*-| Lovers are never bored together because they only think of themselves|-
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*It was a blazing mid-summer morning and Jia stepped into the library fifteen minutes late. Being a woman automatically permits them to disregard time. Her first date was waiting by the librarian’s desk impatiently fiddling with his key-ring. Jia announced herself with a tentative hello and asked where he wanted to take her. His reaction was splendid.
’The FastTrack collection is really good, ’ he said.’May be I’ll buy you one to you know. seal our first date?’
Poor Jia was scared into bitter punctuality after that. Two years when I went out with her, she sat waiting by the college canteen for half an hour before scheduled time.
Lesson to be learnt: If you have an ego, keep it. You’ll probably suck worse without it.
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Now that was a really shabby way to write a review on this subject. It does take some amount of talent and even hard work to creat such little anecdotes to illustrate the points you want to make. It does make for some interesting reading as well. All of us have a bad habbit of relishing embarrassments of Jia’s and Tina May Franks. But I still think it is a shabby way to go about it.
It’s too cheesy.
It’s too boring.
It’s too artificial.
It’s too un-original.
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*Akhilesh knew his brand new hair cut was not suiting him the least. First of all, he did not have any hair left. Except for a moss-like carpet of sharp, pointed hair, his scalp was available for public display. Carried away by football fever, he’d had his Ronaldo-cut done not realizing that the very same evening he was supposed to go out with a damn cute girl from his class. She couldn’t possibly see him in his new egg-head look.
He wore a cap.
All was fine.
Except, unfortunately, the girl turned out to be literate. She read the message on his cap.
"I f*ck on 1st 26/12/00"
Lesson to be learnt: You are who you are who you are. Period.
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*The story inevitably dilutes the effect of the lesson being emphasized. Of course it is far better than writing down these lessons as a list of rules and dashing out a really tiring theoretical explanation of each. After all, psychology experts form the world’s most insufferable company. However, the story is a new ploy being employed by these very experts. And they get to your nerves. The story is invariably an exaggeration of humon imbecility. And what is worse? The expectation is that we learn a lesson from those idiots. It’s like asking a wise guy to work hard because donkeys lift heavy weights day in and day out. Incoherent, irritating and humilating.
You’re not going end up making a spectacular amount of fans using that technique.
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*It was Anju’s first date and it was with a boy who studied at IIT Powai. He was back on a vacation. From what she had heard from his friends, Rohit was an extremely bright boy at his college. He had a CGPA of around 9.25. That is quite a big deal. A gigantic deal in fact. It was going to be hard for Anju who studied Zoology at a local university to converse with him at the same mental frequency as her genius first date. A little background reading was probably what she needed, she thought, and she did a lot of it. The result?
Her following comments.
"That’s quite a nice watch. Titan is it? Ooooh. The MuP-85 they use to synchronize the timing sequence on the system clock is really cool. Do you think it’s a bipronged encrypted code they enter into the bus cycle?"
"Did you check out how the new partical accelerator at Bell Labs looks? They say they could isolate antimatter for just about enough to get a thorough picture of anhilation."
If the boy dated her once more, his CGPA was bound to crash down to 1.11. And even Chetan Bhagat then would be wanting to jump into the Indian Ocean. No God’s going to call him then.
Lesson to be learnt: Being together is not about talking the same stuff. It’s all about listening with love.
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*Most of us hardly go on dates. And if we do, we end up getting married to the third girl we went out with. So it’s really un-smart to write on First Date Experience-s. Nobody can really have so many stories to tell. They’re bound to be fake. So the story-and-lesson ploy fails miserably. The end result is frustration for the reader and a sumptuous number of Not Useful ratings. And it’s miserably dishonest of anyone to say the ratings don’t matter.
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Ending Note
*You probably didn’t understand the review thus far. Relax. It’s not your fault. I’d planned it that way. What’ I’m trying to say is.
*You’re actually spending this kind of memory space on a topic as miserably
unnecessary as this?
-| THE RUSTIC HAS SPOKEN|-