I have just read Divers’ review on this topic and ask that you read his also. I found the topic so interesting that I thought I would do my own review on it.
Everyone has fears, some may be for a long time, some short. The short form of fear I call apprehension. For example you have applied for a new job that you really want and are waiting for their decision.
This is apprehension and a fear that you might not get that job. Certainly if you don’t there will be others but even knowing this you get nervous, maybe sweating palms, and possibly no sleep if you have to wait till the next day for your answer.
These things happen all the time and are short lived and may not even seem like a fear to some people but to me it is. Part of that being it ties in with the the fear of rejection.
Another example.you are meeting someone for the first time of the opposite sex in a dating situation. Will they accept me, will we have a good time, what should I wear? All sorts of things go through your mind. Again the fear of rejection rears its ugly head.
I could go on all day with these types of fears but am sure you get the picture.
Now comes other types of fears. You are a woman alone asleep at night and you hear a loud noise in your house. Your heart pounds in your chest and you wonder what it is. Did some one break in? Am I being robbed? Okay you have two choices here to calm this fear. You can lay there for awhile and wait to see if you hear anything else getting more fearful and wasting time or you can call the police and have them come check.
If it is nothing fine don’t feel silly about it, just be thankful that it was no one in your home.
While you are waiting for the police be very quiet. If your bedroom door locks get up and lock it as quietly as you can, if not prop something under the doorknob to give a tiny bit of an obstacle should an intruder come in.
If you have a cell phone hold on to it in case your regular lines are cut. Also grab whatever you can for a weapon, in case you have to defend yourself. Now turn off the lights with these things in bed with you if you had turned them on to begin with and act like you are sleeping but stay alert. When you hear the sirens coming let the police check around outside first, stay where you are and wait until you hear them knock then head for the door with your weapon in your hand and a flashlight.
Do not turn on the lights. Using the flashlight would keep you safer as if there is a burglar in the house he might figure you are just checking the noise.
Did all that scare you? It sure would if you were in that position and each minute would seem like an hour but it too is a short lived fear. However if it is found out that indeed someone had broken in, the fear will remain that it could happen again unless you take further steps to see that it doesn’t.
Some suggestions for this are as follows. You can put light sensors in outside that will light up when someone approches in the dark. You can also add a security system to your home. A bit expensive but well worth the security. You could also get a dog and keep it inside at night. I am sure you can think of many other things that could be done.
Now comes the long time fears. I will give you an example of one of mine.My mom was afraid of thunder and lightning and when I was a kid each time there was a storm she would take me with her and we would hide in a closet. Thus I became afraid of storms, the dark as the closet had no light and the fear of being in small places.
For many years I would not hide in a closet but I would sit in a corner away from all windows, close all windows even if it was 90 degrees and I would scream each time it got loud. After awhile I got to thinking how stupid this all was. Of course there are cases where lightning has struck and people have been struck. However I was determined to get rid of this fear.
The first thing I did was leave the windows open during the storm and close my eyes and listen to it, still screamed here and there but finally got through that step to where the screaming stopped.
The next step was to get out of the corner so would walk around the house humming and I got through that part.
Now for the biggest and scariest move of all. I forced myself to go outside and sit through an entire storm on the porch. Some screaming occured again but after many times I conquered the fear and now I actually find it relaxing.
Basically if you have a huge fear try to face it head on. If you still can not get rid of it seek counseling for it.