PERCEPTION

On a high school science quiz, there was the question, "When water becomes ice which of its physical properties increases?"

Everyone answered, "Its volume…" Except one wise guy who wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price increases."

When we have different points of view…. it is impossible to win an argument. This is the cause of conflict in the world. People look at issues differently depending on their own experiences.

TOO LATE

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."

We realize a lot of things when it is too late to do anything about it. KARMA is something like wisdom in a ‘recorded message’. You cannot change anything – it is too late!

SOME LUCK!

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.

His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.

"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

Be careful about what you wish for – it may come true! Reality is always so different from dreams.

WORD POWER

The Teacher asked, "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?"

Mary answered, "A chicken gives eggs!"

The Teacher then asked, "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?" And Paul answered, "A goat gives goat milk!"

And finally the Teacher asked, "Well now, who can tell me what the cow gives?"

And Little Johnny replied, "Homework!"

Words get embedded in our minds along with their meanings. When we hear a word it evokes a response in our minds. Human intelligence has become enslaved by words.

HUMILITY

A bishop, a priest, and a peasant were in a great European cathedral.

The bishop approached the altar rail, beat on his chest and declared, "I am nothing! I am nothing!" Then the priest approached the altar rail, beat on his chest and declared, "I am nothing! I am nothing!"

The humble peasant was moved to imitate the bishop and the priest, so he approached the altar rail, beat on his chest and declared, "I am nothing! I am nothing!"

The priest turned furiously and hissed into the bishop's ear, "Who the hell does he think he is?"

People who claim to be pious and virtuous are the most insecure. They are under tremendous pressure to live a life of pretence. Their intentions may be good; but they cannot escape the reality of human desire. They actually believe in the value of repression. They are convinced that they are great because they are miserable. They believe that their renunciation of the simple joys of life has somehow made them great. They are proud of their achievement – and will not let anyone take that away from them.