Welcome to Pink Horn Productions’, ‘Turncoat Trends’. Tonight, we will analyze the sport that has become hugely popular especially in the subcontinent. We have six invitees from India on the show, who will express their views on the game. We are also honored to have in our midst Roger Cloy, the president of ‘Teal Vista Inc’, Biswa Murthy, the Chief Selector of Indian Cricket and Pinky Sera, the model turned commentator who is also running for elections. We also have an American in our panel, who has professed interest in the game. Please welcome all of them. This is Vivek Paen, your host for the show tonight.
The Invitees and their stand:
VP Dr. Sashi, why do you hate the sport?
BS: I have a PhD from MIT in Work Analysis. After coming back to India, for the love of my motherland ..
VP Dr. Sashi, could you be more precise.
BS The sport lasts for five days and you have all the offices empty or working at half the capacity. Kids are known to bunk school and break windows. It is hurting the country in general. This has to stop. Please ban the game.
VP I am sure the government is listening sir.
BS This government never listens. Back in America the system took care of ..
VP irritated. We all know that. Let us just stick to cricket for now.
Turns to Ashok Geva
VP Mr. Geva, I am sure you appreciate the game better.
AG Sab ke sab bikao hai. All they do is sell biscuits, bicycles and beedis. Did you see how they played against UAE? The match was fixed. I was so upset. I used to eat Britannia biscuits, drink Kingfisher, wear Reeboks, had even signed up for Reliance mobile. Aur mila kya?
VP But Mr.Geva, sport is all about winning and losing.
AG No way. You know what I and my friends did after that UAE loss? We went around painting their houses black, smashed a few windscreens. It worked well. See, how they played agains’t Pakistan after that. We need to do this often.
VP flabbergasted. Never mind
VP Mr. Ladal, What do you think of the game?
TL chewing some tobacco, and grinning at AG.
Kya bolu? Dhandha thoda mand hai. Sab police aur WCC (World Cricket Council) ne waat laga di hai. Pehle team mei mere dost log the, aaj kal sab jail mei hai. But, it is still a good investment. With people in the right places, you still can make quite some dough out of it.
Mobile Rings.
TL Haan, TVS pe teen peti lagana.
Turning back to VP.
So, you see it works out and I have no problems.
AG See, this is what I was talking about.
VP clearly disgusted. Let us just move on.
Turns to Ronan Vilar.
VP Ronan. Congrats on making it to the Indian team. I am sure you must have worked hard for this.
RV chewing some gum. Yeah, yeah. Sure why not?
VP I mean, tell us about it.
RV I had the match videos for the past ten years and my daddy helped me out to understand the game. I never had to go for any match practice. I played with Daddy and his club for two years, had a few runs and made it to the Indian team. But I am not supposed to say it. Am I on TV?
VP Good luck for the future Ronan.
A Ten Minute Break
VP Welcome back to the show. Let us talk to Biswa Murthy, the chief selector. Mr. Murthy, isn’t it a bit unnatural that six players from your state are in the national team? You really must have a very good cricket culture down there.
BM Yes, the boys have done very well at the local level. The past selectors were mostly biased towards their states, but my selection criteria are purely based on merit. It is just a coincidence that we found six talented youngsters from my state. Trust me; there was no bias whatsoever in the selection process. If you can play good cricket, we can consider you as well.
VP Thank you sir, we believe you. I am a tennis player by the way.
Turns to Roger Cloy
VP Sir, the growth of cricket can be partially attributed to the money you and your company have been pouring into it. What are your views?
RC It is all a business you see. I invested in your top player and got him signed for five years for 10mln and I could recover it in a year. People are crazy in your country. I had heard the same about Americans, but it is tough to come across such loyalty towards sportsmen elsewhere. My job is to make money and sell products and cricket helps thanks to your crazy nation. My only worry is that people should not start thinking about these things; it can be bad for business.
AG There you go, what did I say? Turning to the crowd. Don’t keep buying those stupid biscuits just because Gumrolee endorses them. But who am I talking to!
In the midst of all this, the American who seemed pretty left out decided to speak out before he was spoken to.
JD I am a football fan you see. I think your pitchers and batters are too slow.
VP Excuse me sir, but I think you are confusing cricket with baseball.
JD Sounding stupid I am really sorry. I see these Indian kids playing cricket in the basketball court . I am really curious; you know, to learn about this sport. It is unfortunate that it never caught up in America.
VP I am sure it will be popular soon sir, with all the ProCricket clubs coming up. Let us speak to Pinky Sera and hear what she has to say.
PS adjusting her hair I think all the cricketers are sweet and cute. I even spoke to Ajay’s mom and she was so shweet. The TV audience is so pleased to see my taste in Sarees. As you see, I have taken the focus out of the game, which is good because there will be Shanti all over. Did you notice the blue saree that I wore without anything else? In fact before each game, all the world is curious about what I am going to wear next. I think I am the reason for the rising popularity of cricket.
VP The panel is open for discussion my friends.
Ronan Ms. Pinky, I am a cricketer, do you find me cute as well?
Cloy Would you be interested in signing a contract for me?
Murthy Would you want to play for the Women’s cricket team?
Diaz Indian women are very pretty.
Ladal On the phone, ‘Do peti on Pinky. Blue Saree, No straps for the next match’
A Kid in the audience: Sachin is the best !!
Paen: I am sure he is beta. Everybody, thanks for joining us on Turncoat Trends. Have a great day ahead.
--damo--