, because on a website called mouthshut, there are so many reviews written about me or my shows; but ha ha, there is only one measly review written on your show.
ANUPAM: But most of the reviews on you are atrociously negative!
EKTA: Hey hey hey positive or negative, I am still getting more attention than you ever will. This is not all Anupam, I got more tips for you!
ANUPAM: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh(Anupam pulling out whatever hair he has left on his head)! Oh good lord kher karo mujhpe, just like her FEARials, she keeps going on and on and on. Please STOP the camera, and somebody get this INDIA’S #1’SERIAL’ KILLER out of my set!
This interview with Ekta Kapoor was not aired for obvious reasons.